A case of healthy aging

I took a long promised trip to visit my very close friend since university days, Sofiah and her husband, Omar. Though we have lost touch with each other for so many years ( I was in Kuching) our friendship never wavered. Both of them are retired and left their city home to go back and live in their kampung in Jitra, kedah.




To keep themselves occupied, they rear turkeys and ayam kampung for sale. It's quite a big change from their usual occupations, a school principal and a Company Director. But they were happy and have no intention to come back and live in PJ. Their big house is empty as children got their own houses and they are contemplating of selling it.






Elegant profile of Australian turkey (Nicholas), big, white and colourful head (males). 221111


















A male ( bigger and more colourful) and a female local turkey - black fetheared at Sofiah's and Omar's farm in Jitra.










Male local turkey.
















When I looked at them I am pleased that they choose to stay in a quiet, serene place with open green padi field and a river flowing through it. Though far from modern facilities, Jitra town is just a stone throw away. But they are griping over the lack of government attention who promised to upgrade the lives of simple kampung folks. It's still lacking. There's no telephone line and therefore internet is not within reach. How can poor kampung children become computer savvy and be able keep up with the rapid movement of modern technology. Many Malay youths become dropouts and are left behind in term of education and opportunities.
My friends have very good intention of helping the poor forgotten Malay kampung children. Their life in retirement is focused on helping the unfortunates. They plan to build a simple hall adjoining their kampung house to attract children to come for tuition free of charge. They hope they can play a part in uplifting the spirit of the kampung folks to achieve higher. Not a rich couple, they are willing to work hard to make their dream a reality.





Taken at Sofiah's kampung with green padi field as the background. 241111.










Since the day was sunny, Sofiah took me to Kubang Pasu nearby to visit the Puteri Lindungan Bulan's grave. This is a historical site about Kedah history being conquered by Acheh whose king wanted to marry the white-blooded Kedah princess. The Sultan opposed the idea and hid his daughter in a well with her ladies-in-waiting with enough food. But when Acheh attacked Kedah the Princess was left there with no food and eventually died. The legend tells that during full moon the the well was shaded, thus kept the princess safe from the enemies.



I guess it's a big change from a life in a corporate world to a life of simple kampung folk. But they are happy and fully occupied.
Hence, the turkey and ayam kampung farming to supplement their income. Beside that, Sofiah collects and sells used clothes and gets herself involved in direct selling. The money earn goes to the bulding and maintenance of the madrasah. If anybody is interested to help and contribute for amal jariah, please contact me - HP 019 857 5188.






A former school principal and a senior education officer turned farmer in retirement. Sofiah with her ayam kampung and itik nila.










Feeding time. Their ayam kampung roam free in their farm and never short of food.













Green rice field is soothing to the eyes. At Kubang Pasu, Kedah. 231111.









A scenery that needs to be appreciated - blue mountains, kampung houses snuggled among trees and green padi field. Taken on the way to Kulim. Beautiful, stunning, gorgeous!











Tasik Mengkuang in Kulim, Kedah in the evening. 251111.








The rain poured in Jitra on 22 and 23 November. I was worried in case it floods. The river water near their house is high almost touching the bank.










I don't want to be stranded because of flood and decided to cut short my visit and go to Kulim to meet Fuziah, my traveling friend. Her sister, Tan, came to join us and we went to Tasik Megkuang for a simple evening picnic to enjoy the view.






Sisters Fuziah and Tan at Tasik Mengkuang. 251111.







It was a well-worth visit though heavy rain spoiled my plan. But I got to see the inner sight of my beautiful country and hope no citizen of this country would destroy it by selfish means. There are many more places in Malaysia that I would like to visit, and experience the varied way of life and learn through it. Syukur alhamdulillah, I am given time to enjoy my beloved country.

