The ups and downs of eye pressure

I went for glaucoma check up on 22 March. My eyes were dilated for check up by the specialist. Today the pressure seemed to go up again but she said not to worry, it's because my eyes were dilated. Previously, the dilation didn't affect the pressure. I tried not to worry and comfort myself that it's OK, the specialist said so. But I do have some uncomfortable feelings because I experience nagging headaches occasionally.
I have to postpone my cataract surgery. The coughing hasn't gone since I came back from Umrah. I know antibiotics and cough syrup wouldn't work as long as I suffer from reflux. So I am on home remedy - taking Apple cider vineger and baking soda. It lessens the cough but it bothers me at night.
Now that my eye pressure is up again, I am glad I declined to lecture in Hypnosis course and in PRS presentation. I need to curb my work on computer and less TV. I don't watch much TV, most time I fall asleep while watching it, especially at night.
I decided to get homeopathy treatment again. The last homeopathy treatment worked temporarily and the practioner said she has given me the strongest medcine available to her. My eye pressure went up after some time. So I quit going to her. But I'll try again to see one Homeopathy doctor who has experience treating glaucoma. His clinic is in Yan Kedah and I plan to go and see him there. I hope I got respite and my eye pressure goes down again.
Meanwhile, I'll avoid using computer everyday except to open my email.

Muhammad Shah Gabriel

Smiling Gabriel, still dreaming that he is still in his mother's womb.












Gabe opened his one eye to see the world around him.













Adorable Gabe, so peaceful and contented.













Allahuakabar! Gabe with his new pose.














Happy dad and Mom with baby Gabe.











Proud mon and dad.











Adoring father.










Muhammad Shah Gabriel or Gabe is 24 hours old when I visited him today at the hospital. He looks so yummy cute with black hair framing his face. Haidi and Izrin are in seventh heaven with happiness and pride to have Gabe in their life. I am too. Today Gabe is sleeping most time, occasionally annoyed when he was disturbed with kisses and changing hands. He is such a beautiful baby, as beautiful as Rania was. Rania visited and got acquainted with her new cousin yesterday and was as excited but later demanded her parents' attention when all focused on Gabe. She is a kakak already and will learn to address herself to Gabe as Kak Nia. How cute!
Now Gabe looks a lot like Izrin especially with his black hair and facial features but he has Haidi's chin and eyes. Like Rania, Gabe will change his looks later. Rania, as a baby looked very much like Justin, real Mat Saleh baby. But she looks more like Ika now except for her very fair skin.
Haidi is doing well in spite of her C section and hope she will get well soon. The news that Izrin has a baby spread to all his uncles, aunties, cousins and friends through facebook. Thank you facebook, you make my work easier.
We are waiting for Haidi to be discharged from hospital and she will go for her confinement at her parents' house. Her mom will take real good care of her and I marvel at her mom for being capable of taking care of her daughters and their babies. Haidi's older sister, Mel, has a 3 month old baby girl. Syikin is taking care of her too. I am glad that Syikin is a good grandma and I know Gabe will be well taken care of, loved and is safe with her. As for me as a grandma, I love and enjoy my grandchildren but I am not a stay-put grandma. I alternate between PD and PJ and most time I am away from home for my travels. My itchy feet are still going strong and I still want to see the world as much as possible before my body says 'stop'. So adorable Gabe and Rania, you will see your Nenek when she is in PJ.





Nia pronounces my name as Zur-reeii-da - a delightful sound.












Lovely Nia.














Can't wait how Gabe will pronounce my name in a year and half time.





















Adoring grandma with Gabe.














240312. Rania, mom Ika and Dad Justin paid a visit to Gabe at the hospital.
















Rania admiring baby Gabe. 230312. (tak tahu pulak nak pusingkan gambar ni)

























Cutenya mulut dan mata Gabe buka. Tapi nenek tak tahu macam mana nak pusingkan gambar ni. Dengan Mak Yong and Kak Nia.









Love you to bits my two poppets.

