Bakawali

Bunga bakawali plant with 3 half-opened flowers.


















One of the unopened flower bud ready to show off its glory.













The back view of the half-opened bakawali.













The bakawali ready to open up for full bloom.















Full bloom bakawali with gentle sweet smell.








Once upon a time, there was an exceedingly beautiful princess in a far, far away land but nobody was able to see and admire her beauty. Everyone was intrique. She slept all day long and only got up at midnight to enjoy the beauty of darkness for a few hours and then back she went again into her dreamland. It was said she was cursed by an evil Queen who envied her extraordinary beauty and would not allow anyone to see it and cast a spell that she would be asleep all day except a few hours at night.

This is is an old story about Puteri Bakawali - by which this flower plant was named and they share the same characteristics. I have 2 pots of bunga bakawali in PD - one pot white in colour and the other pink. I was intrique too and curious to see how bunga bakawali looks like. It blooms only at night for a few hours and go limp soon after. Very few people have actually see the flowers in full bloom. When I saw my white bakawali plant bears 3 flower buds, I was excited and made a point to see it myself when in bloom. So when I saw the buds were going to open, I took the pot inside the apartment and lay awake, waiting. I learned this from my niece, Chom. True enough, at about 12.30 am, the flower buds opened up and by 1.00 am they were in full bloom. Really, they were magnificent and stunning with gentle sweet smell. I took a lot of photos but unfortunately I am a lousy photographer, my pictures do not do justice to the beauty of the flowers. I felt great and satisfied that finally I was able to see them in their glory. I have missed the pink ones once but I will stay awake the next time when they are in bloom again.

By the next morning all three bakawali flowers have gone limped and closed, waiting for time to drop - so pathetic and unattractive.

Anyway, thank you bakawali, you really exude a mystery.

Eventful 2009 Raya

It was a joyous Raya for me. After morning Aidilfitri prayer at the mosque, a door away from my Kg. Tunku house, we waited for Maz and Hazri and my sister Anah and family to come. Sister Rai and family and Juriah and family called to say they would arrive in the afternoon. So we began the Raya routine asking for forgiveness from the youngest to the eldest and this year, I am the oldest in the gathering. My other older brothers were with their respective families.




Since it was such a long time ago that all of us did the aidilfitri salam routine, we forgot how it was done during my parents' days but we successfully recalled the process. It was not as chaotic and fun as before because the nieces and nephews are grown up and there were not so many around. Of course Kak Nor remembers how it was then and Justin saw just a fraction of the process.




Ika salam raya with her husband, Justin.












Izrin salam raya with his sister,Maz.










Izrin salam raya with brother-in-law, Hazri.












As for me, I cannot express how grateful I am to Allah for having my 3 children and sons-in-law with me this year. In silence I shed tears of happiness and pride that I am given another good year of blessed life. I received a big duit raya (cheque) from Maz and that will go to my traveling. Ika and Justin sponsored all the expenditure and Izrin will have his turn once he has his own family. Thanks, Najidah, for the duit raya too and may you and your siblings have a joyous raya as well.

The second day of Raya, Kak Nor and I drove to Melaka. Unfortunaley Ika couldn't join us as she was not well and needed to rest. Maz and Izrin were in Hazri's car and we grouped at Ani's house in Batu Berendam and met more nieces and nephews. The little grandnieces and nephews were thrilled with the duit raya even though it was just a small amount. At my brother's, Mahir, house in Padang Temu, another kecoh with more relatives. Everyone was thrilled seeing Kak Nor again after such a long time - more than 15 years, as she is still our family member, no matter what. We moved to Fuzian's house in Tanjung Kling (my parents' old house) and visited my father's and my eldest brother's graves there.




At Ani's house in Melaka on 2nd Raya.








