2012

In less than 3 hours, the clock will strike 12 to bade goodbye to 2011 and to welcome 2012. Another year has passed and time goes so fast. In reflecting back I wondered what have I done meaningfully in my life. Much of it was focused on myself, making myself happy, safe and free from any mental pressure except this last few days when I was upset because of cleanliness issue in the resort I live in. But thankfully, issues were resolved and I am at peace again.

Looking at my spending account for 2011, I definitely over spent much more than what I earned. That means I am digging in my saving. A few caring friends are worried to see me spending money on traveling but rest assured, the money for traveling is accounted for in a different saving. On top of that I saved whatever I earned through lectures, talks and clinical sessions into my traveling account (n0t much but good enough). So I am OK there and it's well taken care of.

My involvement with Istiqamah project of the mosque, though erratic, I was able to contribute quite significantly. Syukur alhamdullillah.

Most important I was able to keep my eye pressure stable though glaucoma is still there. I guess the new eye drop given to me and with help of self-hypnosis, I was able to keep my eye pressure down so far, even though slight damage does occur. This can't be helped. I am also more accepting of my glaucoma and didn't get depressed unnecessarily.

For 2012, I don't trust myself to make resolutions or promises. I told myself to plan ahead of my travel and not to do adhoc ones but I am not too sure I can keep this. I may take off somewhere whenever I have the chance even though it's not in my plan. Going to Umrah at the end of February with Maz and get grounded for a while when my daughter-in-law delivered her baby in March, are already on the plate. After this I don't know. Some time in the early part of the year I have to do my cataract surgery for the right eye but I haven't fixed the date yet. It's still very tentative.

Whatever it is, I hope Allah will give me time to see through 2012 and I want to do again my clinical hypnotherapy and counselling sessions this year. So if anybody needs help in dealing with their issues through hypnotherapy (professional fees will be charged) please contact me.

Happy New Year everybody!!!

Apology

Today I received an email forwarded by the Deputy Chairperson of Management Council of the resort from this particular supervisor who sent stinking name-calling email to me. He apologized for his hasty reaction and behaviour and shared some of his problems with some owners and renting agents. Above all, he didn't know who I really was and I guess he thought I was one of the fault-finding owners. There are some truths to what he was saying as I have seen some thoughtless and arrogant behaviour of owners and renting agents who make demands but refuse to cooperate.

I am glad he admitted his mistake and I leave the decision to the Council to deliberate. I was advised by friends to leave this unrewarding and unpaid job and just enjoy my retirement. I am sure, had my children known this, they would also say the same thing for fear of my safety.

To me, the resort is my place of stay and I should contribute to make things better. The other council members do not stay there, so they might have little knowledge of the goings on.

I'll continue my contribution and hope things will get better. I plead with Malaysians in general to have hearts and become less selfish and arrogant.

Name-calling

I have been called and labeled with many names - negatives and positives. I didn't bother much about what people said about me negatively. It's waste of time to bother but when name-calling is tinged with subtle threat, it's a problem.
As a member of the Management Council of the resort that I live in, I was given a task in charge of cleanliness since I spend most of my time there. And I take my responsibility seriously. The resort is always in a mess due to selfish attitude of people who go there. The management has always faced with problem of cleaning service. We terminated the last company's service for being complacent. The new company belongs to an Indian couple based in PJ and they appointed an Indian supervisor to take care of the work. Two months passed by, the service has not improved. I complained by phone and email to the owner as the supervisor is supposed to see things done.
The most irritating thing is, the cleaners and the supervisor didn't even know that somebody shit and urinated on the staircase in different blocks until I went for my walking exercise and informed them so. There were always the same excuses why the car park was not swept - many cars parked there. Old wooden door was thrown at the beach - a short cut work whereas many times I have informed the company that nothing should be thrown at the beach. It was an ongoing battle. Why was it so difficult for some Malaysians to understand simple awareness on cleanliness? So my complaints went on and on and I wouldn't stop until the issues were addressed.
When I returned from Pekanbaru, the Deputy chairperson forwarded me an email from the supervisor, cursing and calling me names to say that I accused him of not doing his work and gave strings of excuses. Of course, I was upset for a while but I thought it was a childish email coming from a wounded child. I decided to disregard it but planned to bring it up in the next management meeting. The Deputy Chairperson responded to his email explaining to him that as a member of the Council, I have the right to pursue issues pertaining to my portfolio and that as a member I have the say in hiring and firing people. If he is not able to handle complaints gracefully he should leave. I guess that fueled his anger, aiming at me in particular.
The owner of the company sent me SMS when I was still in Pekanbaru apologising for his staff's behaviour and that the individual is resigning at the end of December. From then on, I received regular reports through SMS of the company's effort to keep the resort clean. In an way, I am happy my complaints are taken seriously and hope this sense of responsibility will continue. I have no attention to make people lose their jobs but if jobs are not done seriously and responsibly, they deserve to be sacked.
In the management meeting I was never in favour to employ people with aggressive and talk big behaviour especially among Indians. They can turn to be gangsters and difficult to get rid of when work is not satisfactorily done. I hope the committee learns a lesson from this and be more aware the next time in awarding contract. As far as I am concerned, I paid service fee faithfully and good service should be provided. Lets see what happens after this and I'll keep everyone posted.

