Weddings

My newly wed niece, Siti Khadijah and husband. My younger sister, Zurainah and son, Zaki.

Usually, school holidays mean weddings, one after another. I missed my niece's wedding on 11 Oct 08 because I was teaching in Kuching. I haven't met Siti Khadijah's new husband but got the opportunity on Saturday when I attended my other niece's wedding in Malacca. I spent my childhood in Malacca, schooling in Methodist Girls School and High School Malacca, yet now I got lost looking for my brother's house in Padang Temu. Malacca has changed so much that I plan to be a tourist and explore Malacca one day. It was Yanti's wedding, my brother Ahmad Mahir's youngest daughter. Ika and Justin came along and they also lost their way. Maz is in London for work and Izrin is working. Both Maz and Izrin were not able to be there. Below are some pictures of Yanti's wedding.

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I drove to Malacca with my first cousin, Abang Mat and Kak Maznah, his wife. They live in PD not far from my apartment. I was happy that his daughter, Achi and her husband, Adnan and their son joined us. I have not met them before but was glad they made an effort to meet their relatives whom they have not met before. Poor Justin, the only mat salleh and he got all the attention but he seemed to enjoy the attention bestowed on him. His height is another focus of attention but he is secured enough not to feel ill at ease.

Just like any other weddings and gatherings, when all sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews and cousins gathered, it became one big party. We were so focused on exchanging news with one another, we forgot about other guests.

Below are pictures of Dewi's wedding.

On 08 November 08, I attended my nephew's daughter's wedding at Bukit Serampang, Tangkak. I have never met Dewi, the bride. Atan's children were young when I visited him and Sapiah some years back. I remember how Atan toiled on the land, planting rubber and palm oil, doing it alone with some workers' help. He was the only family member who took care of their family land and he deserved to reap the rewards now. I hope Chom will remember this and aware that brothers are the ones who will help and take responsibility if you are in trouble. Think of the consequences years ahead of time and make amend now before it is too late. My sister, Zawiyah, expressed her sadness to me and effort should be made to repair the rift. I know how it feels for I have experienced drifting away from my brothers too but I found that no matter what, I am their sister and they were behind me all the way when I faced trouble.

To all the newly weds, all the best to you. May you have a happy life together to eternity.

Introducing my siblings 2

He was the gentlest and the good-looking member of the family. This second brother of mine is an angel who doesn't know how to get angry and always has a smile. He warked in Radio Malaysia before he retired and lived in Subang Jaya but later relocating to Batang Tiga, Melaka with his family.

Bang Pudin married young after he finished his Senior Cambridge and worked a while.

His marrieage was not a match-making process for he met and fell in love with a school girl, Maimon. It was taboo to establish any kind of relationship with the opposite sex at that time. So he asked my mother to see her family for her hand. She was about 15 years old. They got married and had 6 children. She had to quit school to be a wife - at an age when girls still play with little dolls.

I was not able to acess my memory about my relationship with him as a child because of the age different. I remember I used to spend my time visiting him when he lived in Kuantan and Segamat. They had an oldest son, Saiful Akbar, our first nephew and my mother's first grandchild. Saiful was such a beautiful, fair and chubby baby that everyone would fight to hold him. We used to take him back to Tg. Kling for a few days and spoilt him rotten. To us, Saiful was the angel God sent. All the uncles and unties just doted on him. It must be hard for my brother and sister-in-law to let people take away their first child even for a few days but we didn't understand then. We thought it was our right!

Being an obedient son, I remember him being so gentle with my father and mother and never talked back, even if he was scolded or my parents showed their displeasure towards his action or bahaviour. I know my mother had a soft spot for him. But he was matched with a stronger personality and always at the back and call of Kak Mon. To me, Bang Pudin is a very patient and tolerant man to the extend that his ideas and decision are voiced through his wife's mouth.

The attention given to Saiful eased a little bit when he got two other brothers, Kahar and Ari, who were just as fair, chubby and adorable as Saiful was. I used to cuddle Ari and carried Kahar around when I visited them in Segamat and Kuantan. These nephews of mine were such a delight but I didn't remember much of my nieces, Ani and Yah and another nephew, Anuar as at that time I was already busy with my life at University Malaya.

