Bipolar

I am not trained in bipolar disorder. It's the work of psychiatrists but I do understand what bipolar is and have seen it's effect on people. I remember this particular friend of mine's email, complaining about her state of mind. She was feeling depressed and lonely and couldn't understand why she's feeling that way. Suspecting that she was going through menopause, I suggested going to see a doctor. Living overseas alone, I guess, makes it difficult for her to deal with it by herself. I didn't receive any news after that and thought everything is OK. I was wrong.
When she came back to Malaysia to visit her family, she stopped at my house in PJ and told me that she has been diagnosed suffering from bipolar disorder and currently under treatment. In many ways she's lucky working and living in UK where she has access to medical treatment under the National Health System.
Bipolar disorder was formerly known as manic depression and many associate it only as depression. But there is another side of depression, that's the mania behaviour which is not really recognize and being taken seriously. Hipomania is a less severe than mania. Bipolar goes through serious mood swings - from feeling on top of the world (mania) to going right to the bottom of depression. Everybody, some time or other, goes through 'on' and 'off' days but we go back to normal behaviour soon enough. Bipolar individuals suffer these extreme mood swings for days and eventually they form a pattern. Fortunately Bipolar disorder is treatable.
Sometimes bipolar depression can create problem at work and at home. Depression makes the person isolate him/herself, tardy or not turn up at work, feeling lethargic or they stay in bed all day. Unfortunately, bosses, co-workers, friends and family members do not understand that this is a mental health issue and may accuse the individual as lazy. In extreme case, bipolar depression may cause negative thought and action, such as having suicidal thought and attempting to hurt self. A bipolar disorder also can be in mania state ie extreme high mood behaviour and may create negative outcome which are regrettable such as impulsive spending and getting into excessive debt, involved in unprotected sex with multiple partners, taking risky actions, work with no sleep or having excessive happiness and laughter. Usually people pay more attention to depression because the feeling is unpleasant but mania behaviour is dismissed because of the good feeling associated with it even though it is excessive.
Usually bipolar disorder is shown by several symptoms such as disturbed sleep patterns, energy level - very low or very high, alcohol or drug use, sex drive - increased or depleted, self-esteem goes rock bottom and concentration is very poor. There are also triggers for bipolar if they suffer long stress or on mania state at work.
My friend is aware of her illness and she surrounds herself with friends for support. Being a sociable being, she makes friends easily and some are faithful to her, taking care of her when she is ill. Since her 2 daughters are away working, she relies on friends and medical team to get her through. I saw how her neighbour cares for her and helps her to find her ways back to health. When I was with her, I felt tired just looking at her non-stop activities and high energy. She was in her mania mood though not excessive. When we left her, she wrote that she was in depressed mood but later got herself out of it. I was quite concerned and kept in touch. Because of awareness, support group and availability of medical services, she is well taken care of. Malaysia needs this kind of service to help those suffering from mental health issues.

Little progress makes the world

Called Rania this morning. I see progress in her growth. She wouldn't talk when I called her on the phone before, exceptto stare at it in silence, wondering where Nenek's voice came from. My pleasure knows no bound today when she blew kisses through the phone. I wished I could hug her tight there and then. She's talking on the phone now, calling Nenek and babling her nursery rhyme favourites like 'Pok amai-amai' or 'Ba..ba..black sheep.' My little Jantung Pisang is making her mark in the world!
I have another pleasant surprise this morning. Haidi called. I am going to have a grandson in 5 months time. Congratulations Izrin and Haidi and thank you for making me so happy. I pray to Allah that both of you will have good stable marriage and a happy family throughout your life, Aminnn.
Last weekend, as usual the resort was packed with people and parking was a problem. Budin and wife Azizah came to pay me a visit but there was no parking space, so I came down to go out for dinner with them. It's so nice for him to make time to see me. Budin is conducting a course here in PD. I am very proud of him for being so successful in what he is doing. I wish I could be like him but he has his talent, creativity and a unique personality.
Being in the Management Committee of the resort, we met and discussed how to overcome parking problem and over-crowding. The problem occurred due to selfish attitude of owners and guests. For example, one apartment is rented out and is occupied by as many as 10-12 people who come in 3 or 4 cars, thus creating shortage of car parks. In spite of a By-laws limiting one apartment to maximum of 6 people, there is nobody to monitor and enforce the Laws. So, it's free for all!! Well in future soon, one car park will be for one apartment only. We are seeking police help to enforce this decision in case violence erupted by irresponsible people and hope owners will take heed. By then we will have good matured crowd, not like the present time where any Tom, Dick and Harry can stake a claim.
I am praying this plan will go through without a hitch.
There is also great progress in the management of the resort with 2 new owners joined force. They are very assertive and action-oriented people who made the manager move fast. I guess the few of us in the old committee were soft. My many emails of complaints and instructions were often ignored and I couldn't do anything. I was fed-up and wanted to give up. Now I am all geared up to make this place a better place to stay.
I hope soon PLA South will be a good reputable resort and defaulting owners pay up their service charges for us to upgrade the resort and gave it a new coat of paint.

