Part time gardener

The garden in my old house looks more presentable now. Spending most of my time there helping taking care of my daughter and my grand daughter gave me the opportunity to work on the neglected garden whenever I have free time. It was hard work, no doubt. Rose, my Menard beautician friend complained that my complexion is darker and so are my arms. I was so focused to rehabilitate the garden that I disregarded the strong sun. Unfortunately, the heat, the tiredness and the lifting of pots presented me with another problem. My body ached and my eye pressure increased. And I sprained my right wrist. It didn't bother me much at first but as the days went by I found it painful even to hold Rania. Initially I thought I might have arthritis but on checking with a doctor at PD Pusat Kesihatan, she suspected it was just a sprain muscles. With some urut, it was OK after 2 weeks.

In spite of aching back, I felt satisfied to see the garden changing face and I spent some time going back and forth to Sg. Buloh buying bags of soils and plants. The gardening became my regular exercise - walking up and down, squatting, digging, pulling, carrying pots, sweeping and repotting my old bougainvillea plants. No wonder I am so tan!









When Rania came home, everything was at a stand still. I found myself indoors gazing and adoring her and at the same time became a cook - what a boring job! Since Ika is breastfeeding her baby, she has to eat good food for the baby. Fortnightly, I would take time off and drove back to PD to check on my plants in the apartment and enjoyed a well-deserved rest.

Being away from Rania is a new experience for me. I seemed to hear her baby cry just anywhere I go and my heartstrings pulled me back to her every time. I just miss her!! I enjoy seeing her development everyday and love kissing her chubby cheeks.







I still have a lot of work on my garden but hope Ika, Justin and Jen will help to maintain it when I am not around - at least watering the plants once a day. I do worry when I am not around whether Ika has time to water my plants. I doubt whether Izrin or Justin would have time or interest to do it. It would make feel so down if I see my garden goes back to be so unkempt like before.

Challenges of being a mom and a grandma

Ika learning how to bathe her baby with a little help.












Everyday I kept looking at Rania, marveling that such a beautiful bundle of joy is actually my grand-daughter. I think Ika is also in shock looking at Rania, not believing that she is actually hers. We examined her facial features and identify which ones look like her and which look like Justin. She complaints that Rania looks more like her father than her whereas she is the one who had to carry her over 9 months. As the days passed, Rania's looks changed too and she is going to change more as she grows. That's the wonder of babies created by God. At 2 weeks old, she has already established her presence in the family.

Since we brought Rania home, Raisa has been very curious, sniffing at her feet and head. Raisa also seemed to demand Ika's attention, wanting to sit on her lap. Ika has been her carer and I think she became possessive. But for gentle Raisa, she didn't turn nasty but just watched as everyone fussed over Rania. My Mok just couldn't care less who Rania is. He is so secured and doesn't even bother to look at her. But for the first time today, Mok showed interest on Rania when she cried. He inched nearer wondering who this noisy creature is. After a while he turned up his nose and sauntered off. That's my Mok. Like Garfiled, his motto is 'Love me, feed me and don't leave me' and he will be a happy cat!

I am worried over my daughter. Since giving birth she threw herself into panick many times, blaming herself for not being able to breastfeed her baby well. She despairs so easily when Rania cries especially in the evening and said many times 'I can't do this'. Her mind works over time worrying over 'what ifs ' especially when she knows that she has to cope by herself when the confinement period is over. I am going back to PD to get back my life and peace and will be back from time to time. No amount of talking eased her mind. That's the reason why parents cannot counsel their children. I tend to tell her what to do and what not to do. So younger sister, Maz, who is devoted to her older sister, gave her a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ears to listen without judgment. Maz cried when she told me that she is worried about Ika's state of mind. Oh God, this oldest daughter of mine is quite emotional. I told her to go out with Justin tomorrow and I'll take care of baby Rania with a reminder that both mom and dad not to call home. Ill call if Ineed them. I hope, she will calm down and realize that her world is not over when she has a baby.

I hope this worrier daughter of mine will be alright soon and enjoy her baby. She will learn how to schedule her time around Rania and balance her life, insyaallah. Ika, I love you and you will manage, I know. You see, you have my blood running in your body!