They had a nice house by the sea at Batang Tiga, Melaka, next to Kak Mon's heritage house which belonged to her mother. Unfortunately they decided to sell the house and I didn't know about the heritage house which housed old traditinal design and knick-knacks. The last time I found out, it was left unattended and was in ruin. It's such a pity that our Malay heritage was not really valued and has lost our culture by modern influence.

I was married on June 15, 1968 at their old rented house in Kg. Melayu, Petaling Jaya, in a very simple ceremony. Since Bang Pudin was the only married brother who lived in KL/PJ at that time, the responsibility to hold the ceremony fell on his shoulder. I was doing my Diploma in Education at that time at Universitry Malaya. It was a 'Nikah Gantung' ceremony and the actual bersanding was postponed until I completed my Diploma and reported for duty the next year. The ceremony was held at my old house no. 3735C, Tg. Kling, Melaka on 2 July 1969 which was more for the villagers than anything else. Zubaidah Abdul Rahman and Rosenah Ahmad, my old faithful friends from university days came to become my bridesmaids. Thank you Bang Pudin and Kak Mon for making the ceremony possible for me. I supposed at that time time, they had no choice but to accept the responsibility. We took it fot granted without even consulting them whether it was OK. It was just part of our culture that the oldest member of the family take responsibility more than the others. Come to think of that, I feel sorry that they were not given the choice to say No.

As my brother was such an angel, he valued peace and harmony in his marriage. When my mother was sick and was hospitalised at Malacca General Hospital, again he took the responsibility to take care of her and took her to his house to recouperate. He was the one who cleaned, bathed and fed her but after about 3 days my sister-in-law insisited that she should be sent back to her own house in Tg. Kling which is about 15 kilometers away alone. It saddened and pained my heart when my mother in her little way recounted how my brother shed tears when he took her back to her house as she had not fully recovered yet. He faithfully cycled everyday to see my mother to clean, bathe and feed her and returned to his house in the evening. I know my mother had never healed from the hurt of her daughter-in-law's treatment of her. At one time, when I was taking her back to PJ to my house in my family van and I stopped at my brother's house, she simply refused to get down and insisted to sit in the van even though it was hot. No matter how much I, my brother and my sister-in-law coaxed her to come down, she didn't budge. She was really hurt. She never talked about it after that. When she was sick at that time, all her daughters were in KL and didn't know the extend of her illness.

My younger sister, Anah, later insisted taking her back to her house in PJ, when she fell unconscious alone in her old house again. She stayed with Anah for about 6 years but passed away in my house. Thank you Anah for taking care of mother and thank you Kamaruddin for being such an understanding son-in-law and took care of her as well. I know it was hard to take care of old people for it tested your patience. May God bless you both.

That's my brother, Ahmad Saifuddin Abdul Rahman and still as gentle and patient as before. I just hope his children will be kind to him and Kak Mon in their old age and take care of them as they should. I believe children will treat you as you treat your parents.

Bang Pudin, I love you as you can calm me down when I am in anger.

Picture taken in May 1968 in my graduation robe with my mother, Saiful (left) Yah, Ani and Kahar.

Introducing my siblings

Ahmad Taufik as a child

This photo was taken in 1959 when I was in form 2 at Methodist Girls School, Malacca

When my father passed away 2 days after I returned from US, before his burial, I remember my whole body turned jelly and I crumbled down crying. I felty my body disintegrate into nothing, I was in the dark. I heard voices consoling me but that was far awayyyyyy. Then I underdstood what grief is, what loss of one you love means and what pain of regret is.... It happened a long time ago but the memory was still fresh in my mind even though my grief was over a long time ago.

This is how I understood what my mother went through when my eldest brother, Ahmad Taufik Abdul Rahman, passed away in 1962. I was young and self-centred. I was sitting for my Senior Cambridge Examination that year. I didn't understand why my mother suffered so much. After all he was dead, wasn't he? When he was proclaimed dead, I saw my mother lost her consciousness at the steps of our old house in Tg. Kling. She just returned from finding a cure for him. She went to see a bomoh to get some air jampi for her first born, hoping he would be cured. That was mother's love, who never gave up hope that her child would be OK. You see, my brother died of brain tumour. My mother suffered depression and grief after that and nobody understood her. She suffered alone. Thank God, she had 9 other children which helped her to recover.