This happy occasion was marred by a disgusting incident in the car park of my PD apartment. Parking space was full and I parked at an empty space. I told a Chinese guy there that I would come back in 10 minutes after putting some food in my apartment and he said OK. Suddenly I was yelled at by a gangster-like Chinese guy who scolded and cursed me and said I blocked the way out. I did not! He is really a Chinaman ba******d with no manners and a shame to the country. He should pack up and go back to China where he belong! Kak Nor was shocked at his behaviour and his rudeness and said that's not a Malaysian behaviour that she knew. He had no reason to scold me. Arrogance and impatience and intolerance are the acquired manners of some stupid Malaysians. Though it upset me, both of us laughed and said let him go to hell and I am glad I made him angry. Hope his blood pressure shot up!!

I encountered another event with another arrogance Chinaman at the car park. One stupid Chinaman reversed his car without looking and banged on the side of my car and refused to pay RM100 I demanded. He said he has to paint his 4 wheel drive but it was a mere scratch while my car was dented. He just gave me RM60.00 and I was foolish enough to take it. When I went to make a police report, the policeman said I shouldn't take the money as taking the money means I agree to settle. What infuriated me was he blamed me instead and never said sorry. So I learn, If I want to make a police report, do not take the money and go straight to police station and make a report and he would get a Rm300 fine. Wow, this is the intricacy of dealing with minor car accidents that I have to know. So Kak Nor and I discussed and decided not to lodge the report. These incidents just spoiled my day. Other than this, it was a happy day.





Razali and family spent 4th Raya with me at PD. Thank you Razali for thinking of me.












With Rose, Razali's wife, kak Nor and Nuera, Razali's daughter at PD aprtment.








On 3rd Raya, 22nd Sept 09, I went back to PD after doing the usual round in Melaka. The next day Haidi's parents and siblings came for Raya followed by Razali's family, on 23rd Sept 2009 in the afternoon. It was really wonderful seeing him, wife, Rose and the children. Well, they have not forgotten their Nek Zu.


Thank you Ika, Justin, Maz, Hazri and Izrin for making me a very happy parent for this Raya. May Allah bless all of you and pray we'll spend more rayas together. Thank you Kak Nor for deciding to spend your Raya with us in Malaysia and hope you have a good trip back to Adelaide.

Aidilfitri Eve

This year I decided to celebrate my Hari Raya in my old house in Kg. Tunku, Petaling Jaya. The house has been closed for Raya celebration about 10 years. My children flew to Kuching to be with me for Raya when I was there and there was one year when Ika was the only one who could make it. So, immediately after Aidilfitri prayer at the mosque, we drove to Sri Aman and then to ..........................(oh gosh, I forgot the name of the town). We stayed overnight there and the next morning we took a boat ride to Tanjung Manis for a day. Dr. Napsiah's brother-in-law and wife were our hosts and we got to experience the Melanau Muslims celebrating Aidilfitri. Ika and I just loved the colourful houses (reminded me of the Malay Quarters in Cape Town) with flowering gardens,

So this year my sister-in-law (ex) is coming from Adelaide to celebrate Raya with us and she wanted to meet family members, so I decided to have her with me in Kg. Tunku. I told Kak Nor that Raya without my parents are so different - not as fun and kecoh as before when everybody met in my parents' house. First come first serve - whoever arrived early got to sleep in the 3 rooms available, the rest camped at the sitting room area. There were so many of us! The children had fun playing bunga api and collected duit raya from the uncles and the aunties. Those were the days!

Ika and Justin are playing hosts now. We prepared some snacks for the group tp come for takbir on Raya night. It was lucky the rain stopped. Justin played quite an active role in helping for the preparation. At about 9 pm the group arrived and I met a number of neighbours whom I have not met for quite some time. Unfortunately the session was a swift one as they have many more houses to visit on our stretch of road. By the time they arrived at the last house, I bet everyone will be full. So I told Ika to remember not to buy so much food next year. I was happy we opened our house this year. Justin has the experience of how we celebrated Raya eve but Kak Nor missed it as she arrived late.

Tomorrow on Raya day, we decided to stay home for Kak Nor to rest and for my brothers and sisters to come and visit - mostly to meet Kak Nor again after so many years. We still love her and consider her our family and she still has good and friendly relationship with my brother, Ariffin. I hope my nephews, Shah and Razali will be able to come back to visit Malaysia again one day and see the places they used to live.

It's going to be a good Aidilfitri for us.