Alhamdulillah

24 March 2012 at 11.30 am, I welcomed the sound of strong baby wail from the delivery room in Umra Hospital in Shah Alam. Syukur alhamdulillah, my first grandson greeted the world with a loud boy's booming wail. He was protesting from being yanked out of his mother's womb while he was comfortably sleeping there. A 3.52 kg baby, he has a mop of black hair, exactly like his father's and it's going to be curly. Syikin (Haidi's mother) and I sighed with relief to hear his loud protest. We have been waiting for him with apprehension. This is Syikin's third grandchild and the second for me. Though Syikin looked calm, she went looking for drinking water when she knew her daughter was safe. I understood her feeling.
Sometimes I don't believe that Izrin is a daddy. To me he is still my little boy, my only son. But he has matured so much and became a responsible husband. I am proud of him.
Muhammad Shah Gabriel bin Izrin Zamir, I already love you. You and Rania make my world and I am so proud of both of you. My prayer to Allah to make you both better individuals and successful in whatever you choose to be without forgetting your root, religion, country, parents and relatives.


Rania baru bangun tidur. Nak mandi dan visit baby cousin, Gabriel. Both will compete their curly hair - one with very black hair and the other brownish hair. 240312











Moga-moga Allah memberkatimu, cucuku sayang.

Delivery

I recalled what my mother used to say that every time her daughters went to hospital to deliver their babies, she was apprehensive and fearful. She said she was so anxious and worried and used to go to toilet so often while waiting for the good news. The same feeling and anxiety were also experienced when her daughters-in-law were in labour. To her she was reliving the pain of labour she endured for 10 times which was always fresh in her memory. When I delivered my first baby, Ika, she was with me. The night my waterbag broke, she was so flustered, not knowing what to do. We had to calm her down. I told her repeatedly not to worry that I would be OK. But she was still anxious and panicky. I didn't understand her feeling then.
Now I understand how she felt. When Ika was in labour for Rania, I was so anxious, praying every now and then for her and baby to be OK. I tried to hide it but my heart raced a thousand miles per hour, reliving the excruciating labour pain which was still in my memory and knowing that my daughter was going through it. Syukur Alhamdullillah, she didn't experience long labour and my adorable Rania was delivered normally. I cried when I saw her for the first time and she captured my heart forever when her little finger curled around mine. Allah has been kind to me all the way and I hope He will be kind again today.
At this moment I am trying to calm myself and my heart but my anxiety is there. Haidi, my daughter-in-law, Izrin's wife is in hospital going through a slow labour pain. It has been a difficult pregnancy. The doctor has induced her but the baby is still not ready to see the world. I am so worried for Haidi and the baby. According to the doctor, baby is OK but not active. If by tonight, there is no sign of delivery, then she has to go for cesarean operation tomorrow. Both Haidi and Izrin want a normal delivery but if by inducing, it doesn't happen, then they have no choice but to go for cesarean. I pray and hope by tonight, my grandson will come and meet his parents and then see his relatives tomorrow. Please, please let her deliver safely. Ya Allah, selamatkanlah menantu dan cucuku. Amin...

Recipe for lazy people

Cooking was never my favourite activity, even from young. To me cooking is a drag, takes too much time and the food is swallowed in a second. So, what's the point of cooking when you can buy food outside. Unfortunately, living alone sometimes doesn't provide enough motivation to go out to eat or buy food. So to avoid starving I have to cook - food as simple as possible but delicious.I don't have recipe book to follow. In fact recipe book is so complicated which needs thousands and one ingredients which I cannot be bothered to buy.
So last night my choice was to cook or just ate biscuits for dinner. I remember I bought a piece of salmon from Aeon/Jusco supermarket in Seremban 2 and prepared to cook it but how?
My impromptu recipe is invented by rummaging my almost empty fridge to see what else were available.
1. I cleaned the salmon, rub in some salt and tamarind (kunyit).
2. I sprinkled some black pepper, virgin olive oil and some chilli flakes (from Domino pizza) and some dried rosemary which I brought back fresh from UK .
3. It was left to marinate for 30 minutes while I did my prayer.
4. I put it on aluminum foil in a baking tray and in it went into my little oven for 25 minutes bake.
5 Meanwhile I found left over mushroom, tomatoes, half of yellow onion which I cut, washed and sprinkled some salt.
6. After 20 minutes I threw in all the vegetables with the salmom and waited for the time to cook.

It was delicious, believe me. The salmon was sweet and juicy. I could do this again.
Alamak, forgot to take photos!

