My little princess

Oh hello. I think it's a great idea......




















Alamak, salah cakap ke? Malunya!


















Yak, I don't care, I know I am right.


















OK. life is good especially when you are sitting on dad's hairy leg.








Seems like ages ago when I was on edge waiting for Ika in the delivery room at Pantai Hospital, Bangsar to welcome the birth of her first child and my first grandchild. There was also the excitement of bringing baby Rania into the real world call home. The little white wrinkly baby girl with closed eyes are now a bubbly and cooing 4 months old. I can't believe it when I see her and how she has grown. I see my daughter changed too, from depressed Ika during confinement to a proud mom today with wonderment in her eyes when looking at her daughter. My grand daughter, Rania is my source of pride who simply pins herself permanently in my heart. Wherever I go, it's Rania in my mind and every little baby looks like Rania to me. I pay a lot of attention to babies now, feeling delighted when I see the same characteristics in behaviour with Rania.

At 4 months, Rania is a wonderful baby with a happy disposition. She smiles a lot and her big eyes are always wide opened with curiousity. What thrill me most is the time she is in conversation with me with her baby babble, cooing, squeaking and sometimes shrill shrieks, especially when she is excited. Rania has the sweetest smile accompanied by huge twinkling eyes.









That's a cheeky smirk, so cute!












She loves being talked to and she responds with smiles and sequeks, and thumping of her feet. I often have serious conversation with her and understood her responses perfectly!







She is quite skillful at turning on her stomach but gets frustrated when she fails to turn on her back again and starts to whimper. With a little help she gets on her back, happy but the next moment expertly she turns on her stomach again. Rania learns fast. After a few help she will do it on her own like a pro.











Another of her favourite playmate - Miss gloworm.








At the moment, her favourite toy is Mr. Ulat, a present from auntie Anita and she loves to grab it and promptly brings it to her mouth as in the photo. A few times Mok lay down beside her and Rania conveniently grabbed hold of his bushy hair, refusing to let go but lovable Mok just kept quiet as if understood that Rania is just a tiny, helpless baby. I know Mok loves Rania and often plonks himself by her side, as if he is keeping watch over her.







Now, every time she is on her back, up come her legs, and her hands will pull them to her mouth. It was such a delightful sight. Bath time is a joy to watch.










Like most babies, she loves water and learning to splash the water with her hands and feet, sometimes sequels with delight. Soon, whenever she is bathed her mom also would get wet.
















When I am in PJ with her, I take her out to the garden to listen to the birds almost every morning. She is beginning to be aware of sound and the chirping and singing of the birds are a thrill to her. She is learning to listen intently to the sound. I enjoy seeing her sweet smile every time I sing ' Lompat si katak Lompat'. The rhythm and sound are already familiar to her. It was such a pleasure one day for me and Ika when she tried to move her head left and right when I sang ' laaa..ilaahaillallah' repeatedly. Rania has a good temperament. She is friendly, not scared of strangers, always alert and curious, smiles a lot and loves anybody to hold her and basks in the attention - not a difficult baby to take care of.

A contented baby in the morning, she coos, gurgles and makes all kinds of noise talking to herself or shrieks excitedly anticipating to be lifted up. She prefers to be on sitting position and when lying down Rania will lift her head high (good exercise for stomach tightening!) begging to be lifted up.
Physically, Rania is strong and compact, not a plump baby.
Many of the characteristics that she shows are as in the developmental theory of a 4 month old infant.






Rania with adoring auntie, Mak Yang.













So you see, I am a grandmother. I can go on and on about my little princess Rania, the most exciting thing that happens in my life. Bear with me. Every grandmother will think that her grandchild is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am no different. I took hundreds of photos of her almost everyday and now she knows that when somebody holds a camera at her direction that means picture-taking and posing.
Rania, my adorable, gorgeous little princess, love you soooooo much!!!

Training Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya (PRS)

I am proud that many of my ex-students and counsellors are reviving the peer helping program or better known as Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya (PRS). Amidst enthusiasm, I do have some concerns about how PRS are trained, the trainers themselves and the goals they want to achieve. I received a lot of feedback - some very encouraging and some very disappointing. As the Founder of the program, I am concerned that the basic concept does not derail from the original principle.

