Part time gardener

The garden in my old house looks more presentable now. Spending most of my time there helping taking care of my daughter and my grand daughter gave me the opportunity to work on the neglected garden whenever I have free time. It was hard work, no doubt. Rose, my Menard beautician friend complained that my complexion is darker and so are my arms. I was so focused to rehabilitate the garden that I disregarded the strong sun. Unfortunately, the heat, the tiredness and the lifting of pots presented me with another problem. My body ached and my eye pressure increased. And I sprained my right wrist. It didn't bother me much at first but as the days went by I found it painful even to hold Rania. Initially I thought I might have arthritis but on checking with a doctor at PD Pusat Kesihatan, she suspected it was just a sprain muscles. With some urut, it was OK after 2 weeks.

In spite of aching back, I felt satisfied to see the garden changing face and I spent some time going back and forth to Sg. Buloh buying bags of soils and plants. The gardening became my regular exercise - walking up and down, squatting, digging, pulling, carrying pots, sweeping and repotting my old bougainvillea plants. No wonder I am so tan!









When Rania came home, everything was at a stand still. I found myself indoors gazing and adoring her and at the same time became a cook - what a boring job! Since Ika is breastfeeding her baby, she has to eat good food for the baby. Fortnightly, I would take time off and drove back to PD to check on my plants in the apartment and enjoyed a well-deserved rest.

Being away from Rania is a new experience for me. I seemed to hear her baby cry just anywhere I go and my heartstrings pulled me back to her every time. I just miss her!! I enjoy seeing her development everyday and love kissing her chubby cheeks.







I still have a lot of work on my garden but hope Ika, Justin and Jen will help to maintain it when I am not around - at least watering the plants once a day. I do worry when I am not around whether Ika has time to water my plants. I doubt whether Izrin or Justin would have time or interest to do it. It would make feel so down if I see my garden goes back to be so unkempt like before.

Challenges of being a mom and a grandma

Ika learning how to bathe her baby with a little help.












Everyday I kept looking at Rania, marveling that such a beautiful bundle of joy is actually my grand-daughter. I think Ika is also in shock looking at Rania, not believing that she is actually hers. We examined her facial features and identify which ones look like her and which look like Justin. She complaints that Rania looks more like her father than her whereas she is the one who had to carry her over 9 months. As the days passed, Rania's looks changed too and she is going to change more as she grows. That's the wonder of babies created by God. At 2 weeks old, she has already established her presence in the family.

Since we brought Rania home, Raisa has been very curious, sniffing at her feet and head. Raisa also seemed to demand Ika's attention, wanting to sit on her lap. Ika has been her carer and I think she became possessive. But for gentle Raisa, she didn't turn nasty but just watched as everyone fussed over Rania. My Mok just couldn't care less who Rania is. He is so secured and doesn't even bother to look at her. But for the first time today, Mok showed interest on Rania when she cried. He inched nearer wondering who this noisy creature is. After a while he turned up his nose and sauntered off. That's my Mok. Like Garfiled, his motto is 'Love me, feed me and don't leave me' and he will be a happy cat!

I am worried over my daughter. Since giving birth she threw herself into panick many times, blaming herself for not being able to breastfeed her baby well. She despairs so easily when Rania cries especially in the evening and said many times 'I can't do this'. Her mind works over time worrying over 'what ifs ' especially when she knows that she has to cope by herself when the confinement period is over. I am going back to PD to get back my life and peace and will be back from time to time. No amount of talking eased her mind. That's the reason why parents cannot counsel their children. I tend to tell her what to do and what not to do. So younger sister, Maz, who is devoted to her older sister, gave her a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ears to listen without judgment. Maz cried when she told me that she is worried about Ika's state of mind. Oh God, this oldest daughter of mine is quite emotional. I told her to go out with Justin tomorrow and I'll take care of baby Rania with a reminder that both mom and dad not to call home. Ill call if Ineed them. I hope, she will calm down and realize that her world is not over when she has a baby.

I hope this worrier daughter of mine will be alright soon and enjoy her baby. She will learn how to schedule her time around Rania and balance her life, insyaallah. Ika, I love you and you will manage, I know. You see, you have my blood running in your body!

Announcement

Rania on Monday 19 April 2010 at Pantai Hospital, 3 days old and starting to be adoringly alert.



















Rania on Sunday,18 April at 1.30 pm, looking adoringly at her mom. She is 2 days and 6 hours old.