Pekanbaru

Taken with the bellboy of Pangeran Hotel in Pekanbaru. He is wearing the same baju Melayu as we do here in Malaysia. Also with Sadiah, my room-mate for this visit. 251211






I am ashamed to admit that my knowledge of Indonesia is limited though I have visited a number of places there. So, I learned that Pekanbaru is in mainland Sumatra in the Kepulauan Riau region. Yes, that's why I thought it was an island - Pulau Riau. Well, ignorance can be corrected. I did it by visiting the place.
Pekanbaru is like Malaysia. Majority is Malay Riau and can speak Malay like we Malays in Malaysia but with Indonesian accent. There are not many tourist attractions except the old traditional design buildings especially the bumbung or the roofs.





The Gedung Perwakilan Rakyat (like the parliament) is so colourful and attractive with batik and songket motif designs. Unfortunately we weren't able to go in because it was on Christmas day.










The open book modern design of the National Library also drew my attention and it was quite impressive. Built on the same ground as the Kantor Gabenor Riau, the complex is attractive with a Turkish-Iranian design mosque for the staff.











The Complex Raja Ali Haji is beautiful with different design tradional houses from different daerah, just like our mini Malaysia. But unfortunately, the complex is so rundown and unkempt with long grass, pools of stagnant water and debris. I guess, it takes a lot of money to maintain this place. The unique building of the cultural centre where cultural shows are held is really stunning. It catches the eyes from far but since it was Christmas holiday we just enjoyed the external of the building. I hope the Pekanbaru government will be able to restore the glory of this place again some day.



The An-Nur Mosque is impressive, the biggest mosque in Pekanbaru where we did our solat jama' Zuhur and 'Asar.












Different kinds of nuts sold in big bags at Pasar Bawah Pasar Wisata, Pekanbaru. 251211



The main attraction here is shopping. Things are comparatively much cheaper than in Malaysia especially clothes, handbags, shoes, batik etc. We were brought to Pasar Bawah Pasar Wisata where there are bazaar and markets. The place was so sardine-packed with people and hot but fun to shop. I bought a few pieces of Riau silk materials at low prices that my other traveling companions couldn't resist but bought in dozen as presents. The Ramayana shopping complex also was bursting with people since it was happy holidays too there. One glaring difference that I notice was that, there was no warnings of pickpockets or bag-snatching in spite of people jostling closed to one another. Everyone seemed to be relaxed and normal whereas we were clutching our handbags for dear life. I really like this relaxed and safe feeling. Anyway there is nothing wrong to be weary.





Happy Wedding wishes along the main road in Pekanbaru, Indonesia for a happy couple. 251211























Since shopping is not my favourite activity when visiting other countries, I opted to stay in the hotel the next day when it was a free and easy day. I wanted to go to Bukit Tinggi for a day tour but was advised against it because it was a wet day and the journey was long due to poor road.
The last day (27 Dec 2011) before going to the airport, Pak Irwan, the local guide brought the 8 of us to Nasi Padang lunch at a restaurant. It was really a delicious nasi padang with petai and jering thrown in.

We ended our journey as new-old friends and I am sure I'll visit Sadiah, my room-mate, in Sitiawan one day.

