Preparation for Haj 2009

Syukur alhamdullillah my wish to perform Haj for the second time was granted by the grace of Allah. Since 2006, Sharipah and I attempted to request to perform our Haj from Tabung Haji but was not successful. In 2007, we were so eager to go with Dr.Napsiah and Prof Yusof and had collected our hand-carry bag, telekong and other gifts from Tabung Haji. They were so positive that we would get the extra quota for Malaysians that year. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually we were prepared but later Tabung Haji apologized and informed us we failed to get a place because there was no extra quota given. Of course we were greatly disappointed. The next year we applied again. This time early in the year we were already informed that our names were not in the list but we said it's OK, we'll keep on trying. Then, at the last minute we were offered Muassasah place by Tabung Haji but we declined. We reason that being seniors with a number of aches and pains, we need a more comfortable place to stay, sharing a room with attached bathroom, even though we have to pay more. In 2009, again we applied and faithfully attended the Haj course, Sharipah in Kuantan and I, in PD, but again our name were not in the list. By this time, we were immuned to disapointment until an old contact person persuaded us to apply through private package - TM Tours and Travel with whom we have been to Umrah several times.

At first, chances were slim as our names were still not in the list but at the last minute, they called and said we were successful. So the frantic preparation began but there was still no date of departure. Poor Ika and Justin, at the beginning I told them I might leave for Haj on 17 November and they bought return flight from Phuket after meeting Justin's friends from Ireland to be back by 14 November. So again they have to make changes to return on 13 November. I want my children to be around when I leave for Haj. It's quite unsettling when everything is so tentative but that's what Haj trip is. With 26,000 jemaah and a 10,000 last minute quota given by Saudi government, managing it must be a huge headache but TH is quite efficient in this respect.

After attending the TM briefing on Sunday 1 November, there are certain issues that need to be cleared with them which I am not happy particularly the downgrading of package with no adjustment of price. When a jemaah requested to upgrade the package, he/she has to top up the price but when he/she is being downgraded for certain reasons, no refund of difference in price is discussed, why??? In my case, the difference is quite substantial. Email stating my feeling has been sent but no satisfactory response is received. But my aim is to do my Haj in peace and will settle the issue when I return. There is no 'tak apa' or 'halal saja' here. This is a big issue to be resolved as this is not the first time a case like this happened to both of us and I don't want it to be TM management practice. I hope with the grace of Allah, the issue is resolved in good faith.

I am ready and packed but several times I have to minimize my clothes as the bag provided by TM is compact enough for 20kg allowed by the airline. This time, I am like many problematic ladies with different ailments. I have to bring a small chair with back support to the mosque to pray. I cannot sit on the floor too long due to backaches. I am asking God's help to minimize my need to go to the toilet when I am in the mosque. Imagine, with more than 3 millions people concentrating in one place, toilets will be a big problem.

Faithfully with advice, I have written my Will for execution by Amanah Raya. I've wanted to do this for quite a while and I am happy I got the chance to do it now.

To ex-students, friends and relatives, mohon ampun dan maaf segala kesilapan dan halalkan makan minum. As far as I remember I don't owe anybody money except IBS, my publisher, which I am going to clear it before I leave. If I owe money, let me know or halalkan saja sehingga I come back from Haj.

Pray for me for safe return and gain Haji Mabrur, insyaallah.

Another birthday ( 2009)

Ahhhh....another year passed by and I am getting 'wiser' by the minute. Allah is most kind and merciful to me - I am given a rich, peaceful life and good health. I am able to do what I want to do, with His Blessing, of course - thus, another birthday. I wonder sometimes how many more birthdays in good health will I have to celebrate? Only HE has the answer, meanwhile life has to go on. Syukur Alahamdullillah!


Since 1 November 09 (Sunday) was for attending Haj briefing by TM Tours and Travel in City Villa Hotel, KL, Maz arranged for the family members to have birthday lunch at Sheraton Hotel , KL on 31 Oct 09. Hazri was in PD attending a workshop, so, Ika, Justin, Maz, Izrin and Haidi were there. At 4.00 pm Jin Kim and Sharipah invited me to have high tea at One Utama. Bloated with dimsum, I wondered how I could cope with another stuffing but thanks God, Sharipah called to cancel because Jin was held up in Bentong.


At the briefing I met Sofiah Hamid and husband Omar who are in the same Haj package. I have not met nor kept in touch with them for such a long time. Sofiah used to be my best friend since university days but grew apart due to family involvement and going separate ways since we retired. Having 9 grandchildren is not a small matter and I bet she was on her toes most times though they're not living with her. Anyhow, I am still excited at the prospect of being a first-time grandma next year in April.