At that time medical knowledge and expertise were not easily available in Malaysian hospitals. A year before he died, he has undergone surgery to remove the tumour In Kuala Lumpur general Hospital. It was fortunate at the time he was hospitalised, a foreign visiting specialist was there and immediately diagnosed and operated on him. After a successful operation he was brought back to Malacca Hospital. To my mother's delight, for a while he was OK, then the relapse started. She tried so many different ways to find a cure him. You just had to say that some bomoh or dukun can help cure him, she would take all effort to find the person. Now, having children of my own I understood fully what mother's love is.

As her first born, I know my mother had special love for him. My brother, Taufik, was a loving son but I remember he also caused some heartaches. I didn't remember much about him actually. I remember him as a brother who loved to go to the nearby forest reserve at Sungai Udang looking for pucuk cemperai. I loved pucuk cemperai, cooked in coconut milk - can't find it anymore now. He also showed strange behaviour, not knowing he was sick. One vivid memory in my mind was because of his strange behaviour, he was scolded by my parents. He was hurt and disappeared from the house. When night came, my parents were in panick looking for him. Together with the neighbours, they combed the seaside which is near my house, fearing the worst. My mother cried her heart out and kept calling 'Topek...Topek... where are you?' Then, to everyone's surprise, we heard a distant ' Yeeeeee ' way up on a tree near my house. My brother expressed his hurt by climbing up that tree, hiding and crying silently.

He worked in Johor Bahru for a while and stayed with my oldest sister, Zawiyah. Then he moved to Segamat, working in a rubber estate where he met his wife, Kak Timah. They married on April 20, 1960. I have lost touch with her as she remarried not long after my brother passed away. They had no children. I remember him as a loving brother who cared for my study and always checked and asked what I was studying when I was at the study table. He used to cycle around the village, peeping at girls and sometimes became inbalanced and fell down. The villagers thought he was mad. He staggered when he walked and they thought he was drunk. They talked bad about him which angered me. I became his tounge-slashing defender. The villagers feared my tounge more than my parents. When he was diagnosed sick, then everyone understood and stopped persecuting him.

This old photo showed my deceased brother, Ahmad Taufik as a young child (left). Right is my second brother, Ahmad Saifuddin with oldest sister, Zawiyah, holding third brother, Ahmad Fuad.

That's my oldest brother. May Allah cucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Alfatihah.

Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya

Old photo of 1992 with 2nd batch of counselling teachers attending the kursus Kejurulatihan Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya at IAB.

Being acknowledged as the Founder of Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya (PRS) program in Malaysia is an honour I cherish. I am proud of this small contribution to the development of counselling in our country. I am being called again to give a talk on the development of PRS and its future on 27 November 2008 in Gold Coast Hotel in Klang, Selangor by the Ministry of Education. This keeps me busy researching and preparing the slides. I have just delivered a paper for Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam (JPA) in Putrajaya on 13 november 2008 about mentoring by peer helpers (PRS is known as AKRAM) of JPA.

Beside this I was also involved in conducting hypnosis session and being the examiner of hypnotherapy practical eaxaminations with LCCH (Malaysia). As a retiree, these activities keep me busy and have no time to feel bored. My friend, Sharipah, called to say that she is bored to tears. She can do a lot of activities actually in Kuantan, especially voluntary work but so far she isn't keen. Beside being involved in Wanita UMNO, I hope she will find something or some motivation to keep away her boredom. Boredom can lead to depression, an unhealthy mental situation.

Sharipah has vast experience as a Principal of a very challenging school in Kuala Lumpur and she had managed to turn it around. That's something great that can be shared with the younger generation by writing down her managing skills and experiences. I have been trying to persuade her to do so but I am not successful. I guess if she is willing to learn how to use the computer to make her work easier, it won't be so tedious. To me, it was such a pity when experiences like that are not shared with others. People, especially the young principals, can learn from her experiences.

Preparing the talks took some effort. I have to travel back and forth to my old house in PJ to get books and materials for references. I can't keep my books here in my apartment as I have limited space. Though talking about PRS is like kacang (some peole say) I have forgotten some facts and dates. I remember when I was transfered from IAB, I have handed all the materials about my courses such as the Kursus Asas Guru Besar 2, Transactional Analysis, Kursus Kejurulatihan Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya, Kursus Guru Besar Sekolah-sekolah Kecil dll, including some photographs, to IAB Library. I wonder whether they are still there. Some I have given to Pusat Dokumentasi at Bahagian Penyelidikan, Kementerian Pendidikan. I need to make time to visit these places and see for myself.