Badan makin kembang. Dah pakai baju XL sekarang. Nak diettttttt!!!!

Hoarseness

It's almost 2 weeks since I suffered from coughing, cold and flu. I have been to the doctors and as I suspected he prescribed antibiotics and cough mixture though I told him that I suffer from reflux. Staying in PD in my apartment gave me the opportunity to rest but the coughing is still there. On top of that I almost lost my voice and now it's hoarse and I strain my vocal cord when I want to talk. So most time here, I stay alone indoor and not talking to anybody.
I googled about loss of voice and hoarseness which is mostly caused by acid reflux. My coughing and hoarseness became prominent when I lie down to sleep at night. This is due to the acid from my stomach which spills into the tube to the throat (esophagus) and tickles my vocal cord, resulting in on-going coughing and difficulty to sleep. My stomach bloats and I suffer from constipation.
I am glad that I cancelled my talk and presentation to give my vocal cord a good rest even though it takes quite a while to recover. Without clear voice I find it difficult to talk and didn't call Rania on the phone. I missed her tremendously. Misusing voice or over-strained it can cause loss of voice or hoarseness for long term or worse, it leads to vocal cyst or vocal hemorrhage. So It's important to pay attention to this. Careers using voice as their main tool such as singers, teachers/lecturers, DJs etc can be at risk. Some may not recover from hoarseness at all. I don't want this to happen to me.
Reflux is like heartburn, indigestion or better known as GERD. At critical level, it is a major cause for esophageal cancer. Suffering from this disease leads to chronic coughing, difficulty in swallowing, wheezing, choking and hoarseness. Best remedy for hoarseness is by not talking or just whisper, rest and drink a lot of water. I am doing just that.
I am looking at home remedies for reflux. I am going to try to mix 2 tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar, 1/2 teaspoon baking soda in a glass of water and drink it twice daily. See whether it works. I pray it works and frees me from this bother. Another home remedy I read is to mix 1/2 teaspoon baking soda in 1/2 glass of water and drink once a day.

Please go away reflux and restore my voice.

My apology

I came back from Umrah on 9 March 2012 at 11 pm. I already had symptoms of flu and cough while in Medina. Today after a restless night, I had a full blown coughing that came deep down from my stomach. I fully realized that reflux is playing a big part in making my coughing worse. I hate going to General Practitioner's clinic for medications. The doctor will give me cough mixture and antibiotics which will not work even though I tell them I have reflux. So I need to go to a specialist again at UMSC for medication.
My apology to the PRS of Universiti Malaysia Kelantan who organized Seminar Discovery of Social Entrepreneurship and invited me to deliver a paper on Volunteerism and Social Entrepreneurship on 16 March 2012. I requested the organizer to find a replacement for me while I was still in Mecca when I noticed symptoms of flu and cough were attacking me. I know I will not be on my best when I returned as the cough will persist as before. I was looking forward to deliver the paper as I thought it was an interesting project to encourage young people to get involved in voluntary work and become entrepreneurs later. Any way I wished the PRS of UMK all the success in organizing this event and gained experience from it.
I also extend my apology to Sheila of LCCH Malaysia for requesting her to find a replacement for my lecture on Hypnotherapy on 23 March 2012 with AADK on Module 2. I have the same problem and know it will take a toll on my energy. I need to get a lot of rest and regain my energy to prepare for my hectic trip to East Europe on May 5, 2012. I hope by then my coughing would subside and I am myself again.
Another cancellation I have to make is the cataract surgery. With coughing it is just not possible to do it. I got to contact Dr. Mimi and inform her about this. My last left eye cataract surgery was also cancelled due to bad cough and finally had it done when I was OK a few months later.
But I have to go on having a hypnotherapy group session with the orphans at Al- Munirah Orphanage in Klang as a follow-up session on 1 April 2012 and hope to discuss some changes experienced by the members after a month of hypnotherapy with me. I think by then I'll be OK.
My fund-raising project with Istiqamah program of Masjid Kg. Tunku will go on regardless whether I am well or not. The mosque is just a door away from my house.
I also pray Maz will get well when she gets back to work on Monday.
So with much regret I have to cancel some of my scheduled programs until I am fully recovered. Please Allah let me be well and healthy when my new grandson is born. I am so pleased that Haidi informed me that in her last checkup, the baby is ready to see the world. I prayed so hard for Haidi to have a safe delivery. I do not know how much she will remember about the pre-birth hypnosis session she had with me. Unfortunately her family advised her against continuing the session for family reason and belief.