Thank you Amalia for taking the trouble to pay me a visit in PD and to wish me Happy birthday on Monday 2 November. Most thanks to Najidah who picked Amalia at KLIA and drove to PD to see me, with goodies. It was really good seeing Amalia again after a long time.




Najidah, I just love the birthday card you gave me and I thought it was such a brilliant idea. Your caring and love made you collect and gather all your friends' wishes for me and turned it into a beautiful card. I'll treasure it forever, kept safe in my file in Arkib Negara.



















And to all my ex-students and friends who sent messages through the card, phone calls, emails, SMS, birthday cards and YM, thank you a million times. It's nice to know that I am still in your hearts!!














I received a FWD email from a friend and here it is, with a little bit of editing. I enjoyed reading this piece which aptly describes me and my feeling. Please enjoy it.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

I can choose to read or play on the computer until the wee hours in the morning and sleep until noon. I can dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of joget or dondang sayang or the tunes of the 60s and 70s. And if at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love.....I will!!!!!

I will walk the beach in tight suit stretched over a bulging body and I will jump into the waves screaming with abandon, if I choose, in spite of amused and pitying glances from the young onlookers. They too will get old!

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgetten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or even a beloved cat gets hit by the car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to live long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn gray.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I have earned the right to be wrong.

I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying what will be. I am free to be ME.


I am not counting the years I have lived so far but the memories that I have and the blessings I have enjoyed.
May all of you have happy and memorable birthdays too.

Kompleks Sejarah Kuala Kempas

I passed this coastal road so many times and saw the signboard 'Kompleks Sejarah Kuala Kempas', and always meant to stop and see it but didn't make an effort to do so. Finally on the way back to PD yesterday, I stopped and entered the complex. This is another historical site marking the spread of Islam in Malaysia, which very few people know or bother to know. The complex is along kampung road on the way to Linggi from PD. You can't find it if you travel by the highway and have to exit at PD or Linggi.


It's a serene place surrounded by greens. I didn't see any caretaker except a young man who was mopping the complex floor. I thought he was the caretaker. Actually he was just a visitor like me who came during his lunch break but was displeased to see the place dirty, especially the surau. As there was a pail and a mop, he took the initiative to mop the floor clean. I do appreciate this initiative and wish more Malaysians are like that. I joined forces by picking rubbish thrown by visitors at the grave site but there was no rubbish bins!! An old pail became rubbish bin and I hope it will stay there and somebody will empty it at the right place.












According to the information board, this historic place is called Keramat Sungai Udang Port Dickson where the tomb of Syeikh Ahmad Majmun is found together with Kuala Kempas megalithic stone or 'Batu Hidup'.





















Syeikh Ahmad Majnun is a
renowned Muslim theologian who propagated Islam during the Melaka Sultanate. Based on the inscription on the tombstone, this is one of the oldest Muslim gravesites found in Malaysia - 1467-1468. The megalithic stone was in existence since the second or third century.























There is a signboard in red prohibiting anyone, especially Muslims, to use it for worship, for nazar, prayer etc. as it is against the teaching of Islam. A surau in the complex is provided for Muslims to pray. A number of questions keep playing in my mind but there were no answers -no explanation of the grave found there, the megalithic stones and how they were formed, what are their significance etc. In other words, No labelling!


An old well, still functional, has no historical explanation. I wonder what was the story behind this old well. Anyway, I am glad I stopped to visit, at least my curiosity is satisfied.

Follow-up

Remember my poor cousin, Jaafar, in Chengkau? Well a month over has passed and I have not had any news of the progress of the PPRT house that he applied. I kept quiet for a while due to Raya and other occasions. I know nothing would move when everyone is in holiday mood. I guess I am right. I didn't have any news at all - zilt!

I called my cousin, Sham, Jaafar's younger sister who takes care of him and enquired if there is any news or development. No, nothing! I told her I would be going to Kota to see the ADUN today (Tuesday). She freaked out and begged me not to go and see him. I couldn't believe my ears. She pleaded to let the request for Jaafar's house alone and not to push anymore. 'Sabar kak, ada rezeki Jaafar tu nanti.' She said. Sabar? for how long?? It's coming to 2 years! What assurance does she have for the application to be fulfilled if no follow-up is done? I was upset and puzzled over her request. Something must have happened that made her panick.