Examination

I just finished examining practical examination for Hypnotherapy Certificate and Diploma courses today. It was quite tiring but good for me. At least I keep up with the knowledge of hypnosis. I still remember when I was doing the course, I was as nervous as many of them. Some are professionals, senior in age and experience but became nervous wrecks during practical exam. Some were highly qualified in their fields and tried to hide their nervousness thorough being over confident but finally messed up their practical exam. I have seen so many human behaviour facing stressful situation like an examination. Many admitted they were nervous wrecks when they came in to face me. I understood how they felt and tried to make them feel comfortable.
One behaviour which I couldn't accept is arrogance especially when they feel they are qualified professionals. No matter how highly successful they are in their field, hypnosis is a new area which they have to learn. In a way I feel sorry for them. Being well-known doctors, psychiatrists, professors, managers, Dato's, Tan Sris etc do not mean they can be good hypnotherapists if they don't practice and pass exams.
I hate failing people because taking this course is already a proof of high motivation and interest. But if performance in practical exam doesn't match the standard set and the expectation, I don't hesitate to fail them. For Certificate level candidates I was quite lenient and gave them a chance to redo the practical if I wasn't happy with the performance. At this level they learn hypnosis for themselves and NOT to others for therapy. But at Diploma level when they are trained to treat patients, I draw the line. Sub-standard performance means failure. Hypnotherapy by unqualified people spells disaster. Playing with people's subconscious mind is not a game. Wrongly treated, the patient can go bonkers.
Unfortunately in Malaysia, anyone who attends a short course on hypnosis can call and function as hypnotherapy. There is no controlling body to supervise the training and practice of hypnotherapy. Ethical practice and ethical conduct guidelines are not available. So it seems, it's free for all. This frightens me. Falling in the hands of unethical hypnotherapists will tarnish the good name of the profession and patients become victims. I hope those who seek hypnosis for treatment will examine the therapist's credentials first before agreeing to hypnosis session.

Maid

Talked to my old traveling friend yesterday. She is housebound now - taking care of her 2 kindergarten grandsons. Spent quite a long time on the phone talking about her woes having foreign housemaids her son employed. I remember traveling with her in Philippines some time back with 2 other senior ladies. We spent most time interviewing maids whom she wanted to bring back for her son and daughter-in-law. Both of them are working professionals. Finally she decided to have one lady who told her that she is poor and has to support 3 children as her husband is an odd-job worker. Evaluating her as very nice, responsible and sincere to work to help her family, my friend bought her air ticket, clothes and made her passport. She was a wonderful maid for about 2 weeks, later she turned to be nasty, refusing to do certain work, locking her room door and became argumentative. My poor friend, she was furious. Talking to her nicely had no effect. Obviously she came to Malaysia just for a holiday, not work. Frustrated, she sent the maid packing and began the search for a replacement.

Since then, she was shuttling from her house to her son's to drive the grandsons to school and back and feed them. Many different maids came and go, some lasted a day. Most complained the house is too big and need a lot of work. They dictated what they wanted to do and what they didn't want to do. The recent Indonesian maid is a classic example of rudeness and irresponsibility. She refused to cook for the children, no cooking, no sweeping the garden etc. Her work is only to look after the house and do some cleaning. So again, my friend has to drive 20 minutes to the house to feed her grand children, ferry them to school and back to her house for the same routine - picking the grand children back from school cook and feed them, wait for the son or daughter-in-law to come back, then only she can return to her house. She will not have her grand sons hungry and neglected. What a job!! Like me, She is not really keen to stay with her son, preferring her independence living alone.

I remember how much headache I had before with maids when my children were young, local ones at that time. My friend's daughter-in-law and son are lucky that she is available and still fit to drive around for her grand sons' sake. But she has to trade that with her freedom. Now she is hardly able to go anywhere and I don't think she is happy.

Listening to her, I am glad somehow that Ika, my daughter, quit her job to look after her daughter, Rania. Though I still feel that she should have a career so that she can be financially independent, the sacrifce is quite worth it. I wouldn't want my Rania to go through the different maids looking after her. It's impossible for me to travel from PD to PJ and staying almost permanently with her is not a good option. I hope Rania will realize some day how lucky she is. And I also hope Ika could have a career again soon, even working from home.

In spite of changing maids so often when they were young, thank God, my children turned out normal because we were lucky that some of my former maids were good and responsible. Of course, there were one or two who were like devils but I sacked them immediately. Furthermore I was teaching at that time and by afternoon I was home.

This is eastern grandmothering, I guess.

Back to Hypnosis

It has been quite a while since I practice hypnosis and counselling. I referred patients/clients to friends. Ethics dictate that I cannot conduct sessions because of my traveling and not able to keep appointments and do follow-up. I miss this professional side of me and now in 2012, I plan to take patients/clients and adjust my traveling schedules - no more ad hoc travel. Traveling is still my passion as I want to see as many places as possible in this world and in my country.

LCCH is conducting a tailor-made course in hypnosis for the Drug prevention agencies. I am happy that I am going to discuss ethical practice in hypnosis and teach self-hypnosis. I hope the small number of participants will be interested and pursue hypnosis further for addiction. Good luck to them.

I have another activity lines up for 2012. I am volunteering to do small group hypnosis with orphans. With Ama's help, I hope we could collect some data to see the response to hypnosis in confidence-building and thus reduce indiscipline. I am quite excited about this project.

With the istiqamah activity at the mosque and these, I think my hand is quite full for next year. But Bosnia, I am coming to see you in May 2012, Insyaallah.