Since 2003 when I was diagnosed having advanced close-angled glaucoma, my journey as a glaucoma sufferer is like a roller-coaster. My hope goes up and down depending on the result of my checkup. I felt good and confidence when I last saw my specialist. Looking at my visual field test she finds that my sight is not as bad as it looks by examination. My eye pressure was good and stable. But, last week when I went for check up again at the hospital, the glimmer of hope that I experienced evaporated when I was told that my eye pressure was higher that it should be. Again, the doctor talks about surgery which I am hoping it will not come to that. I am on maximum dose of eye drops (4) which I faithfully adhere to doctor's instruction. I know my sight is deteriorating, I can feel it.
I have done what I can and what I was advised to. I am also on homeopathy treatment and the doctor told me that my sight will not betray me as my nerve is still strong. I pray it's true. I am not asking for perfect vision which is impossible but please God let me be able to drive (at least short distance), read and enjoy the beauty around me. I wish to explore all the islands in Malaysia solo and write a book on the experience. My publisher would be happy to hear this. They have given up hope of publishing another book from me. I have checked out from writing books. But the wish to write a book is still burning inside me. I hope my eyes can take it.
I remember some time ago, I felt so hopeless about my sight and I was in great despair. I guess I got used to the highs and the lows of my situation. I don't despair and cry anymore. I suppose that is what acceptance is all about. I am calmer. My head is still full of plans of what I want to do.
I shall travel as usual. I want to see the cherry blossoms in full bloom in Korea and watch cormorant birds fishing in Li River, Guilin, trek the Silk Road route, and other places whenever I have the opportunity to go. Insyallah.
I have done what I can and what I was advised to. I am also on homeopathy treatment and the doctor told me that my sight will not betray me as my nerve is still strong. I pray it's true. I am not asking for perfect vision which is impossible but please God let me be able to drive (at least short distance), read and enjoy the beauty around me. I wish to explore all the islands in Malaysia solo and write a book on the experience. My publisher would be happy to hear this. They have given up hope of publishing another book from me. I have checked out from writing books. But the wish to write a book is still burning inside me. I hope my eyes can take it.
I remember some time ago, I felt so hopeless about my sight and I was in great despair. I guess I got used to the highs and the lows of my situation. I don't despair and cry anymore. I suppose that is what acceptance is all about. I am calmer. My head is still full of plans of what I want to do.
I shall travel as usual. I want to see the cherry blossoms in full bloom in Korea and watch cormorant birds fishing in Li River, Guilin, trek the Silk Road route, and other places whenever I have the opportunity to go. Insyallah.
