Run, run...

I planned to stay longer in PD to do what ever I have to do. But this morning, I opened my apartment door and saw cars packed at the car park. No wonder it was noisy. It's a long weekend holiday which means noise, dirty and thoughtless guests/visitors.  My neighbour upstairs still did not repair his pipe system which makes irritating noise every time it was turned on. Countless complaints were given but no remedial action taken. It's quite frustrating.
Unfortunately, I found that I forgot to bring spare eye drops this time. This is not me. Usually wherever I go I will bring a set of spare eye drops but not this time. May be when I left PJ, I wasn't in my normal state of mind and just threw what ever things I needed in a small bag. I have to go back to PJ today and see my eye specialist on Wednesday. I hope my eye pressure stabilizes again. The recent test didn't show an encouraging improvement and it worries me.
Going back to PJ means seeing my Rania and Gabe again.
Will be back to PD after I return from Tunisia.

Beginning of a new year

January 2013 is almost over. Life goes on as usual except for a few events that destabilize me. Having Rania and Gabe makes a lot of difference in my emotions. The thought and the sight of them calm me down when I feel low. Bless my little angels.

Rania and Nenek at Julia Gabriels ready to go to class, at Citta Mall. 160113

Rania started play school at Julia Gabriel in Citta Mall. She is happy there and adjusted herself well with no fuss. She loves going to school. Ika has successfully toilet trained her and there is no problem now..... maybe on one or two occasions when she held back and wet herself before sitting on the toilet bowl.

Rania reciting Al Fatihah. No she can't read the Quran but knows where Al fatihah is. 190113

Rania loved to sit on my lap after I finished praying maghrib. She listened and repeated when I recited Al Fatihah. Now she can recite Al Fatihah on her own with my Quran on her lap. She struggles a bit on the last ayat. She is really good. Children at her age are quick to imitate but will forget if not trained to recite it regularly. I am really proud my little Jantung Pisang. She brings sunshine in my life.

Rania in jubah bought by auntie Liza. She  look so pretty.

I visited my mother's grave today before leaving for PD. I still talked to her when I am in despair and ask for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made in treating her when she was alive. I understood now how painful it was when your child hurt you and I felt so powerless except to recite Al Fatihah and Yassin and prayed that Allah will forgive me. I did give my mother a hard time and she cried many times for my behaviour. True what a saying says ' You get what you give'. So to all children out there who read my blog and who still have living mothers, please treat your mothers with gentleness, love and respect, for when she is gone, you will be haunted with guilt for life. I can guarantee you that the feeling of regret is not a nice feeling. No matter how bad your mother is, she is your mother and you only have ONE mother.
Today I didn't hear knocking and drilling from the apartment below me. The contractor is so selfish and thoughtless. He just disregarded the rules and regulation even though the security guards requested him to stop work at 5 pm on week days and no work on weekends but he blatantly disobeyed. I had to get out of the apartment to avoid the noise till dark. It was so infuriating. The management was not able to do much which I believe they could do it if they are really strict and enforce the regulations. I hope it's going to be a quiet week as I need this respite.

Rania and Gabe with Nenek at JKids Paradigm Mall. 200113

Rania and Gabe at JKids Paradigm Mall, 200113

Gabe playing with foam blocks at JKids Paradigm Mall, 200113

Rania and Gabe had a good time playing at JKids in Paradigm Mall in PJ on Sunday 20 Jan 2013. It was packed with kids and parents. How different it was now compared to before. Now kids play indoors in artificial play room whereas before they were free to run around in an open air playground with natural surrounding. Safety is such a big issue now. No children should be left unattended on their own no matter where.
Chinese New Year is so far off but there are people already playing fire crackers. This is the behaviour of arrogant and indiscipline Malaysians. They are disgusting. I am glad I will be away in Tunisia during CNY. I hate the noise.

Reflecting 2012

You can make plans but Allah will determine your destiny. How true. I had a good 2012, alhamdullillah but was not spared the disappointments and challenges of daily life. I have made up my mind to quit working totally and focused only on my personal life and my travels, secured in the knowledge that I am quite stable financially. At my age financial stability is crucial for it determines one's self-esteem, independence and sense of security. My stability was shaken when an investment has gone sour and I wasn't sure whether I could get back my money which was quite substantial. I am not the type who takes risks in investing in something that promised a high return but was persuaded by well-meaning daughter who believed that my travels could be supported by its returns. It was a mistake and I am paying for it. For some time I was down with mild depression, fearing my future and my well-being.
On top of that, the person whom my older brother trusted to develop the land left by my mother to me with an amanah that when the land is developed, the proceed should be equally divide to all my siblings. The land has been cleared and houses have been built but no money comes in. The broker of the land doesn't respond to my calls, letters etc. None of my siblings bothered to make an effort to find out what happened, leaving it as my sole responsibility. I have no documents in my possession. My 5th older brother destroyed it because he was angry with me. I have given him the files containing documents, asking him to help looking after the matter when I left to work in Sarawak in 2001. Of course now, he denied it. I feel burdened and my heart is riddled with guilt for not being able to honour my late mother's wishes. It has been 13 years and this issue has not been settled. If family members are divided, issue like this is easily manipulated.
There were many ways I was being tested but alhamdulillah I was able to cope and overcome the negative impact. Many didn't realize the difficulty I experienced but I believe Allah is with me and my mother is giving me strength.
Inspite of the downside of life, I am blessed with two adorable grandchildren, Rania and Gabe. They make my life colourful, especially Rania whom I see more often. I stay with her parents every time I go back to PJ.
My ardent desire to see the world and my country as much as possible, took me to different parts of the world and Malaysia - Pekanbaru, Indonesia, Umrah, Mekah, Gunung Jerai, Tandem-paragliding, Sendayan, Eastern Europe, Coastal road Terengganu dan Kelantan, Tasek Bera, Nepal,  Taiping Lake, Seychelles, and Jakarta -Bandung.  
On the whole, I had a good year and I hope 2013 will be another good year for me. Insyaallah.    

End of 2012

Cold weather trees shed leaves at Tangkuban Perahu 291212

At Tangkuban Perahu 291212

I spent the end of 2012 in Bandung and Jakarta. It wasn't a good idea. Bandung and Jakarta were packed with locals and foreign tourists. Roads were jammed with cars and stores were buzzing with endless shoppers. I went with Izan and 4 others. Their purpose was shopping. I shopped a bit but when I got what I came for I just wanted to get away to a quiet place - not a possibility. So I had to play the waiting game and I got more and more bored,
Bandung and Jakarta are not new destinations for me. I have been there before. In Bandung we just visited Tangkuban Perahu and Seri Ater. Both places were packed with people. Kiki, the guide and Pak Harman, the driver have already warned us about the huge crowd. As a shopping paradise, it was heavenly for my friends but not me. I was bored!! They had so much energy trudging from from store to another and from from one shopping complex to another. I didn't want to spend money on shopping as I need the money for my other overseas tours. But I enjoyed looking at the Muslim women fashions there especially in Pasar Baru Bandung and Tanah Abang Jakarta. There are so many variety like how to tie the head scarves into turbans etc. I was fascinated. The Indonesian Muslims ladies are very fashionable.
See more in zuraidaharahman.travellerspoint.com