I met a former colleague in IAB at a wedding in Salak Tinggi the other day. That brought back my memory the time when I was introducing and training counselling teachers for PRS program. He and his gang were quite cynical of my program. In fact, words went around to say that my course was low class because I was dealing with school children while theirs were dealing with high ranking officers! They forgot, without the school children, there wouldn't be officers. Ridicules were thrown around even making jokes of it in his ceramah at the surau. I remember how the counselling teachers were furious when they told me about it. I was upset too - ridicules did not only came from him but also from friends in counselling whom I know. I was grateful for all the support that Dr. Mat Saat Baki, Dr Halim Othman and Assoc. Prof Yusnus Nor (allahyarham) for supporting and believing in me. What erked me most was that while preaching sincerity and commitment in management by citing verses from the Quran, he was one bad example. Being a strong kuncu of Anuar Ibrahim (Minister of Education then), nobody seemed dare enough to say or do anything. I was really disgusted!

But that was past. Being me, I didn't bother much about what people say, it's their problem and their opinions were not important to me. I went on doing what I believed the right thing to do. I didn't have much time to bother about what people did or said as I was busy doing my own things. Refering to Rotter's Locus of Control theory, my Locus of Control was very much internal. I didn't depend on other people's evaluation of me to make me feel good and though my confidence was shaken at some point I bounced back unscathed. Because of that I was labelled as stubborn, hard-headed, arrogant and incorrigible. Didn't bother me a bit - it's their pain, not mine!

When I was interviewed and asked about the history of PRS, I realised that I have to research the facts and put it in writing so that there won't be confusion when I was not around anymore. So another project in mind now is to trace the events in my memory backed by written documents. I wonder whether anybody is interested to help me? I am calling the counselling teachers, the counsellors, my ex-students who love to research and write to take this challenge and document it while my memory is still intact. My time is numbered, you know.

I know a few counsellors have done academic research for their Master's and PhD degrees on PRS. Why aren't there any sharing of the findings? Why aren't there any new books written about PRS, its progress and new approaches. I believe as time moved, strategies and approaches should be adapted to the present need. My time was different - there was no such thing as cyber, dunia tanpa sempadan, computer literacy etc. Please write and publish!!!!

Confidence is belief in yourself.

3 generations together

The first batch od Dilploma students in Clinical Hypnosis at Universiti Malaya Medical Faculty conducted by London College of Clinical Hypnosis. Photo taken together with Tan Sri Mahadevan (3rd right), our lecturer, Krista Mackinnon (middle) and Sheila Menon, LCCH the Principal (3rd left).

These last 2 weekends, I was busy being the examiner for practical exam for certificate and diploma courses in Clinical Hypnosis by London College of Clinical Hypnosis (Malaysia) at Universiti Malaya. I recalled the time I was a student being examined for the skills in conducting hypnosis sessions. Being a counsellor and teaching counselling was an advantage to me. Though stressful, it was quite fun actually. So,

I could imagine the stress the candidates went through. Some are doing so well but of course some need more practice. This is where ethic applies. Though it was difficult to assess people you know, the assessment has to be objective. I wish them all good luck.

I am a qualified clinical hypnotherapist as well as a counsellor. I find sometimes my counselling sessions were more effective if hypnosis is used but depends on the issue presented. Some clients don't want to talk at length about their problems and would like to focus on the issue. This is where hypnosis is helpful. For people who are in highly stressful jobs and there is the need to make quick decision, hypnosis is more appropriate. However as I am more comfortable delivering the session in English, delivering it in Malay is still a struggle. But I am doing OK and will improve as I go along.

I am thankful for LCCH for bringing clinical hypnosis in a very structured way to Malaysia. There are proper training, supervision, examinations (practical and written) with proper marking done by practicing hypnotherapists in England. The lectures who are having their own practices in UK and other countries like Portugal, came down to Malaysia specially to teach and conduct sessions during our class. Thank you to Peter Mabutt who were with us most of the time and he is the Director of Studies, UK. Special thanks to Sheila Menon who has the initiative to start this program when she returned after several years living in UK. LCCH has spread its wing to east Malaysia, Sinagapore and Brunei. The photo shows from left is Peter Mabutt, Dr Shahren (the Dean of Faculty Connitive Sciences and Human Development in Unimas) Sheila Menon and me at Unimas.