Common comments that I heard is that PRS program is not working. To me whether the PRS play their roles or not depends on the trainers themselves and how they are trained to be trainers. If their PRS are not functioning , then the counsellors or the trainers should look at the way they trained the students, the modules they used, the follow-up activities they conducted and the monitoring of PRS and the projects that they do. Many counsellors seemed to train their students in ad hoc basis with no follow-up training, lack of monitoring, and minimal guidance. If this is the case, the counsellors or trainers should be careful not to blame PRS or the program. In fact the fault lies on themselves - no proper training as trainers, misunderstanding of role of PRS, lack of commitment and minimal understanding on how the program benefits the students. Many individuals are ready to highlight the negatives but refuse to look at the positive aspect, even among counsellors themselves.

The followings are a few tips that can help those interested in PRS program to enable it to be successful.

1. Not all counsellors can be good PRS trainers and not all of them are interested. Those interested and committed should be trained and the training is not just a one day workshop with an expectation that they would become experts. In 1989 - 1993, by Ministry of Education's funding, and with the help of other professionals, I conducted 3 month full-time courses for master trainers at Institute Aminuddin Baki where I was attached to at that time. They in turn trained school counsellors from all over the country for a full time one week course. This seems to be just a history now. So training of trainers for PRS program is crucial.
2. Counsellors who are interested and committed to the program, should find other alternatives if training is not provided. Use structured group work as a base to draw your module and strategy. I know counsellors trained in Unimas are comfortable in this as they have been trained in conducting structured group work in their coursework. Read books on the subject. The focus of training is experiential learning. Do not lose hope and give up. Ask help from those who have experience.
3. Proper paper should be written with clear objectives and goals, procedure etc. as record so that everyone is clear of the purpose of the program and its creditability.
4. Ethics of PRS and the trainers should be well expressed and explained.
5. Select your PRS carefully based on your needs and believe. Training academically excellence students is good but look at their social circle and relationship. Average students could find the program as a motivation to achieve. Underachievers could gain self-confidence and drive to do better. Counsellors should use the program to help students to be better individuals and establish a sense of pride of one's achievements. Be specific on your strategy of selecting your PRS.
5. Design, adopt and adapt modules to meet your objectives. The approach of training is experiential learning. Make sure the training is fun.
6. Prepare evaluation forms for feedback on your training skills, skills and knowledge gained and areas to be improved. Evaluate yourself honestly and improve as you go along.
7. Schedule regular meetings once a month, at least, for reinforcement and sharing. Stress on confidentiality. If time is a constrain, use 'mesyuarat nasi bungkus' strategy during their lunch break.
8. Bear in mind, PRS are NOT counsellors and their training is more on how to be effective friends with good listening skills - not counselling skills.
9. PRS need to keep proper records of their activities with regular checking and discussion by the counsellors on issues they need guidance. Encourage them to keep record of their activities.
10. Enhancing further skills and knowledge is important and all PRS should have regular short trainings as top-up in various skills such as leadership, decision-making, mentoring friends negotiation, public speaking etc.
11. Rope in other colleagues or counsellors who are interested in promoting students' welfare as supporters and backup personnel and train them or get them involved in activities and training. They are valuable assets as help in organizing activities.
12. Any behaviour contrary to ethics and principles of the program should be discussed with PRS before action is taken.
13. Recruitment of new PRS should involve the experienced PRS and proper supervision on the training should be done by counsellors.
14. Prepare strategy of acknowledgment to PRS as an appreciation of their contribution such as monetary reward, certificates, points, outings or special acknowledgment. This is important.

All the above points, I have written in detail in my books (though old but they are still relevant).
1. Boleh Saya Tolong Anda? First published 1989. ( The first book on Peer Helping written in Malay). My old publisher has agreed to update this book together with my 2 other books - Kaunseling Dalam Pengurusan and Anda OK!















2. Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya - Langkah Seterusnya. This book is still available through my publisher, IBS Buku Sdn Bhd. Call Balan 012 6514683 for enquiry and order.
















3. Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya - Modul Latihan Asas, 1993, published by Kementerian Pendidikan written by me with a few co-writers. You can find it in libraries or borrow from older counsellors.















4. Buku Rekod Aktiviti Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya which I wrote in 1993 and published by Kementerian Pendidikan. I suspect the book is still available in Kementerian Pelajaran with unethical new printing. Check with counsellors in Kementerian or Jabatan Pelajarn Negeri. Look for the green cover, not the purple one.