Istiqamah

When I returned from Kuching to get involved in Kampung Tunku, Petaling Jaya mosque which is a door away from my house, I was roped in to be the Secretary of Program Bersedekah Secara Istiqamah of the women's section of the mosque. From experience, I worked very well with Datin Hasmah, the chairperson of the program. I have worked with her in the mosque's project of helping children at risk in Kuang. It has been a rewarding project with a number of kampung children completed secondary schools instead of being drop-outs. Unfortunately in 2001 I left for Unimas in Kuching and the project stopped with no follow-up. It was quite a costly project. At the moment with limited funds and limited committed volunteers, the project was buried.
However, a few women were still interested to help the unfortunate, thus the program Bersedekah Secara Istiqamah was introduced in 2006.
Frankly, I didn't have the faintest idea why the program is so named and what istiqamah is all about. But happily I joined in to contribute whatever I can. Slowly I began to understand the purpose which is very much into my heart. I Googled Istiqamah for the exact meaning. In short, it means steadfastness, that is, going straight to the right direction, acting rightly allowing no deviation. That sounds good and apt to what the program is doing.
Saydina Abu Bakr says istiqamah is 'that you do not associate partners with Allah.' Whereas Uthman ibn Affan explained, 'To have ikhlas to Allah only in doing actions.' and ibn Abbas said, 'It means to fulfill your duties to Allah.' What matters most are the sincerity and commitment to helping others with no ulterior motives.
Istiqamah also indicates how to remain steadfast, such as,
1. Keep in the company of good people.
2. Keep connected to Al Quran through recital, studying and implementation.
3. Reflect and question yourself daily, for example, are you heading on the right way, is your intention sincere?
4. Learn to take good advice from others.

I hope I will be able to do the best I can in helping the unfortunate with clear conscience and sincerity in my heart. Syukur alhamdullillah, up to now I have not wavered as I believed I could contribute so little to make a better world.
The Istiqamah program collects contribution in term of money as well as materials. On 29 May 2011 we had our jumble sale, selling used clothes and other things. We collected over RM1,000. Besides that we also accept monthly or yearly monetary contributions from kind individuals. From these collections, we distribute it to identified orphanages, old folk homes and poor individuals as well helping paying tuition fees for children who are in need. We also welcome individuals who would like to pay their zakat to deserving people in our list of contacts.

Program Istiqamah has a Used Clothes Shop situated at the lower ground level of the mosque. We received a lot of good branded clothes and anybody is welcome to donate. Unfortunately, the non-muslims steer clear of coming maybe due to fear of it's location in the mosque. We welcome anybody to the shop as it not in the mosque proper but at lower level where the sundry shop and other activities are carried out. At the moment opening of the shop is quite erratic because we don't have volunteers to man it but we aim to open it regularly at least every Friday. We need volunteers who can come regularly to open the shop at least for a few hours each day.

We still have a lot to do so that we can make the shop attractive and sale increases with committed volunteers to man it.



To readers of this blog, I think this is a good way for your istiqamah.

Healthy philosophy of aging

I received a number of articles and email forwards about graceful aging. Interestingly enough, many of those pointers are ones that I am practicing and believe in. I am grateful that many friends remember to remind me to be positive about aging and I hope many others will follow suit if not already done so. To the young ones, you can manage your looks and health but not the number. Even though age is only a number, you can't deny it's there and it's a good indicator of where you are in this life. So, there is no need to hide from the actual number or fool people by giving false lesser numbers. Being afraid or ashamed to admit your real age reflects the state of your mind. There is nothing to be ashamed of being 25, 30, 40, 58 or 70 or more. The higher the number the more experience you have about life and the more life stories you can tell.


On the brink of 70, I am feeling good about myself and thankful that Allah has given me such good life. I hope He will continue letting me grace this world until such time He wants me to go - gracefully. I am not rich, I don't have perfect children, I don't have many friends and I don't have people who will die for me but I am happy with what I have right now. Whether I am right or wrong, I am at peace with myself. Don't get me wrong. There are times I feel low, there are times I feel frustrated and there are times I feel unfulfilled but those times are far and few and when I feel their presence, I overcome it instantly.


As I discussed with Jin, my traveling friend, I don't want to be a grumpy old lady. I almost got into that habit when I find faults with everything and with people around me, especially with my children whom I love dearly. I want to be a fun grandma with Rania and my coming grandson. I am in the process of learning - of not being critical. My poor Ika. When I am in my not so good mood, she always gets the heat. Forgive me my love, I promise to quit and hope you'll tell me when I am unbearable.