Rania is fascinated playing with her new Arabic music dancing doll. 100312










It was such a great pleasure to see Rania happy and excited to see her Nenek again. We had great time playing bubbles.

Grand children hold their grand parents' hearts in their little hands.

Umrah 28 Feb - 9 March 2012

In Al-Haram first floor, waiting for Asar prayer.














Daughter Maz at Saii area on the second floor of Al-Haram Mosque. Quite empty for most people prefer to do their Saii on the original ground floor. But situation is different during Haj. It's as crowded as on ground floor.









Taken from second floor overlooking the original Saii from Safa Hill where the actual rock is but now being walled by glass to prevent further abuse from pilgrims. The area from Safa Hill to Marwah Hill was the place where Siti Hajar, wife of Prophet Ibrahim ran back and forth looking for water for her son, Ismael. Hence the Zam-Zam well was created by Allah not far from here, near the Kaabah, a few meters away.








Taken on the second floor where the Tawaf begins and ends - a longer walk 7 times around Kaabah for Tawaf but not crowded and very peaceful.















A serene place to communicate with Allah in your heart.















I took a sneak photo of Maz in front of Kaabah after our Tawaf.















Daughter Maz reading the Quran while waiting for Asar prayer on the ground floor of Al-Haram Mosque.









In 2009 when I returned from Haj, I did talk to God silently saying that I had no intention to come back to Mecca for the next 3 years. I didn't have the desire to go Mecca in 2010 and 2011 even though my traveling companion, Sharipah, did her Umrah in 2011. But in 2012 when Maz expressed her desire to do her Umrah with me, I said yes and made all arrangements with expenses paid by her. We left Malaysia 0n 28 February and returned on 9 March 2012. A separate arrangement was made for the two of us to stay at Hilton Tower in Mekah which was quite convenient to go to the Grand Mosque, Al-Haram.
Shaza travels and Tours in Ampang did a good job with efficient system of checking in their Jamaahs in designated hotels. We didn't have to wait long. Entry to Jeddah was at the Haj terminal and was quite swift compared to few years back. With small group of 32 Jemaahs, there was ample space in the bus for comfortable traveling.
I did feel a lot of difference in the level of energy. I did my Umrah more than a dozen times since in my fifties and sixties. To avoid boredom, most time I went to Tanaem for niat umrah to perform umrah in Mekah. It was good and spiritually fulfilling on top of having brisk walk for the Saii as healthy exercise. But these last couple of times, age really has caught up with me. I didn't have the stamina any more and resistance was low. During my Haj, coughing and flu dragged on for quite a while till long after I came back home. This time, since the stay was short, I caught flu and cough on the last day. Long travel, lack of rest and heat pushed Maz to suffer flu on the third day of our stay in Mecca.







The new big shopping mall next to Hilton Hotel just ouside Al-Haram compound.









I saw very little improvement since my last Haj. What I saw was aggressive development around the grand mosque. Old buildings are torn down and new modern ones are being built. So dust flies everywhere. What makes matters worse, Mecca was packed with pilgrims and very few were conscious of health. Malaysians have been advised to be prepared and wear face masks but I can count with my fingers the numbers that bothered to do so. I just do not understand the attitude. Though face masks do not guarantee that one can keep away from flu attack, it can help to reduce the risk. What irked me most was the selfish attitude. They coughed without covering their mouths or without using face masks, especially in closed aircond buses and in air plane. Another disgusting behaviour was, they blew their noses when people were eating, so biadap. These are simple common sense and good manners. Fardhu Kifayah in Islam encourages thinking and caring about other people's well-being. This was not well-stressed but most time I heard was 'don't let your hair shows', 'cover yourself till below your breasts', etc, etc. I guess this is one of the many reasons why many non- Muslims are confused with the religion. They assume the religion is reflected by the behaviour of Muslims. In actual fact many, many Muslims do not adhere to the real teaching of Islam, except stressing on the superficial exterior.
Saudi Arabia is a rich oil country. Allah has blessed this country with much wealth but personally I think SA does very little in term of Fardhu Kifayah to contribute to the well-being of the pilgrims. Instead they build big modern shopping malls and luxurious hotels. Jeddah airport is congested and no comfortable place for prayer, the RR en-route to Mediona is still in deplorable condition (the mosque is dirty and has not been swept for weeks, I think), Beggers (usually deformed individuals) lying around on the steps and as well petty sellers at Jabal Rahmah, blocking the path up the hill. I wonder why the SA government doesn't open enough welfare homes and take all these poor beggers (usually not locals) and put them in the Homes instead of letting them loose and being made used by begging syndicates there. The sight is really pathetic.