Poor and neglected

Last Saturday, I went back to Chengkau, Rembau to see my cousin, Jaafar, with a purpose to pay my zakat for this year. I have forgotten that he is eligble to receive zakat. I paid zakat every year before for the purpose of income tax but now I don't have income tax to account for, I have a poor cousin who deserves it. I have some guilt feeling actually for ignoring this side of my family. They are poor and have been poor the whole of their life. They have so many cousins and uncles who are so well-off but none bothered to give a helping hand. I feel sorry that I wasn't a good niece to my aunt when she was alive. I hardly went back to my kampung to see how they were - too busy with my comfortable city life. I just wish I was kinder and paid more attention to the plight of unfortunate relatives. I would like my children and whoever read this blog to nurture a drop of understanding, sympathy, kindness and a charitable heart to help the unfortunate especially if they are relatives. I just hope I have enough time to make up for my arrogance.

In our conversation, my cousin Cham (Jaafar's younger sister) recounted her disappointment that Jaafar's request for a PPRT house ( for the very poor people) was not granted and she didn't understand why. Cham is a single parent and the only sibling who cares for Jaafar. He is 62 years old, lives alone, with one blind eye and the other is loosing sight fast and has mental disability. I suspect he is a schizo ( according to DSM1v) but has never been treated or diagnosed. The house he is living now is really dilapidated and when it rains he has to scuttle to find a place where there is no leak and dry. It's white-ants infested and can collapse at any time. I am not exaggerating and wondered why I didn't see all this before. I suppose I didn't care.

I really felt guilty and sad in my heart that I didn't have this awareness earlier. I didn't know about Cham's disappointment until she told me that Saturday. There were so many questions that I need to clarify with the authority and I wasted no to time in asking Cham to take me to see the Ketua Kampung. It was a disaster. I was furious to see his attitude. Ketua Kampung is supposed to care for the anak buah in the kampung but when I had response something like " I have done my duty to get him the Social Welfare aid, that's my job. Getting him a PPRT house is not my duty. I don't want susah-susah do work that's not my duty.' I was losing my temper but able to keep calm and asked for the phone number of the Wakil Rakyat there.

I sms the Wakil Rakyat briefly about my cousin's case and insisted I wanted to see him personally, no matter where and when. Finally he asked me to come on Monday at 11 am. Hei, I am free now - any time and anywhere I'll' be there as I need some answers. I was ready to track him even to the end of the earth if he gives excuses. I even planned to camp at his office all day. But alhamdullilah, on Monday we met, 45 minutes later than the appointed time.

The ADUN Kota is an action man and immediately used his machinery to get more details. I presented my cousion's case with photographs and he promised to see this case which he was not aware of. I couldn't get to the bottom of the problem of where all Jaafar's application forms have gone, who sent, when etc. He just told me that now he knows the case he will do something about it and doesn't want to blame anybody. It's fine with me but I want to see the outcome and when action will be taken - that's important. Cham said the government lied to people to help but I told her it's not the government but the people who are supposed to do the job cannot be trusted. Imagine, Jaafar's personal details weren't there but a hoax number of reference - no interview was done, no particulars were collected and numbers registered were wrong. I was disgusted. This is tantamount to penipuan and penganiayaan.

I spent more than an hour chatting with the Wakil Rakyat, sharing his experience and frustration. From the interaction, I think he is a caring Wakil Rakyat but his people down there need to develop some conscience and really do their job. Being a medical doctor, he can do better at his clinic but taking this job is a big responsibility. I wish him the best and hope he will follow through this case and other cases that are neglected by his people. I will definitely follow through Jaafar's case until I am happy with the outcome.

I told Cham, being poor doesn't mean you're small but there's need to build courage and confidence to get your right. I am teaching her to assert herself and not just 'sabar'. Being 'sabar' is a virtue but not a misplaced 'sabar' - you get walked all over you.