15 minutes old Rania Roseworn.















Sleepy head Rania at 9 hours old.











Friday 16 April 2010. I got up before Subuh azan. The usual ritual started a bit early today. I checked on Mok and Raisa, add more food and water, clean their toilet trays and combed Mok's hair which has improved tremendously. The fungus has disappeared and his hair doesn't fall off so much now. After Subuh prayer, another task to be done for I didn't know how long I would be away. So watering the plants in early morning was necessary. Since staying a bit longer in PJ house, I have spent so much time, energy and money trying to rehabilitate my neglected garden.

By 7.00 am I was at the car park at Pantai Hospital, Bangsar and I received SMS from Justin saying 'it's happening now'. My heart stopped a bit and I rushed up to the delivery unit and heard Ika's effort pushing the baby out of her belly. I felt weak. The nurse led me to the waiting room where I prayed silently for Ika and baby to be OK. I was really a nervous wreck at that moment and hope I would get used to it in case I have more grandchildren. Then I heard a feminine wail of a baby and I know that was my granddaughter! Justin came in sweating and excited requesting me to see my first grandchild, clean and bundled nicely in a baby cot. I congratulated, hugged and kissed him with tears in my eyes knowing my lovely daughter and her baby were OK.

Rania Roseworn gracefully announced her arrival into the world at about 7.30 am Friday morning, 16 April 2010 with series of yells. There is no denying, I fell in love with her instantly. Weighing 3.05kg, she looks so much of Justin and Ika blended into one. Holding her hand, her little fingers curled loosely and there I know that she has wrapped her tiny fingers around my heart permanently. Rania, you are going to be my sunshine, my beautiful one. Move over Mok and Raisa, you are being demoted!!!

I don't know how I would be as a grandmother. Many of my friends who are grandmothers themselves said that the feeling and the attitude towards a grandchild are different from your own children. I'll know soon enough. I thank Allah for allowing me to see my granddaughter and I pray that I''l be given time to see and enjoy more in future. When I returned home that night, I prayed sunat syukur. Now baby and mother are still in hospital and Justin has been there by Ika's side all the while. Thank you Justin for devotedly caring for my daughter. May Allah bless you, Ika and baby Rania with much happiness and wealth.

My sincere thanks to my old friend, Dato Dr. Hamid Arshat who took care of Ika through her pregnancy and delivery and also to the nursing staff of second floor Delivery Unit of Pantai Hospital, Bangsar. May God bless you all.

Update on Mok and Raisa

Mok (right) and Raisa (left) sleeping on mybed.










Today, I felt so devastated. Dr. Siti of UPM vetenary clinic called to discuss Mok's blood test done last week. Mok is having kidney trouble as well though not as critical as Raisa's. I felt like half of my world collapsed. I just don't want to see my Mok suffers as Raisa does. He is so precious, so angelic and adorable to suffer such a destructive disease. We saw how Raisa suffers - to the vet twice a week for dialysis and once every two monts for blood test. She has a hard life but inspite of that she is such a good girl. Dr. Netto commented, Raisa is his best patient who didn't struggle when the needle is poked in her thin body. She just buried her head at Izrin's stomach and whimper a bit. Then at home she is in a daze and looks miserable until the effect of the medicine wears off. We felt so helpless. Both Raisa and Mok are perfect house cats and their presence is so therapeutic to us. They have given us so much delight over the years but we can't fight old age.

I just can't believe Mok is in trouble. In cat's years, Mok and I are of the same age, he is 14 but looks young and oh so good-looking. I took him to UPM vet clinic on Dr. Netto's advice to check his blood. At the clinic, Mok was a star. The vet interns there cooed on him, taking photographs, held and cuddle him. Being such a docile cat, Mok did't even whimper but basked in the glory of the attention. He has some skin trouble that results in falling hair. Mok has fungus on his skin. After the 20 questions, Dr. Netto gave me a medicated shampoo to be applied as prescribed. Poor Mok, he has to be shampooed every week. Dr. Netto suspected that the fungus he gets is the result of grooming since I took him for grooming about once a month. The groomer, I guess, didn't keep the combs etc sterilized. I hope no other cats get Mok's fungus if they go for grooming. There is no conclusive evidence but Mok doesn't mix around with other cats around the neighbourhood. He stays at home and around the compund all the time - too lazy and timid to venture out.
I am really upset.
Mok, please get well and I love you to death.