What I am about to talk is how 3 generations of individuals came together in a class. I wrote about how my relationship with Wan Radziah Ebling of Salt Lake City, changed from student- teacher relationship to friend to friend relationship. This is what happened in my hypnosis class. I met Associate Professor Dr Sarojini Menon who was my lecturer during my teaching Diploma course in Universiti Malaya. Of course she didn't remember me which is normal. There were so many students then and I took only one course from her. Regardless, I refereshed her memory of the 1968 events in UM. I marvel at this senior lady who is in her late 70s who was trained in guidance and counselling but still interested and committed to acquire more knowledge. So, I wasn't the oldest one in class though I come second! We reestablish our relationship and became checking mates for our sessions and role in LCCH. I enjoy interacting with her. Believe me, Saro is still the meticulous person and so systematic in her work. Above all, she has excellent memory - a shame to me who is so forgetful. So that is 2 generations coming together.

UMS counselling students when I was teaching them in 2000. Alex sitting behind me.

I was quite surprised to see Alex Ng in class. Alex was the clinical psychologist in Hospital Kuala Lumpur then and we met again when I was supervising Unimas student at HKL. He came looking for me when he heard I was there. That was a pleasure meeting old student. Alex was my student when I was teaching part-time in group counselling in Universiti Malaysia Sabah (UMS) in 2000. I remember him well enough. Since Sabah students found it difficult to get my books, Alex became the agent who sold my books and enjoyed some pocket money out of it. His initiative increased the sale of the books and I am sure the publisher liked it a lot. Being a counsellor and a clinical psychologist, Alex was confident, in fact, I get help sometimes from him when I got stuck. So there were 3 generations of individuals meeting again as students in one class. How lucky can I be? Photo below was taken in 2007 at UM with Dr. Ana Zohrabian from UK, one of our lecturers.

I used group hypnosis to my students before they took their examinations so that they became more relaxed and able to focus. Some requested I did it regularly. Though it would be good but it was not appropriate as they have different issues to deal with. Anyway, it was a good experience for them and I hope it would increase their interest to acquire more skills.

Peter Mabutt put me in a trance using a technique he lectured in. I remember answering the questions he asked loudly but after waking up, the class said they hardly heard what I said. That was real trance and when awoke I was feeling good and fresh. We were taught different techniques and approaches in dealing with different issues brought by the partients. When under training I found it quite overwhelming but with practice it became easier.

I had a little exposure about hypnosis, way back in 1980s when I was in US but never tried or practiced it. Little knowledge is very dangerous. I was appalled when I found out there are some people who claimed themselves as hypnotherapists after being trained for a week or so. We have no regulating body to control this. It is frightening. I hope the public will be more careful and made sure the hypnotherapist they choose to see is a qualified one. Because of money, ethic is thrown aside, so be careful. There are people who are greedy and will take advantage of the guallible ones. This is just like counselling before. Anybody who underwent training for a week or so claimed themselves as counsellors. Thank God we have Lembaga Counsellor now, at least thing has improved a little bit.

So Alex, all the best in your new job at Subang Medical Centre. Saro, we will work together again helping LCCH Malaysia and good luck to those who are takling examinations. I must work on the ethics for hypnotherapy as I promised Sheila.

My small group hypnosis session with Seremban Hospital staff. Bill Forest inducing trance with Sharmini in hypnosis demonstration.

With Rusa, 4th from right and Mario (right) our lecturers from Portugal.

SITC 2

While I am on the subject of Sultan Idris Training College in Tg. Malim, Perak, I would like to talk about the pleasure of meeting old friends and old students. En. Aziz Yatim is an old friend and student who attended my course (Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya - PRS) at Institut Aminuddin Baki in 1992. I remember at that time, he was still a young man with a passion of what he was doing. I remember him well as an artist or a cartoonist. If you check on my book 'Pengenalan Kaunseling Kelompok, you'll find the illustrations/ cartoons inside were his student's. In fact the cover of the previous edition depicting a group of students of various races sitting in a group setting was a contribution from the same student. En. Aziz gave his student a chance and his student excelled in it. That was what being a teacher is all about. I got the name of the student from my book. He is Irhan Shazlee bin Ramle formerly of Sekolah Menengah Vokasional, Kelang. Irham now , I heard, has become an architect. I would like to meet him in person to say thank you properly. Wherever you are Irham, my thanks to you and may God bless you. I know En. Aziz Yatim is very proud of you.