She is being misunderstood by the people who are supposed to help and they have become cynical. I don't know how much it's true and how she was treated but I definitely do not agree for her to just keep quiet and leave it to rezeki. This is such a defeatist attitude which I don't agree at all. I believe she has to stand up for Jaafar's rights and do a regular follow-up to see the progress. In some way I understand her fear - fear of retaliation by delaying the request. She made me promised not to go or contact people in the welfare department. I wasn't happy at all especially when she told me that the two months welfare aid that Jaafar wasn't able to collect because of ignorance, was not refunded to him. He was paid only RM30.00. Why, why, why??? This is real aniaya!! I am all ready to go to the department to find out but again she pleaded to let it be. What can I do?? I supposed she must have heard negative comments that her aggressive cousin is creating ripples. I wouldn't have cared.

Since I didn't make any firm promise not to go to Kota, I quietly drove there and arrived about 11 am. Unfortunately the DUN office is closed. I waited for an hour and finally left but I came prepared with a letter detailing the process from the beginning, the promise, the hope and the kind words but are they just words? I didn't get to see the YB but I visited Jaafar bringing some food. He was just as confused as before and the house was in a mess. Sham couldn't come back as often because of work. She still has to support her son who is still in college.

I haven't given up yet. I will respect Sham's request but I want to see for how long action will be taken. It's sad if orang Melayu is unwilling to help bangsa sendiri. The PHD attitude should be eradicated in the heart of the Malays, otherwise we will be a downtrodden race. Is this what life is?

I have one upset today and another big one was waiting for me. I just found out that for 3 months my pensions were not paid. No wonder my BSN saving is almost zero. So I wrote an email for Aduan at Bahagian Pencen, and now eagerly waiting for their reply. It's such a puzzle. This is the first time I experience this situation. Imagine, if my source of survival depends on the pension, what will happen to me - tak makanlah agaknya. This is what the poor will experience if they are being taken advantage of. Anyway, I wrote to tell them that I am still alive and kicking.

Thinking with the heart will make us more human.

Anticipation

Cesily and I waited for Sharipah and Jin Kim to buy clothes and toys for their grandchildren in the Waterfront Mall in Cape Town, South Africa in 2004. We waited and waited and they didn't appear. Tired of waiting, we ate ice cream, window shopped and sat down to talk. Still there were no Sharipah and no Jin. Displeased, we went hunting for them in a shop selling children's clothes. So engrosed, they didn't even notice us coming behind them. These two gramdmas had a good time looking, selecting and buying clothes for their 4 grandchildren (Sharipah and Jin have 2 each) and forgot that there were 2 could be grandmas waiting outside. Back at the hotel they excitedly showed us their spoils and admiring, imagining how their grandchildren would look like in them. Ces and I weren't so interested and wondered why they took so long to buy tiny pieces of clothes for the kids. Both of them told us repeatedly, ' You'll be like us too when you have grandchildren!'

I don't know how good I would be as a grandmother and I have longed to be one for a long time since Maz got married 10 years ago. Syukur alhamdullilah, Justin and Ika are going to make me a grandma in April 2010. I pray everything will be find and good for Ika and baby. How do I feel when I got the news a month back? I was happy, of course but more concerned about the stability of Ika's pregnancy. I went back to PJ, called and sms her asking how she is doing in her early stage of pregnancy. So far, everything is OK and I am grateful to Allah.

Everyone is excited at this good news and I got loads of congratulations which Justin and Ika should receive. Ika is elated but complained about her morning sickness and change of her tolerance of any scents around her. Above all, Justin in his calm way, is so pleased to be a father and dotes on Ika. They really are a loving couple and I hope they continue to be so for a long, long time until old age.

My heart beats faster when I saw the scan pictures of my grandchild. It was quite an emotional moment for me and I can't help smiling all day. I prayed syukur to Allah and wish Ika is well - my first daughter whom I love very much ( I love Maz and Izrin as well). I bet Maz is going to be a great aunt and Izrin, a wonderful uncle and Ika's child will bask in loving attention from a first-time auntie and uncle.

2010 is going to be an eventful year for me. I am sorry Mageswary and Fatahyah that I have to cancel my plan to visit both of you in April 2010. Insyaallah some day I will make my way to UK again, before Fatahyah returns home and for me to meet Mages' fiancee in Ireland. Meanwhile all the best to both of you.

I am going to perform my Haj for the second time, leaving in mid November. I'll pray that everything is fine for Ika, Justin and baby.

With positive anticipation to be a superb grandma!