Najidah

Najidah came to visit me yesterday after quite a long silence. When I was in Dubai, I received news that she was involved in an accident with a lorry and she was on a motorbike. It was a hit and run case but fortunately, she managed to get the lorry number and the hit was witnessed by a few people. I was shocked and upset at the news. I remember while she and I were in Unimas, I used to tell her to quit riding motorbike. I have some kind of phobia with motorbike riding. When Izrin was using a motorbike, my heart was always in my mouth, fearing of the danger of riding a motorbike in KL. He was involved in an accident once and I almost fainted hearing the news. When he decided to get rid of the motorbike and bought a small car, I was overjoyed.
Please don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with motorbike but the road, the car, bus, lorry drivers and motorbike riders are frightening. My hair stood on ends many times when motorbikers weaved in and out in the traffic.
I hope this time Najidah really quits riding a motorbike and takes her car even though the place she wants to go is near. But this doesn't mean driving a car can shield you from accident but it's a lot safer than a motorbike. You will never know when accident could happen. For those who have no choice but to travel to work or anywhere by bike, please take care. Get a strong helmet, not the one just for show so that you seem to follow the law. Compulsory helmet is to protect you and not just to make you compliance.
She has to go for restorative dental care due to the accident which affected her mouth and teeth. It must be painful when chewing food and when talking. I hope she is strong enough to handle the challenges she faced in her personal and professional life.
To my other students, please be careful even while driving a car. I am a slow driver driving on the left lane most time but I always get horned by impatient bus, lorry and car drivers. Where do they want me to go? Such is a hassle driving in Malaysia - too many impatient and rude drivers. Some are not fit to be on the road as they think the road belongs to them alone.
Najidah, get well soon.

Ongoing tussle

Since I came back from Dubai, there are a lot of things happened in my life. Sometimes some events affected me hard and I needed to clear my mind by writing it down. But there are times when personal events are so big and complicated that touched not only my mind but the deepest of my heart, I stopped short - I don't know how to put it into words. Hence, my mind flies every where, not focused and my emotion will be like a roller coaster. Somehow I managed to calm myself, fearing putting pressure on me will result in increase in eye pressure.

I have been successful in keeping my eye pressure down but the last two visits to my eye specialist proved to be so disappointing. My optic nerve is in alarming state and my doctor is talking about surgery. I have lost ideas and efforts to keep the pressure down but the last visit on 22 March gave me such a fright - the pressure has shot up higher. I was referred to another senior specialist for second opinion, whether surgery is my best option. Of course with surgery, there are risks. I was told that surgery would the last option and she suggests for me to try a new drug and see whether it will help lowering the pressure. She is optimistic and I am hopeful. I am going to start the new eye drop on Thursday, 1 April and see what happens.

Though I look OK and brave, deep in my heart I have fear - fear of the uncertainty of my sight. Although I don't let that fear overcome me or stop me from doing things that I like but still it's there. It's REAL. The biggest fear I am facing now is the loss of my independence. I am very aware of it but for the moment I have to go on with my life. I guess I shall cross the bridge when I come to it.

I decided to stop using Permata Hijrah. It doesn't help me anymore. I still take Ocu Plus which is an eye food and some other supplements like bilberry, eye bright, ginko, Vit C and Omega 3. I do not know whether these help or not but they are also for my general health.

When I was doing my Hajj, the focus of my prayers was for my children, then siblings, students, friends and others. The only prayer for me is for God to extend my sight until the end of my day. I don't know whether my prayer will be answered - only time will tell.

So once again, I would like to remind my readers to take care of your eyes. Go for eye check with eye specialist, not with optician, regularly. Sight is a precious commodity given to you.

Impression of Dubai

Taken near the hotel where we stayed, unaware of the coming sandstorm (grey sky at the background).

Inspite of media report that Dubai is in trouble financially, as an ordinary tourist, I didn't see any sign of difficulty. Construction still goes on actively and foreign workers still pouring in to get jobs there. Everything looked normal.
February was still winter and the weather was pleasant except if there was a sandstorm, quite often when I was there,. I can feel the fine sand got stuck in my hair, clothes, mouth and nose. On the whole I am in awe with the development in Dubai and the modern facilities provided, including clean toilets. I notice the foreign workers there are committed in their jobs. The toilet cleaners made sure their toilets are cleaned regularly, almost every time after use. Unlike foreign workers in Malaysia, they curi tulang, and spent time chatting and loitering around and clean the toilets once or twice only. Sometimes our public toilets are in disgraceful condition made worse by selfish Malaysians attitude who are in dire need of toilet training. Going to public toilets is a nightmare. This is the result of lack of supervision and commitment from the management and the workers.