Another of my book 'Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya - Langkah Seterusnya' was illustrated by Aziz Yatim with his cartoons. I am much indebted to him for his contribution and support. The publisher took one of his cartoons and turned it into the bookcover. What pleases me more is that his children inherit his talents and I hope they will do well in their lives, bringing pride to their parents. I used to use Aziz's cartoons in my talks to illustrate my points about PRS whenever possible. They were of great help to me then.

As a lecturer in counselling at UPSI now, I am sure Aziz Yatim is just as proud of his student's achievement as I am proud of him. Actually I have lost touch with him for some time. When I returned from Kuching, Najidah and Norhashimah (my ex-studentss) mentioned his name and I said I know him. Since then we have been trying to meet up again but both of us were busy, it didn't materialise as fast as we wanted to.

On 13 November 2008, after delivering my talk with JPA in Putrajaya, I made an effort to visit UPSI with 2 purposes - to walk down memory lane and to meet Aziz Yatim. Najidah helped me to set up the appointment after office hours when I finished doing what I went there for. It was a most satisfying meeting after losing touch for such a long time. I am really proud of him for his success to show that counselling does work to help students in trouble in schools. He has produced in CD forms a number of training modules for students and has trained people how to handle them. To my ex-students from Unimas, I encourage all of you to contact him or surf his blog at http://www.pusaka01.blogspot.com/ to find out more. I admire Aziz's enthusism and commitment to prove that counselling does work. Unfortunately, even after more than 40 years in existence, counselling is still not accepted as psychology is. That's the irony now. Counsellors in government service have to use the name of 'Pegawai Psikologi' instead of the simple straight forward title 'Kaunselor'. Seems like our struggle never ends inspite of the existence of Lembaga Kaunselor and the Akta Kaunselor.

This photo showed Aziz Yatim busy at work during PRS course at IAB, 11 May - 18 July 1992.

I recalled the time he was attending my 3 months course in IAB, he was the life that kept the group going. He had the initiative to compile and to produce the group's news without me asking him to do so. With a little help from his friends, he single-handedly draw and paint a wall mural at the underground dining section at IAB, depicting the direction students (PRS) would go. I hope the mural is still there with my signature and Dr. Hussin's on it and that IAB values that effort. Photos below showed Aziz helping Dr Hussin Ahmad, the Director of IAB at that time, to unveil the mural and me at Aziz's mural holding a sketch of me done by the course participants, July 1992.

What made me feel so proud of him is his passion for what he believes in. Inspite of suffering from a degenerative disease, just like I do, it doesn't stop him from pursuing his dream, even though his illness causes him to depend on steroid. I have been there one time and I know how steroid affects a person. For you out there who read my blog, that's the attitude you should take, that's courage - keep going and never say die. Being sick doesn't mean you should stop chasing your dream. Aziz's determination, commitment and vision will bear fruits some day and I am sure Aziz has reaped some. It was a pleasure to meet your lovely family, Aziz, at your lovely home.

For you Aziz, you are a role-model that everyone should emulate. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best and hope you have the time to enjoy the fruits of your labour. Your contribution to counselling and your dedication to prove that counselling does work fill me with admiration. Good luck to you Aziz with much love from me.

The visit to UPSI gave me the opportunity to meet Adam, the president of PRS. Under Najidah's guidance I am positive PRS in UPSI will shine and made a name for themselves. You have En. Aziz Yatim there, get his help on how to make it work. With Najidah as the counsellor, I am sure her dedication and belief in PRS will spur them forward. There will be challenges and skeptism, keep on going for if you succumb to that you will fail.

To Najidah, thank you, love, for making things easier for me. I hope our project with UPSI muzeum will materialise and that will make me a happy and proud daughter. There is nothing I can do anymore for my father except to record his contribution and his life for our younger generation.

Believe in yourself and focus on your goals, will lead to success.

Sultan Idris Training College

Bangunan Suluh Budiman, UPSI Tg. Malim.

















Part of my childhood was spent in Sulatan Idris Training College (SITC), Tg. Malim, Perak in late 1940s and early 1950s. I didn't recall much of the experience but certain things still remained in my memory. I walked down memeory lane on 13 Nov 2008 and visited SITC, now known as Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris (UPSI) Tg. Malim, Perak. I was looking for old landmarks and buildings to referesh my memory of the happy days in SITC. Najidah is working there now as a student counsellor. Having her there made it easier for me to get around.

