You can make plans but Allah will determine your destiny. How true. I had a good 2012, alhamdullillah but was not spared the disappointments and challenges of daily life. I have made up my mind to quit working totally and focused only on my personal life and my travels, secured in the knowledge that I am quite stable financially. At my age financial stability is crucial for it determines one's self-esteem, independence and sense of security. My stability was shaken when an investment has gone sour and I wasn't sure whether I could get back my money which was quite substantial. I am not the type who takes risks in investing in something that promised a high return but was persuaded by well-meaning daughter who believed that my travels could be supported by its returns. It was a mistake and I am paying for it. For some time I was down with mild depression, fearing my future and my well-being.
On top of that, the person whom my older brother trusted to develop the land left by my mother to me with an amanah that when the land is developed, the proceed should be equally divide to all my siblings. The land has been cleared and houses have been built but no money comes in. The broker of the land doesn't respond to my calls, letters etc. None of my siblings bothered to make an effort to find out what happened, leaving it as my sole responsibility. I have no documents in my possession. My 5th older brother destroyed it because he was angry with me. I have given him the files containing documents, asking him to help looking after the matter when I left to work in Sarawak in 2001. Of course now, he denied it. I feel burdened and my heart is riddled with guilt for not being able to honour my late mother's wishes. It has been 13 years and this issue has not been settled. If family members are divided, issue like this is easily manipulated.
There were many ways I was being tested but alhamdulillah I was able to cope and overcome the negative impact. Many didn't realize the difficulty I experienced but I believe Allah is with me and my mother is giving me strength.
Inspite of the downside of life, I am blessed with two adorable grandchildren, Rania and Gabe. They make my life colourful, especially Rania whom I see more often. I stay with her parents every time I go back to PJ.
My ardent desire to see the world and my country as much as possible, took me to different parts of the world and Malaysia - Pekanbaru, Indonesia, Umrah, Mekah, Gunung Jerai, Tandem-paragliding, Sendayan, Eastern Europe, Coastal road Terengganu dan Kelantan, Tasek Bera, Nepal, Taiping Lake, Seychelles, and Jakarta -Bandung.
On the whole, I had a good year and I hope 2013 will be another good year for me. Insyaallah.
On top of that, the person whom my older brother trusted to develop the land left by my mother to me with an amanah that when the land is developed, the proceed should be equally divide to all my siblings. The land has been cleared and houses have been built but no money comes in. The broker of the land doesn't respond to my calls, letters etc. None of my siblings bothered to make an effort to find out what happened, leaving it as my sole responsibility. I have no documents in my possession. My 5th older brother destroyed it because he was angry with me. I have given him the files containing documents, asking him to help looking after the matter when I left to work in Sarawak in 2001. Of course now, he denied it. I feel burdened and my heart is riddled with guilt for not being able to honour my late mother's wishes. It has been 13 years and this issue has not been settled. If family members are divided, issue like this is easily manipulated.
There were many ways I was being tested but alhamdulillah I was able to cope and overcome the negative impact. Many didn't realize the difficulty I experienced but I believe Allah is with me and my mother is giving me strength.
Inspite of the downside of life, I am blessed with two adorable grandchildren, Rania and Gabe. They make my life colourful, especially Rania whom I see more often. I stay with her parents every time I go back to PJ.
My ardent desire to see the world and my country as much as possible, took me to different parts of the world and Malaysia - Pekanbaru, Indonesia, Umrah, Mekah, Gunung Jerai, Tandem-paragliding, Sendayan, Eastern Europe, Coastal road Terengganu dan Kelantan, Tasek Bera, Nepal, Taiping Lake, Seychelles, and Jakarta -Bandung.
On the whole, I had a good year and I hope 2013 will be another good year for me. Insyaallah.
No comments:
Post a Comment