The ladies rushed to Zam-Zam water coolers to get drink. There is no such thing as Q, first come first serve.







There is obviously lack of manners, gentleness, consideration for others and order. Everybody fights for himself or herself only, to the extend of trampling, elbowing or pushing others away. Nobody seems ever heard of queuing system. You can see this at the struggle to kiss Hajartul Aswat, at Zam-Zam water pipes or even during Tawaf. Their behaviour is so rough which is contrary to the teaching. They really smeared the beauty of Islamic teaching.
We were brought to a date farm to buy whatever we wanted to take home. That's another place where there is no Q system to pay. Everyone just rushed and elbowed their way to the two cashiers to pay, most are Indonesians and some Malaysians. Maz wanted to give up and just left everything there but fortunately she caught the eyes of the cashier and he served her. The situation was like fighting for food during famine-eat or die!!
Shaza's food arrangement in Medina was a disaster. We have to fight for food with a big group of Indonesians. Maz and I and many Malaysians resorted to buying food outside for the 3 days we were there. Going to Raudhah was another nightmare. How can one pray at a tiny space when everyone is fighting to pray there. There was no patience, respect and tolerance. I just made a simple doa which I know Allah hears me and got out of the madness. The more aggressive Indons seemed to monopolize the place with some unwanted Pakistanis and Iranians and Turks who were not supposed to be there with us. They were all selfish Muslims. I have been there so many time and things have not changed much. I really missed the Umrah times I had in early 1990s during low seasons where I was able to pray in peace at Raudhah, at Kaabah and at Hajaratul Aswat.
In the bus, the ustaz in charge reminded us to talk about all the good things about our Umrah trip and I was glad somebody responded saying ' Ustaz suruh kami cakap bohong?'. That was good. We were always told to say all the nice things and to hide the unpleasant which in actual fact we were encouraged to blind ourselves to the truths and live in denial. Is that what the teaching is all about? As long as we keep on denying the truths no matter how bad, there is little effort to improve.





Coming up the narrow steps of Jabal Rahmah, outside Mecca at Arafat.














Daughter Maz and me before climbing Jabal Rahmah. I have not climbed this hill for years but did it for Maz. Though this is her second Umrah, the first one was done 18 years ago.



















Maz on top of Jabal Rahmah overlooking Mecca.













A sign board warning pilgrims of what Jaaranah mosque and Jabal Rahmah are not.










Saudi Arabia is taking things for granted.No matter what, pilgrims will still come even though performing Haj and Umrah are increasingly harder because of the huge number of pilgrims merging into Mecca and Medina all year round. Providing comfortable services to pilgrims seem not a priority. The SA government estimated 5 million people will come for Umrah all year round in 2012.



Daughter Maz under the big umbrella at Masjid Nabawi compound. Beautiful, clean city being marred by thoughtless pilgrims who dirty the place.








For those people who will perform Umrah or Haj, please take heed of my experiences. Take care of your health so that at the same time you take care of others. This is ibadah. Avoid being selfish and self-centered.
One more thing, I hate going to toilets in airplane when there are so many pilgrims. They wet and dirty the toilets. Many Malaysians are not toilet trained. Islam allows simple ablution for prayer in situation like in airplane but many insisted to wash themselves in toilets. Hence the dirty and wet toilets which is quite dangerous. We should stop being closed-minded.
Thank you Maz for taking me to Umrah. May Allah bless you with good fortune and much happiness.

Islam is not only about aurat, it's about a way of life.