5. Perkembangan Bimbingan dan Kaunseling: Pendekatan yang Praktis, translated by me, written by Dr. Robert Myrick and published by Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka in 1993. This book is not printed anymore but can be found in DBP or libraries. Bob Myrick wrote some chapters about Peer helping which could help counsellors here in Malaysia.













6. Fasilitator Kelompok Kecil, I wrote and published in 2004 and still available from IBS Buku Sdn Bhd. Please call Balan for enquiries and order 012 6514683. This book helps counsellors to select suitable activities and games for PRS training.















7. Pengenal Kaunseling Kelompok, a book I wrote in 1989 but has been updated many times. The latest updating was in 2009 and still available at IBS Buku Sdn. Bhd. Call Balan. A good reading for counsellors to reftresh memories on group counseling.















Besides these books I have also written articles in newspapers and journals about the program and its management and impact. All materials in PRS program which I introduced while working in Institute Aminuddin Baki have been handed over to the library. I am not sure whether the materials are still kept intact there. Other source is in Pusat Dokumentasi in Kementerian Penyelidikan ( please check on name). I personally handed over some materials to the officer in charge in 1993 when I left IAB for Bahagian Sekolah-Sekolah, Kementerian Pendidikan. As a last resort some materials on PRS may be found in my personal file in the National Archive.

I wish my ex-students and other counsellors and individuals the very best of luck in conducting this program. Your dedication and interest will bear fruits sooner than you expect. Please let others who are not very sure on what to do about starting PRS program to read my blog and to get my books and other relevant books as a guide. I am also available for short discussion or short consultation through email: zuraidah.rahman@gmail.com

Above all, never forget to acknowledge your PRS' contributions. So prepare strategies of appreciations such giving monetary rewards, extra points, outings, formal announcements or any other forms of appreciation. Both PRS and counsellors need to be appreciated and acknowledged in order to maintain motivation.

May God bless you all. Good luck.

Visit Japan 4 - Mt. Fuji area

Japanese landscapes taken from running bus.




Taking a bus from Niigata city to Tokyo was much more comfortable than taking a train which we had to stop somewhere to connect to another train to the city. Having a heavy luggage made it more difficult. Traveling by bus took us about 5 hours with scenic landscapes along the way and the fare is Yen 4,000 one way. I was awake most of the way enjoying the beautiful sights of green padi fields, valleys and mountains.
We arrived in Tokyo in the evening with Hiro waiting for us. It was really a hot day about 39 degrees C. I saw 2 guys collapsed and an ambulance rushed there within minutes. I met a few American youngsters distributing Christian CDs, books and pamphlets. I had a short conversation with a 14 year old high school girl from Taxes who did this missionary work voluntarily. I declined the offer for the CDs and pamphlets explaining that I am a Muslim and will always be.

Hiro has decided to take me to see holiday retreats around Mt. Fuji. I believe if I ever come with a tour group we might not have the opportunity to come to these places. I was happy and grateful for Hiro and family for this experience. I noticed the landscape along the way was very attractive, decorated with mountains and valleys but unfortunately I wasn't able to take passing photographs because of the high walls along the highway blocked our views. I guess this is for safety reason, discouraging motorists from being distracted. We passed pretty traditional Japanese villages too.

The first stop was at Lake Kawaguchi, a mountain lake, around which there are a number of holiday resorts and hotels. The scenery, like many other lakeside views, is very calming and pleasant.










A booking was made for Yen 6,000 per person in a bed and breakfast facility near Lake Kawaguchi, Ankigahara ( hope I spell it right!) , called Sumeiso. It was a delightful experience for me.











An enchanting experience for me to stay in a typical Japanese bedroom with kimono style pajamas, Japanese spa, ate delicious Japanese dinner and breakfast. It was exciting and I love every moment spent there. Japanese hospitality and politeness are very charming and we took photos with the owner the next day.



















Sashi, son Hiro and daughter-in-law Chunja at dinner table at Sumeiso.












Dinner - Miso soup, tempura, rice, fried salmon, fresh fish, pickled and an assortment of veges. a huge peach as dessert.







We drove to Lake Shoujin where a lot of people fishing and later at Lake Motosuko. Of course the scenery around these lakes are bewitching and calming.

We moved on to Narusawa Ice Cave. I was curious. According to the information board the temperature in the cave is constantly 0 degree and ice slabs would not melt. By the time I was out of the cave, my fingers felt numbed.












I had the opportunity to see blueberry plants found planted in large numbers in huge pots at the car park. That delighted me as I love blueberry for my eyes.