I receive many compliments that I don't look my age and many ask for tips. I don't have any magic mantra but I have a few life pointers that I keep. I am sharing some here - for better or for worse.


1. I keep away from people who give negative aura. I'd rather terminate my friendship or relationship than continue interacting with them which pulls my self-worth down. To me negative people are toxic to my mind and it affects me mentally, emotionall and psychologically. So I keep away from them.


2. I keep away from people who judge me on spiritual level. Ordinarily I don't wear hijab but if people judge me of being less Muslim and preach or sindir me for not covering my head, then it's their problem. It's between me and Allah and who are they to think that they are better Muslims. Being with these people doesn't make me feel good, so I keep away and interact with people who accept me as I am.


3. To forgive and forget is a false concept - easy to say but hard to do. Is it easy just to forgive and forget people who have done harm to you? Hei, we have hearts and mind and the brain registers all experiences. I don't forgive and forget easily but I am able to put aside negative experience away at the back of my mind and move forward. I don't allow past experience to interfere in what I want to do. I am a strong believer in Gestalt - What is past is past, the future we don't know but the present is important. So taking care of the present for better future is important to me. Focusing on unpleasant past experiences will only paralyse you from moving forward.


4. I am not a raving beauty but taking care of my complexion is important. I'd rather spend money on good skin care products than buying expensive branded clothes. I can't fight wrinkles but I can minimise it.


5. I don't allow myself to linger on 'what ifs' but more on what else do I want to do. I occupy my time with activities that I enjoy and cultivate new hobbies. I spend much time traveling outside and inside the country, I enjoy gardening and I have new hobby - keeping Rania's selected monthly photos so that she can see her growth. I love to visit foreign countries but seeing and getting to know my own country is more rewarding.


6. What is successful aging if I don't have good health. I go for regular medical checkup, eat healthy food though sometimes I do binge on ice-cream, snacks and choclates. I do exercise on moods, that's why I am gaining weigh. I fully realize that I need to get back to my exercise routine. Now I fully accept my glaucoma and taking good care of it so that my eye pressure doesn't go up. I hope my sight will stay with me till the end of my days.


7. I get upset when I read violence and racial conflicts in newspapers. So I avoid reading newspapers though I lose in terms of recent events. I dislike reading email forwards about Malay bashing from insensitive non-Malay friends. So I just delete them. It's not worth letting it affect my peace of mind. Those are stupid people and not real friends.


8. Being financially independent keeps me secured and free from worry. So managing your money according to your means is crucial for successful aging. Scrimping and begging for financial help from children, husbands or relatives will make you feel worthless. Earn your living, enjoy the fruit of your labour but save for your future. It will make you healthier and happier.

9. I enjoy little fun episodes in my life and can laugh or giggle to myself. I dislike watching films or TV movies on any kind of violence to people or animals beacuse it upsets and saddens me. So I watch comedies, family stories and read light life stories. I avoid congested place as it gives me headache and I hate driving in KL struggling with a lot of impatient and rude drivers. In other words, I try to avoid any stressful situations so that I don't suffer from anxiety.

10. I don't crave for material possessions. The more harta you have the more headaches you suffer. I minimize my belongings. I am happy having a roof over my head which belongs to me and a small car which can carry me wherever and whenever I want to go anywhere. Life is more stress free for me.

11. I give a lot of hugs and love to significant people in my life especially my children and grandchild, and I talk to my plants. They make me happy. I still miss Mok but have accepted that he's not coming back.

These are a few things that I do to make my life wortrh living. One failure doesn't make life failure. As Rania says, ' Oso says try again' and she is only 19 months old.

God creates life and what is life without challenges.

Aidil Adha 1432 - 6 Nov 2011

Izrin lovingly feeds Rania with yoghurt which she loves.