Home Sweet Home

After 3 weeks away from home, I am looking forward to go back and see my 'Jantung Pisang' again. I miss Rania so much and every time I saw little girls her age, image of Rania came to mind. I never realize how powerful my little grand daughter is in my thought.

I spent 3 more days with Eng, Jenu and Jin at Grays, going to Lakeside mall, Grays esplanade and shopping in Grays town which is just a few minutes away. Going for walk at the esplanade was quite an effort as the day was cold and very windy. On top of that we had to be careful while walking on the walking track. It's littered with dogs' poohs. The people here are irresponsible for not picking and throwing away their pets' poohs. It's such a pity that such a serene place became so dirty. Yes, sounds just like in Malaysia where some people are so selfish.








At Eng's flat with Jenu, an 80 year old Pakistani doctor whom Eng is taking care of.














Eng prepared fish fillet for us when we came back from Stratford-Upon-Avon.













Rosehips at Eng's aprtment from which rosehip oil comes from.








Syam, Fa's husband, with Fa, son Mohamad and daughter Aishah came to Eng's flat to pick me up to Luton, their house. This is my last lapse of my UK trip. I am thankful that Fa decided to pick me up instead of me going by train or coach to Luton which would involve dragging my luggage around. Staying 2 days with Fa's family filled me with admiration - her strength and determination to complete her PhD,







and her husband's devotion and sacrifice in taking care of the children and family in spite of his own work. With 6 growing children to take care, that's quite a challenge and time consuming. On top of that, Fa is also taking care of her aging mother who is disabled and dependent on someone's help. Proud to see her and family doing well and happy with well-adjusted children.









Delicious Nasi Lemak cooked by Fa. Hmmmm.... love it after almost 3 weeks starving from rice.

















Fa's mother - learning to adjust to life in a foreign country with only family support.










Fa's youngest son, Abid is 8 months old and and a sheer delight. Chubby and contented, he gets all the attention from his siblings. I love to see him eating, ever ready to receive food or milk and enjoying it. Such an easy baby to look after, he cries only when he is hungry or uncomfortable, not like Rania who is so picky over her food. When I was there, I received SMS from Ika saying Nia was on strike, refusing to eat and she was losing weight. Nia was never a chubby baby but she was firm and sturdy.








Lovable Abid with sister, 3 year old, Aishah.











Because she is tall for her age, she looks skinny. Ika was worried sick. Alhamdullillah, now Nia is eating well. Her mother has to be creative to coax her to eat. She got to choose what nursery rhyme she wants to hear from UTube in Ika's Ipad. Her little finger will touch the song she wants. At 1 1/2 years old, Nia is talking quite clearly and her vocabulary is amazing for her age.














Every morning, she sauntered into my room and says 'Hei Nenek'. 'Nenek sapuu...' following me to the garden as I sweep the fallen leaves in the garden. Conversation with Nia is quite a pleasure. Still calls her father 'Dada" but calls 'daddy' according to her mood.
















While in Luton with Fa's family, we went to Gravely Car Boot sale. Car Boot sale is popular in Uk and other foreign countries but not so in Malaysia. That day (Saturday) was so cold and windy that it spoiled the fun. Aishah and Mohamad had a good look at children books and toys for sale there. I was tempted to buy good children books for Rania but luggage weight limit stopped the temptation.





















Used children books ad toys were cheap and still in very good condition. Aishah was tempted to get something for herself.











All Fa's children speak English with British accent which can be a problem when they come back to Malaysian schools. I hope they don't lose the language and continue speaking it even though friends may tease them. I am so glad that I have this opportunity to know Fa and her family closer as I have the same opportunity with Jamayah in Perth in 2009. May Allah bless them and also those I know from Unimas who are doing their PhDs overseas.
I reached home on 11 Oct 2011 at 11.45 am, took a shower and played with Rania who was elated seeing me. She could explain that 'Nenek go Scotland'. Nia loves her Ba ..ba..black sheep which I bought in Windermere. At 4 pm, the cab came to pick me up to KLIA for my Firefly flight to Kota Kinabalu.
The next day, 12 Oct 2011, after a good night sleep, I delivered my keynote address at the PRS Convention in UMS. Immeditely after, I flew back to KLIA for a much needed rest.