VVIP

I have a very important visitor last week who stayed a week with me in PD. I devoted my entire time to him, making sure his food was always there, comfortable and well protected from any danger or disaster but he wasn't happy. He moped around, refused to leave the apartment and hid himself when he heard unfamiliar voices. I suspected he was unhappy and depressed, no matter how much I coaxed him to go out for a walk, he refused until I scooped him in my arms and took him out. My adorable Mok was with me all week. I took him to see a vet in PD, had him groomed, cut his fingernails, bathed him, cleaned his ears, nose and teeth - he smelt so sweet after that. Ika was frantic at home telling me maybe she had accidentally knocked Mok when she reversed the car. I rushed home to see him but he looked OK - no pining, no limping, in fact he was as blurr as usual. I was going back to PD so I decided to take him with me so that he can be examined by the vet and later enjoy the sea breeze which he liked so much before.

It must be very bewildering for him to be in a new place. Being so timid and a homebody, he panicked at a new place and simply ran as fast as his fat legs can carry him. I chased and held him in my arms, soothing him. Since it was Deepavali week, a number of Indian visitors were there and as usual the noise was unbearable especially the firecrackers. I could feel Mok trembled with fear with the crackling of the firecrackers, his heart raced so fast as he snuggled so closed to me for comfort. Poor Mok! Taking him for a walk along the corridor was quite a hassle as he refused to go further and turned back to the apartment every now and then. No matter how much I coaxed him he still refused to venture out.

Finally when he was settled on the steps to the hotel building, I did my regular exercise - walking up and down the short steps a dozen times until he was bored and ran back to the apartment. Honestly, it was a funny sight seeing his fat backkside and short legs wobling along the corridor. He attracted attention with different reaction. Some were so scared when they saw him, not sure whether he was a dog or a cat, friendly or fierce. When I assured them that he was such a docile cat, many loved touching his his thick coat of hair and patted him lovingly. Mok knows he is a handsome cat.









I took him back to PJ and he was quiet most of the way. The moment I arrived at my front gate in PJ, he started miewing and climbing all over the place, excited that he was home at last. I was amazed at his behaviour - how he recognized his home even before the gate was opened. When I let him out of the car, he just sat in front of the door waiting for me to open it for him to enter and he really lepak on the floor with his usual posture - flat on his stomach!















Now he is secured at home adored by Ika, Justin and Izrin. Before I leave for Haj, he is coming to PD again for his routine grooming and examination. Mok is quite high maintainance!!

I love you Mok and can't imagine life without you.

To update my glaucoma condition, I am glad to report that for the last 3 checkups, my doctors are happy that my eye pressure is stable and no further damage is detected. I am relieved and hope it will continue to be this good. The stress-free lifestyle and the regular exercise help a lot, I think. The Permata Hijrah treatment does play a role in helping me to stabalize the pressure - that is what I suspect and I'll continue to use the treatment and pray for the best. My recent complain is the cataract in my left eye, though not serious, it causes some difficulty to read road signs. I'll wait and see what will happen next.

Please pray for my safe return from Haj with Haji Mabrur.

Election

The Bagan Pinang, Port Dickson by-election is today. I bet everyone who is interested in politics will stay up tonight to find out the result. Last week, on Nomination day, I was at my apartment, thanking God that I didn't plan to go out. The road was jammed with supporters of PKR and Barisan and traffic was crawling like snail. Policemen, in uniform and plain clothes, were everywhere. Then I decided that on election day I must scoot out of PD. Chen, the PD Ascot Manager said she took hours to reach the office which normally time taken was only half an hour. What I fear most was the unruly behaviour of party supporters especially when they are under the influence of alcohol. I detest this barbaric behaviour. Now I am in PJ, I wonder what is happening in PD.

On Saturday 10 Oct 2009, I have to drive to Stadium Tertutup Nilai to attend the Haj Kursus Perdana. It was efficiently managed by Tabung Haji and I am happy I got to hear the talk on H1N1. Now I have an idea of how to take care of myself in a huge crowd like in Mecca. I didn't stay long and drove home before dark. The program was for 2 days with practical on how to perform the Haj.

I have to take infllenza and pneumococcol vaccine from a local doctor appointed by Tabung Haji. Unfortunately the two times I went there the doctor wasn't in with some excuses given by his receptionists. I wonder how would his patients feel when they come and he is not available? Isn't it ethical to close the clinic and put a sign of apology rather than letting the patients walk in with hope to get treatment form the doctor? It was quite frustrating actually going through repeated experience. That's why I don't mind seeing another doctor whose clinic is further. Finally Tabung Haji directed me to see a lady doctor who is always in her clinic. You can trust the ladies to be faithful in their jobs!






Montel Mok's sleeping style.
















Regal Raisa's sleeping style.









In Pj cuddling with my Mok and Raisa. They are my four-legged therapists!!