Another year passed and syukur alhamdullillah, I am still here enjoying, observing and participating on the goings on in my little world. Aidil Adha reminded me of my Arafat experience during my second Hajj in 2009. I hope things are better there and has improved to make the process of Hajj more spiritually satisfying and fulfilling. I read Aminah Wadud's Hajj blog on her experience of Hajj as a single woman. It was vivid and eye-opening. I love the way she writes, very skillful in explaining her inner feelings and thoughts. She taught in UIA for awhile and I was lucky to have the opportunity to interact with her while she was in Malaysia. I really recommend both males and females to read her account with open minds.


As usual, celebration of Hajj was done in a very small and personal way with my children. Maz, Izrin and Haidi came to the house to celebrate together with Ika, Justin, Rania and me. No cooking for me this year. Ika and Maz worked together and decided to cook rendang daging and roasted chicken. After Raya prayer at Kg. Tunku mosque next door, we sat down together to enjoy our food. Having Rania really made things more cheerful as she became the center of everyone's focus.




Things quietened down in the afternoon when this little angel went in for her afternoon nap and promptly fell asleep. She had great fun playing with her Pak Su, Mak Su and Mak Yang.
















Piggy ride on Mak Yang's back.











Laughing gleefully, Rania stomped on Mak Yang's back.







Kg. Tunku mosque solemnized the korban ceremony on 7 November 2011 (Monday) sacrificing 18 cows. People came in big numbers to help but of course, some came with different intention. The women worked hard to cook and to cut the meat and put in 1 kg portion in plastic bags for distribution to needy people.
I stationed myself in one of the groups. We worked non-stop except for lunch, until all meat was neatly packed for distribution to people who helped. Unfortunately, as usual, those who just came without lifting a finger also made a claim. As a result those who really worked received only bones for soup. But they were happy for contributing their time and energy to make this korban process a success.







The women sat in small group to cut and weigh the meat for distribution.












The small group responsible to pack the cow bones for distribution. They were also baffled for not receiving any ribs to be distributed.













The men volunteers cutting cows leg for the women to pact in 1 kg plastic bags. This is a sight I wasn't keen to linger on.












Cutting the meat out with concentration by a man volunteer.
















A group of Bangladeshis came to help cut cow bones by machine. Some others maybe made use of this opportunity to make money by manipulating those who were sincere to help.








I left for home at 2.30 pm for zohor prayer and a much needed rest.
I must admit that slaughtering live cows is not my cup of tea but this is korban. I have to grit my teeth and volunteer in the name of Allah and hope He forgives me for shedding tears of pity and sadness in my heart. I have not been actively taking meat or chicken for quite a while, preferring fish, seafood and vegetables most time.
I didn't really know what was going on during the korban. I know that 18 cows slaughtered yielded a lot of meat but yet it was not enough. My neighbour complained, for the last 10 years, nobody knew where the ribs went as none of the workers got their share. She said, a few people saw the Bangladeshi volunteers carted off the ribs immediately after the slaughter and put them in their van. Nobody dared say anything. As usual they grumbled and gossiped after the event. I did ask why there weren't people supervising and monitoring the sedekah so that everyone had his/her share. Nobody could answer that. I wonder why this selfish attitude wasn't mention in the mosque meetings. Maybe I'll bring it up in the women's istiqamah next meeting.
Syukur alhamdullillah, everything went on fine. I salute those men and women who stayed till evening to clear the mess. May Allah bless them. I have to come home early as I expected visitors in the evening.

11111

Isn't it a beautiful series of numbers, number ones! Yes, I am number one today. I'm sure I share these special number Ones with so many other people today. So to all who share these number Ones, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a quiet day for me, in spite of phone conversation with friends who wished me happy birthday and answering several SMS, my issues about leaking pipe and neighbour's noisy pipe system are still not resolved. Different contractors gave me different views. I am so apprehensive that I have to hack my toilet wall tiles which I have just renovated, to find the leak. I have spent quite a sum of money renovating it. The old contractor who did the toilet refused to own up that it might be his workers' fault. I get so frustrated, not knowing what to do.
My happy moment was when Rania wished me 'epi bithday nenek' early in the morning and blew kisses through the phone. That made my day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZURAIDAH. MAY YOU HAVE MANY MORE BIRTHDAYS TO CELEBRATE IN GOOD HEALTH.