The only old building that is familiar to me is the Bangunan Suluh Budiman. There were 2 big pokok tembusu in front of it, they weren't there anymore. I walked in the hall which housed exhibition of before merdeka paintings. Fond memories flooded my mind. I remember the time as a little girl, I used to go there, clssrooms then, and stole some chalks to play with. My father was teaching there at that time and we lived in the staff wooden quarters which have been demolished.

At that time, communist terrorists were atill at large. We could hear shootouts almost every night. My father would bundle all his children to go down to the bathroom because that was the only brick wall in the house. I didn't understood much then. I went to the Sekolah Melayu there for a short while before moving to Tg. Kling, Melaka because my father had retired. According to my mum, they moved location by riding in bullock carts and took weeks to reach Melaka. Those were the days! I still had regrets in my heart for not appreciating my father' s and my mother's experiences and stories. I could write them down but my interest came much too late when they were both gone. I know my father wrote books about Ilmu Alam as that was the subject he taught best. I didn't have any copy of his book nor the old Suluh Budiman journal. My mother burnt them when he passed away as white ants had destroyed some pages.

I learned through this mistake. I doubt whether my children really realise the importance of my work. In some small way I have contributed to education in this country, especially in the field of counselling. The three of them know that I have written and published books but I am not sure whether they read them. None of them is in education. I guess when they reach a certain age they will realise what they are missing - just like me and so many other children. So, when an officer from Archive Negara approached me to keep my work in Arkib Negara, I jumped at the offer. So most of my earlier work in Institut Aminuddin Baki and Bahagian Pendidikan Guru as well as old photographs are housed in Arkib Negara in my personal file. I have not been there for quite a while. There are more work to be kept there especially papers and books written while I was in NASAM and Unimas.



To my delight, I saw a wooden board listing the names of former Guru Besar and number 3 is my father's, Abdul Rahman Hj. Muhyiddin, MBE, 1947 - 1952. He had taught there far longer than that and many old teachers, ex-SITC, remembered him but many have passed away too. He was awarded Member of the British Empire (MBE) by the British government but I forgot in which year. I didn't even know where the medal is.







The board at Bangunan Suluh Budiman indicating the Guru Besar of SITC of which my father was one of them.

This is an old picture of my wooden SITC house where we used to live when my father was teaching there. The house has been demolished. Seen here were my mother and sister-in-law, Zainun, with her children when they visited SITC for the last time.














This is my father, Abdul Rahman Hj. Muhyiddin at our old house in Tg. Kling, Melaka with his MBE medal.





The most regret in my heart ( I felt like crying every time I talk about this) was to demolish our old Malay house in Tg. Kling , Melaka in early 1980s where my siblings and I grew up. I was responsible for this. At that time I was thinking only of my father's convenience. He was old and sick and the toilet was far out at the back. I pulled down the pretty old house and built a half-brick house with toilet attached for him. I could keep the front part but no, the whole house went down. What stupidity and short-sightedness!! My old house was nice and unique with SITC black and bright yellow colour, his pride, which became the landmark in Tg. Kling. Such a pity!

My old Malay house in Tg. Kling, Melaka with my mother, sisters (Ani and Rai ) and sister-in-law, Zainun.

Below is a picture of my parents and their children. I was with glasses standing at
the back, half hidden by my sister, Zurainah. I am not sure what year this photo was taken but it must be either 1959 or early 1960s as my eldest brother, Ahmad Taufik (extreme left) passed away in 1962.









Other than the Suluh Budiman building and Anjung Perak, I didn't see much of old SITC. With Najidah's help we went to the muzeum to see whether there are pictures of my father but it was passed 5 o'clock and the officer in charge wasn't there. I promised to look through some old photos and donate copies to keep in the muzeum.
















This is an old photo of my father and his friends while working in SITC. He is sitting on the left.









The ladies at SITC - wives of the teaching staff. My mother, Maimunah Hj. Zakaria is on the left sitting at the edge of the chair.

My father after his retirement, with his grandson, Mahizan.

Ya Allah cucuri rahmat ke atas roh bapaku, Abdul Rahman Hj . Muhyiddin dan ibuku, Maimunah Hj. Zakaria. Alfatihah.