At dusk, groups of Indians gather at the wide pavement at Baniyas Street to drink coffee and to chichat.











Shopping at Baniyas Street. Glittering and glamorous top.











There are times in Dubai I was confused. I have to pull myself back reminding me that this is Dubai. When Maz and I went to see the shops at and around Baniyas Road in Dubai City, I thought I was still in India since it was only a week ago I visited India. There were so many Indians - on the road, in the shops, hotels and everywhere. It's like kampung India. But they were so different from the Indians I saw in India - more polite, friendly and clean. Many are Pakistanis and Afghanistans. We didn't feel intimidated and felt safe even when it was dark.
In the malls, another confusion for me. Was I in Manila? Every shop I went in to shop was being manned by Philippino sales persons, including at the Big Bus Tour, the Metro, Atlantis on the Palm - just everywhere. Wow, I didn't meet the locals except at the immigration. It was quite a pleasant surprise to meet Mohammad, our local Al Ain tour guide.The other Pak Arab I met are from Egypt, Syria, Lebnon, Morocco, Libya and other middle east countries. So Dubai is a country of foreigners. Did I meet Malaysians there? There are not many Malaysians working in Dubai compared to other nationalities. Many worked in Emirates airline as pilots and cabin staff, as mangement consultants with Metro, Electricity board and other construction companies as engineers. Maz met a Malay guy at Dubai Mall who made fantastic cup cakes but unfortunately when we we went there that night, the shop was closed.




One of the souks in the city.













Trying a water resisitence jacket made in China at a cheap price at a souk. I bought a Pierre Cardin sweater at a mall, made in China, which cost me 5 times more.

















The front part of spice souk.









Spice souk.









I just had one unpleasant experience in Dubai. That was the first time I felt insulted for being old.





At Dieara City Centre Metro.












The very pretty Souk in Wafi Mall.















A pretty and cosy garden at Wafi Mall.










At Wafi Mall, I waited for a cab to go back to the hotel. It was around 4 pm when the taxi drivers were changing shift. So taxis were far in between. Eventually, a taxi stopped, as usual I just board the cab telling the Indian driver to go to Diera City Centre. He said he didn't know the way and asked me to get down. Obediently I opened the door to get down. Immediately he invited a young Philipino girl there to get in who told him to go to Diera City Centre. I turned around and questioned him why do I have to get down? Isn't she going to the same place as I wanted to go? Why with her, he knew the way to Diera City Centre but to me he said he didn't know? Realising his mistake he asked me to close the car door and drove me to Diera City Centre. Along the way, I told him I know vaguely where my hotel was and he turned around scolding me and said if I knew where to go I shouldn't be taking a cab. I was furious and told him it was none of his business whether I take a cab or not. He refused to drop me in front of the hotel, I insisted. The meter clocked Dirham 13.50. He didn't return my change, I demanded it. Before alighting from the cab, I told him that he is a very unfriendly and unhelpful cab driver and that he should'nt be driving a taxi. Gudgingly he said sorry. How dare he deny me the taxi ride just to take a young woman. I still remember the number of the taxi NT 339 and this happened on 28 Feb 2010. Of course I wanted to lodge a complaint with the Tourist Board but Maz told me to forget it. She is more compassionate on this. If a complaint is lodged, he might lose his job. I will remember this insult for a long time.
Come to think of it, our cab drivers are worse than that. For females, getting into a cab at night is quite risky here because you don't know who the driver is. Cases of being robbed, raped or abducted are quite scary and I don't feel safe in Kuala Lumpur, my own country. Lodging a complaint is quite pointless, no action is taken. I have called and complaint about KLIA cab drivers who smoke and the smell of smoke lingers even though they sprayed with scented air freshner. The sweet smell goes away as the car moves leaving a stale smell of smoke in the car. I felt like puking when I was in this kind of cab and I compaint but still experience this unfortunate situation unaware of the smoking driver. At least in Dubai, I was confident and felt safe exploring Dubai. I could take a cab at night and the drivers don't smoke. I was just unfortunate to meet one rude taxi driver but that will not tarnish my good impression of Dubai.
I hope I have another opportunity to visit Dubai again and go to Hatta Mountain, Abu Dhabi and Omen. Insyaallah.