Travel cheap

Sharipah and I are two seniors who cannot stay put at home for long period of time. Usually our itchy feet will make us plan where to go next. Sharipah has 2 grandchildren who stay with their mother and I, not a grandma yet but hope to be one soon. Being single parents we are free to do and go as we please with clear conscience. Sharipah has traveled a lot more and visited most places in the world but the world is so huge that we find we have covered just a little fraction of it. I have a big world map pinned on my room wall with pins stuck indicating where I have been but it was just like a drop in the ocean. Even in Malaysia, there are still so many places we have not been and would like to visit all if possible. How nice to be Ian Wright, Samantha Brown, Asha Gill, Toby Amies and other travel hosts in TV - work and get to see places.

We are retired with a small pension and no fixed income but dream big to see the world before the world leaves us. Friends used to ask me, of all countries I have visited which one I like best. I have no answer to that question because every place and every country has its own uniqueness but some places I have no desire to go again. So in order to travel, we have to choose to travel cheap and wait for offers and discounted air tickets.

I prefer traveling by MAS or Firefly now. I avoid traveling by Air Asia. My last trip by Air Asia was in June for work to Singapore and ticket was bought by the company. I find MAS and Firefly offer better rate. When we went to Kota Kinabalu last July, we paid RM680.00 for two return with meals and 20 kg of luggage, compared to RM704.00 with no meals and 15kg of luggage by Air Asia. On top of that, going to LCT is so inconvenienced even though there is cheap bus there which takes an hour to reach. So you have to leave much early. Whereas by MAS to KLIA, you can check in luggage at Sentral and go by ERL or transit train there for 30 minutes in comfort. Just be aware of hidden cost by Air Asia. Traveling by Firefly is convenience too for me as the terminal is in Subang which is about 20 minutes from my PJ house. I remember my friend, Jin, who was angry for buying offer ticket from Air Asia to London because of the advertisement and later found out MAS offered much lower price. So always check internet for fare comparison, convenience and comfort.

Before MAS and Firefly offer cheap tickets, I had no choice but to travel by Air Asia. I used to hate it. People rushed and pushed to board the plane first and you have to pay for express ticket to be boarded ahead of others - so chaotic. It's a relief that there is competition now. For senior citizens like us, it matters that we get the cheapest tickets, convenience and meals on board. We can't afford to be jostled and pushed by energetic young thoughtless people.

We are going to Lake Toba in October with Firfly Holiday package - so much cheaper. I would like to see whether there is any difference now and 30 years ago when I first went there. We will use masks and hope for the best.

Book Writing

Last week, I met a counselling teacher whom I wasn't familiar, at Nilai Giant. He recognized and acknowledged me and we stood a while to chat. My poor memory was at rest and I promptly forgot his name. In our conversation he wanted to know what I was doing now and of course my standard response to such question was RTM - Rehat, Tidur, Makan. He didn't believe me. So I told him I am back writing a book. He was interested and quizzed me on how to write. Since he was eager to know, I gave him a short lecture on the process of writing a book - in 5 minutes!! I hope he understood what I was saying. Anyway, I have received the same question over and over again and I want to share with you my method on writing a book.

First, please be aware that I have never attended any course or workshop on book writing - academic or creative. But I have read a few articles on the subject. What I have is a deep interest to share my knowledge and experience, in writing. I started writing short articles in newspapers, magazines and office bulletins in 1983 and some people persuaded me to write more. That helped me to gain confidence especially when my bosses complimented on my articles. Wah....kembang!!