Hiro attempted to take me to Fujigogome, the nearest lookout point to view Mt Fuji. But it was Sunday and the traffic was 6 miles long. We abandoned the effort and I went to the next lookout but the cloud was so thick, it hid the view of Mt. Fuji - not a good day to visit Mt. Fuji. Maybe Mt Fuji will beckon me again some day!




Suffice taking photo at a big bilboard of Mt. Fuji.








The drive back to Chiba was smooth though a lot of cars on the highway.
We stopped at Hakone and later proceed to Awaku-tani valley or popularly known as Hell Valley.






The cable car at Hell valley.




I wasn't prepared for the long walk to the underground geysers up the hills. My old comfortable walking shoes have begun to give way. The pungent smell of sulfur is quite strong and streams of tourist converged to the place. Eggs dipped for 30 minutes in the hot bellowing spring, boiled hard and turned black but it tasted the same anyway.












With Sashi.















Awaku-tani's attraction - bellowing underground geysers.








The highway was packed with cars returning to Tokyo but the drive was smooth with nobody cutting in and out indiscriminately. We arrived in Chiba at Hiro's apartment tired and happy. Thank you Hiro, Chunja and Sashi for the incredible sight-seeing you took me to.

Visit Japan 3 - Niigata and Chiba

I spent 3 days in Niigata at Sashi's house and met her charming husband, Toshi. I really like their Japanese garden though small but well crafted. In the evening of 17 July, both of them took me to Fukushimagata Nature Park which was about 15 minutes drive from their house. A hot day, I declined to take a walk around the lake but it would be marvelous in spring or autumn. I was charmed by the old traditional Japanese house there with thatched roof, open guest and tea area. The show house is near a lake and green rice field.


























Sashi told me in spring the field around the lake and the traditional house there turned to be yellow full of wild flowers as in the photo curtsy of Sashi.
The photos she took last spring made me think of coming to Niigata again some day for the yellow wild flowers and cherry blossom or sakura. It must be a great sight to see field of wild flowers and rows of cherry blossoms blooming profusely.









The area around this lake and around the the old traditional house is decorated by yellow wild flowers which became a tourist attraction in spring. Even without the wild flowers the view is still great















With Toshi at Fukushimagata lake or lagoon.














Blue hyndrangea or Ajisu in Japanese grow in abundance around the lake and everywhere else.











The second visit to Fukushimagata Nature park was on 23 July on the other side of the park where for the first time I saw Devil Lotus or Oni lotus, a rare specie. The leaves are so huge, wrinkly and thorny on the back of the leaves and the flowers are tiny, blue-purple in colour. I picked up a medium size leave which have been cut and held it for photograph.

The road of the park was lined with cherry blossom trees flanked with green rice field and the lake.








Oni lotus or Devil lotus with tiny bluish-purple in colour, almost comical to the huge leaves.




















Young leave of oni lotus.















Our slow drive took us to hydrangea flowers and pink lotus grow in abundance. The house owners living opposite the park enjoyed the beautiful view and no one attempted to destroy or steal the lotus. How nice if the same asituation exists in Malaysia without the presence of greedy hands.
























































Beside nature park, Sashi took me to Farmers Markets in Niigata. It was also something different from the farmers market in Malaysia. The farmers sell their own produce and their photos or explanation of their produce was exhibit together with their produce. It was amazing to see real fresh vegetables and they look huge, so delicious.















A farmer's produce at the farmers market.














Leek or welsh onion grown at a farm near a farmers market.











On 26 July, as the hot summer sun was sheltered by thick cloud, the weather became cool and pleasant and good for walking. Sashi and I with Hiro, went for walk in a beautiful nature park in Chiba, the Ibanuma Lake. Again the walking path was lined with cherry blossom trees and blue hydrangea flowers or Ajisai in Japanese. One side of the lake is green rice field where there is a Dutch windmill built in 1994 as a symbol of goodwill between Japan and the Netherlands. It was the first wind-driven water pump in Japan.

























Engrossed with flower seeds.












With Hiro, Sashi's son at the windmill.









It was a refreshing walk to prepare our appetites for my farewell Japanese dinner at Shouya Japanese Restaurant in Chiba - a typical Japanese food with uncooked fresh fish and vegetables. The taste is definitely different and more fresh than what we got in Malaysia. I just love the fresh salmon and the Japanese green beans.