Delivering keynote address at UMS on 12 Oct 2011. Thank you Carrie for the photo.

England - Lichfield, Walsall

An old gruesome story told at Lichfield Market place.













While Mages went to work we drove to Lichfield to sightsee the city. It's an old quaint city, very pretty and clean.







At Lichfield Market place with stories of English philosophers.
















Jin at the entrance of Samuel Johnson museum, Lichfield.






















Lichfield information at the rear of Lichfield Cathedral.












Jin wanted to see the old Cathedral but we didn't know where to park nearest to the Cathedral. After several stops we decided to park for short stay and bought a ticket from a machine. We put the ticket at the dashboard. A kind gentleman showed us the short cut way to the Cathedral.



















At colourful Beacon Park, Lichfield.









We walked around in Lichfield and accidently found Beacon Park which Mages recommended us to go. It was indeed a beautiful park with colourful flowers in full bloom. The sun was out making the park a bright, merry ground where people sat and chat or read.













Many of them, I noticed were senior people who enjoyed it the most. They sat down on benches to read, walk around or just chat with one another.










In the Garden of Remembrance in Beacon Park, opened in 1920.







Like many other lakes that we visited, there were variety of ducks, geese and swans swimming freely in the lakes and nobody steals them. But why can't we, in Malaysia, have ducks, geese and swans in our lakes and let them multiply. I remember when I first visited the lake at Proton City, Tg. Malim, there a number of white ducks swimming happily some with little ducklings but a year later pityfully, I saw only two or three of them were swimming there. What has happened? Maybe somebody has had a duck feast in their homes or somewhere?
Anyway by the time were ready to go back, we found a summon ticket on the windscreen of our car for not displaying the parking ticket. Alamak, mana tiket tu pergi? We were sure we put it there it was nowhere to be seen. So we theorized that it flew out of the car without us realizing it when we slammed the car door shut. It was a windy day. So we had to pay 25 pounds fine. What a waste!!

In the evening, Mages took us to the Arboretum Hatherton Park to enjoy a good walk.


Arboretum Hatherton Lake in Walsall is small but very attractive. The public is allowed to fish at specific points with license. Autumn is playing its role by changing colours of trees around the lake which makes it incredibly beautiful, a favourite season for me.














A place to fish and relax.







People came prepared with bread to feed the hundreds of ducks, swans and geese there who came flocking to get the food. It was a sight that was so delightful.









Staying for a week with Mages gave us opportunity to see many more places nearby like taking a bus to Birmingham. Mages had a full activities for us especially visiting her many friends which later she held a dinner party for her close friends to meet us. Being a good cook, she cooked the dinner all by herself.There was Izzie, her French teacher, Maggie, the psychologist from South Africa, Lenny and Wife Anne who live in a traditional British cottage which we visited earlier. They were a jovial lot.
On 4 October, we left Walsall and bade farewell to Mages with a hope we would meet again when she comes back to Malaysia.






Stratford-Upon-Avon.
This is Shakespeare's old house which becomes a well-known tourist attraction.












The square where Shakespeare's house, museum etc are situated with lots of souvenir shops and restaurants in Stratford-Upon-Avon.












Driving down to Essex, we stopped on the way at Stratford-Upon-Avon, Shakespeare's birth place. I have been there some years back and didn't mind going there again.










Attractive scenery of the river on the way to Shakespeare's house.










I met a grade 2 school children on their school trip. When they saw me taking photos of them, they chorused together "tourist!!". They were quite obedient considering their age and seriously followed their teachers' instruction. I had a short conversation with one of the accompanying teachers. This trip was their class assignment and the kids were having an great time.



We left for Grays, Essex soon after. Eng was waiting anxiously for us. She was concerned about the accident we had at Snowdonia as the insurance company wanted to talk to Jin personally. That guy reported the incident and made a claim to the insurance company. Obviously he was looking for easy money. In Malaysia, we would just say, ' Forget it, not worth claiming, too small.' and that's all there is to it.

North Wales - Conwy and Betsw-y-coed

Saturday 1 oct 2011, with Mages, Jin and Harpal, we went to Conwy to see Conwy Castle and the surrounding area. The four of us are really a mixture of races representing Malaysia though Harpal is really a British citizen - Malay, Chinese, India and Punjabi. Mages drove this time as she
is familiar with the road.




Both Mages and Harpal had prepared picnic baskets for all of us. After 2 hours drive we arrived at Conwy marina and spread out picnic mat to enjoy breakfast on the green grass by the road with Conwy castle as the background.