In a nutshell this is how I write.
1. Idea stage - I have an idea in my mind on the subject to write. I know, once I have that idea, I need to fertilize it, otherwise it will occupy my mind which makes me uneasy until I sit down to write it.
2. Fertilization process - I read and read and think and think, and research and research. I sleep, eat, ponder and dream with the idea. Whatever materials I found, I'll print, photocopy or buy and stuff them in a file which I called 'Fertilization File'. I do a lot of library and internet research.
3. Reading process - I began to read the old and new materials which I have collected and jotting down important points. They are in huge jumble and can be mind-boggling but I don't care.
4. Writing process - This is a tough part. Sometimes I got stuck here on how to begin and what to write or my mood just abandoned me. So, I have to motivate myself in my own way especially by writing down my time-limit goal. I employ a free-flow style.
First stage -I just write whatever comes in my mind based on my reading, research and my experience. I don't sanction my writing - it's mine and mine alone, so why bother what's right, what's wrong? At this stage there was no sections or chapters and I kept on writing and adding more relevant information and ideas until I am satisfied. I don't care about language, spelling, punctuations or appropriate words yet, writing everything down is my focus. I make sure I write down my references first in case I lose or forget it.
Second stage - Rereading the product and from here I got the idea of chapters, topics and contents. So the process of cut and paste for the right chapters begins. At the same time, more reading and researching and more information will surface. At this stage, I usually suffer from sudden ideas surfacing at any time of the day or night. I will get up and jot it down or less I'll forget the next day. I will stop by the roadside if I am driving to jot down the ideas that come at that moment. I will stop eating and jot ideas in my notebook which is always with me. It's like a fever! I dream my book.
Third stage - writing proper chapters. I begin the process of editing where I pay attention not only to contents but also to appropriate words and terms, the language, spelling and structure. Sometimes I am so focused on the book, I am not able to sleep until I am satisfied and happy with the days' work. Usually I go to sleep at the wee hours in the morning.
Fourth stage - exhaustion. So the book goes into hibernation for a while until I pick up stamina to look at it again and this time it is a non-stop train journey. I'll work to improve on it until I am satisfied. More additional information is added, more changes which provide better structure and more relax as I see my product.
Fifth stage presenting the book to the publisher for the editors to go through and answer queries from them. I make adjustments through their suggestions. AND a sigh of relief, it's over. I just wait for the publication to be out. It takes quite some time to reach this level.
Sounds easy, isn't it? So no big deal, anyone can do it if she/ he puts heart and soul into it. You need very little, mainly interest, dedication, focus, knowledge and a huge dose of self-confidence and believe in yourself.

Life is difficult if you make it so.
The eyes catch the beauty of God's creation but the heart catches the beauty of the soul.

Quiet Time

I suppose H1N1 and economic slowdown are a blessing in our lives. I find situation is so peaceful and unhurried but I don't know actually how it was like in KL. Last year, Ramadhan offered so many Berbuka Puasa package at hotels and resorts in PD and there were people everywhere. Thank God, it was different this year. I don't see advertisements enticing visitors for sumptious spread of Berbuka Puasa to Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Shopping complexes in Seremban were not as busy though there were sales attractions almost in every shop. I had a leisurely time shopping at Parkson in Seremban looking for my toilet accessories. How nice if this becomes common practice among us, thrifty in our spending. I just hope the Malays learn to change their habit by not being extravagence during Raya as Islam doesn't encourage this practice.

My book project with Najidah is completed finally and I am in the process of looking for a different publisher, intead of my usual one. I just want to see what other publishers can offer. To my former students and collegues who are interested to learn to write a book, I am always here, willing to help. I don't have favaurite people but if anyone wants to write you have to be focused, worked on it with no excuses and follow my lead. Now I have other projects in mind and looking for interested ex-students and friends to be involved. But please be advised, you don't get rich by writing academic books here but you will experience self-satisfaction and pride. Syok sendiri is good in this respect!

Since program PERASA was intoduced by Shahabudin, I have been advising him to produce a book on his program. He was fully aware that a lot people lifted his work without acknowledging him and claimed it as theirs. This is our problem - plagarism. We have a screwed idea that acknowledging the sources of reference is a sign of weakness especially if the source is local. I also have seen my work lifted but my name wasn't mentioned. This misplaced idea should be banished from our mind. In actual fact acknowledging the source of the materials means we are prefessional, honest and have self-confidence - something to be proud of. I am still waiting for Shahabudin to start writing as I have promised to help but not to write it. He has to do the work himself.

The Berbuka Puasa stalls are less this year in PD and I see less people buying - bad for business but good for the people. So far I bought food for berbuka puasa 4 times, prefering to do simple cooking at home. If I go out to buy I make sure I go early before the food is laid out, open to dust and flies. The resort is quiet most of the time, less people coming on weekends and less drunkards around. I wish the resort has the power to ban people consuming alcohol in the premise.

I am still looking for a place with complete peace. Wonder whether such place exists in this world.