We chose not to enter the castle proper but went to the castle ground and walked on the castle wall which surrounded the town. I could imagine how the castle guards manned the castle by keeping enemies away. The castle was built as ordered by King Edward 1 of England in 1283. Being high up above the ground, they could see any marauding enemies from the sea as well as from land. The walking path on the wall is quite long, narrow, winding and up and down all the way. Seemed like we were walking on mini Great wall of China.









The whole wall surrounds the town with 8 big circular towers and 4 smaller ones. It's quite a test to weak knees. We were concerned over Mages' troubled knees but she seemed to be OK, resting every now and then.












The bird's eye view from the castle is so amazing which can reach as far as the eye could see because the day was clear and sunny. It's situated near Conwy river estuary which has turned to a marina with tourist boats aplenty.















Conwy surrounding taken from the castle wall.











The sea and the hills protected the castle from enemies during old days. This is one of the best preserved castle in North Wales. Now the town is bustling with tourists.














The colourful backyard of house owners near the castle, taken from castle wall.













Taken from castle wall walk overlooking a pretty garden of a Bed & Breakfast.















The four of us at Conwy castle wall with the marina as background.















After walking the castle wall we walked along Conwy Quay to see the marina, old buildings, restaurants and the main attraction - 'the Smallest House in Great Britain' which can accommodate only 4 people in a tight squeeze but to enter one has to pay a fee of 4 British pounds.

















The Conwy marina taken fron castle wall.








The new town is also bustling with tourists with hotels, shops and restaurant. Jin stopped to shop and I went around to take photos.










The old Edwards building still standing in the town near the castle.
















When everyone has finished we walked toward the car park but none of us remember whici one. So began the long walk looking for the car park. Finally after all feet were tired we found it, with a big sigh of relief.







But our visit didn't stop there. Mages drove us back towards Snowdonia to a town called Betsw-y-Coed. We didin't even know how to say the word which is in Welsh.








Another pretty town in north Wales with pretty scenery - Betws-y-Coed.

































The calm river enjoyed by visitors during sunny days at Betsw-y-Coed.










Our day wasn't complete for Mages who has to stop at her friend's house to deliver muffins freshly baked by her the night before. We went home tired and happy. Thank you Mages for making our stay with you an enjoyable one.

North Wales - Snowdonia

Jin and I planned to stay with Mages in Walsall for 2 days but stayed for a week instead. It was really nice seeing her again. She is working and living there for a few years already and never failed to look me up every time she comes back to Malaysia. So seeing and spending time with her was a treat for me.






Scenic drive to Snowdonia.














Another scenic drive to Snowdonia.








Mages suggested that we drive to Snowdonia, North Wales which she voted as one of the most beautiful places to see. We were not disappointed but the drive there was long through winding road. It took us 3 hours to reach Llanberis but the drive was scenic and awesome with jagged hills, lakes, rivers, farmlands and green open lands. I was bewitched by the scenery and wished I could stay for days.




Unfortunately, when we reached LLanberis ( pronounced as Klanberis), a tiny accident occurred when Jin backed out of a parking area, she banged at a car behind which came suddenly out of nowhere. There was no damage except a tiny winny scratch at the person's car but he was so nasty by insisting we damaged his paintwork. He was such an arrogant white man. That was the first and only time we encountered a nasty person in UK. Eng's tiny car has no dent or scratch at all. Anyway Jin didn't argue but gave him the insurance cover and declined to give her name and address and said we came from Malaysia.
After a long tiring drive, that incident spoiled our day and we had no mood to go around to see the place. We cooled off at Padarn Lake which is so stunningly beautiful to calm our nerve.
After coffee and lunch, we drove down to Llangollen (pronounced as Klangoklen) to see the town but at 5 pm everything was almost dead. Most shops were closed except one or two souvenir shops. Llangollen is another very pretty town near a river.
This is Lake Padarn, Llanberis.








Stunning Lake Padarn in Llanberis.











Llangollen town, quiet after 5pm, even tourists were few to be seen.













A friendly owner of a souvenir shop in Llangollen which was still open after 5pm.















A river runs across Llangollen town making it very scenic and alive with water activities even after 5pm.











Llanwst, another pretty town we came across.















A unique cafe by the roadside near the river at Llanwst covered by poison ivy which are turning red for autumn, on the way back to Walsall.







Though we had quite an upsetting experience, the visit was exciting and satisfying with fantastic beauty of the scenery all the way. By the time we reached Walsall, I counted 22 roundabouts we had to cross which we had to be ready to turn on the right turning. It was quite tiring and boring. Most country roads we passed are narrow with little or no road shoulder. Anyway we reached Walsall safe and sound. Mages has already cooked curry salmon heads and rice. Hmmmm, delicious.