A look at our manners

In Unimas lecture theatre with 2009 internship students (counselling) ). 13 Oct 2008













As an invited lecturer at Unimas with Counselling Intenship students 2009. 12 Oct 2008.








I have issues on habits of some Malaysians. I think a lot of us have poor listening skills or we love to hear our own voice too much. Look around when you attend talks or ceramah. Check how many people are actually listening to what the speakers say. Maybe we could check ourselves whether we have this unbecoming habit or bad manners. It is sheer rudeness when a person talks and we are busy talking to our friends at the same time. Can't we wait until the speaker finishes delivering his/her piece?

I attended a Haj course at Masjid Jamek, Port Dickson. I went faithfully every Saturday except when I wasn't in PD. The course provides valuable information on the Haj process. I was keen to refresh my memory by this course as I performed my Haj in 1984 - a long time ago. But I wonder sometimes what was the purpose of some of those people who attended this course or to any ceramah for that matter. Many didn't listen!! They talked and their voices interrupted my concentration, it was really irritating! As a result I moved places several times to the back, away from the group of talking ladies. It looked like I was anti-social.

What goes in the mind of some people with this bad habit? Even if you gave a big stare or shooed them politely, they just ignored it and continued talking. I remember in 2005 when Unimas organized a counselling seminar in Kuching, we had a dinner for the participants. The guest speakers that night were a Sarawak Minister and the Deputy Vice Chancellor. During their speeches, the noise in the hall was like in a pasar borong (honestly) - nobody listened, everybody was busy talking and moving from table to table. I felt sorry for our guests speakers. If it were me, I wouldn't continue and would cut my speech short. It was sheer waste of time speaking when a pasar malam was going on. It was unbelievable. Our guests from US, Dr. Robert Bowman and wife were so shocked to see that everybody was busy talking and moving around. None seemed to listen except a few in the front tables. What bad manners!!!

I spoke up the next day about our shameful behaviour and later, I received an unsigned letter or surat layang condemning me for critisizing. The excuse given was everybody was excited meeting old friends. Was that a logical, valid and intelligent reason for being rude? I was accused for sucking up to Americans and said he/she couldn't care less about our Mat Saleh guests. That came supposedly from an educated person who gave excuses for bad behaviuor. I hoped the person was not a counsellor.

I disregarded the letter as I thought unsigned letter actually came from a sick mind who was chicken to confront me face-to-face, a pengecut. It was a shame actually when we had people who were so defensive and thought they were right, no matter how bad their behaviour was. I was sure he/she was one of the culprits. What a shameful behaviour!!! I hope my students and whoever read this blog will remember, respecting and listening when a person delivers his/her presentation means good manners. If you want to talk because you are excited or have urgent stories to tell, it is only polite if you go outside and do the talking there. Please listen and give respect when a person talks, especially if you attend seminars, conferences or any ceramahs.

One way I used to do to avoid talking was to sit in front rows of seats. Friends used to tease and ridicule me for choosing front seats and said I wanted my face to appear in TV. It didn't bother me. Good, if it did but most of the time I didn't even know or bother about the TV thing. I just knew what I wanted to do. Another unhealthy habit in seminars, talks etc, is avoiding sitting in the front rows and leaving the seats empty. Most chose to be backbenchers. Why is it sitting in the front rows is so intimidating? Are we so lacking in self-confidence that sitting in front seats make us feel malu or scared? Malu or scared for what? This is a displaced malu. But we are not malu if we practice unacceptable behaviour. Why????

I hope my students become the agent of behavioural change in showing confidence and respect for themselves and others. I know this is a tall order but I have hope. I wish them all the best in their lives especially in making choices. Good luck.

Not a Good Day

It's not a good day today. I have to fork out RM 300 for nothing but to pay a fine for speeding!! I received 2 police summons on Friday when I came back to my apartment in PD. I need to change my road tax on 19 May. If I don't pay or delay payment, I am in trouble. So faithfully I went to PD Police station to pay the fine hoping I'll get a discount or something. Fat hope!!!

The policeman in-charge at first said I could pay RM200 but he has to check the computer first to confirm. Sadly he apologized and said I have to pay the full amount of RM300 and the he turned the monitor towards me to read. It was black!! He said I was caught during OPs Sikap on 1 February at the highway to Seremban before the toll. Tiada maaf bagimu. The speed limit was 80 and I did 98!! He can't help me. Oh my God, I didn't realise that I drove over the speed limit thinking highway speed limit is 110km. Actually I am not a fast driver. Most of the time I obeyed the speed limit. In 2006, I had to pay RM300 for speeding 80 at 70 km speed limit in Sri Aman, Sarawak and since then I have been clean. I think I am a careful driver but luck was not on my side that day. I must be rushing back to PD from PJ after internship supervision the previous day.

The other summon letter is for illegal parking in PJ which I paid RM30 immediately after I returned from NZ. I hope my name is not in the police traffic blacklist.

I am adjusting to driving in KL. I really hate driving in this nightmare city. The drivers are so impatient and rude. The claim that Malaysians are warm and friendly are false. Once they are behind the wheels, they become pontianak in human clothimgs. I hate them when they honk for the slightest fault like driving not as fast as they want you to. The motorcyclists are another nuisance. I think we should ban motorcycles. They ride so fast and weaved through cars like supermen. They gave me quite a fright many times when they just overtake right in front of me. True what my American friend said a long time ago, Malaysians don't value their lives.

Every time I have to drive to KL, I have anxiety. I avoid driving there but the internship forced me to drive. If my appointment with students at 9 am, I have to leave my PJ house before 7 am in order to avoid the massive jam and supervision must be over the latest by 4.30pm. It was rush, anxiety, rush, anxiety........ Definitely not good for my heart. Thank God, internship is over!! Bye, bye KL. I don't want to see you again.

Internship-It's Over!!

The 28 students under my supervision.














Sorting out issues and giving support.





















































Something for me to remember them. Thank you.


























Internship Cake brought by Hanafi.









May 2009, all of you counselling interns 2009 from Unimas will remember. After much toiling, heartaches, almost giving up, tears and complaints for more than 5 months finally you completed this challenging part of your training. Congratulations to all of you. Now you can give a big pat on your shoulder and say ' Good ...............(say your name). You have done well!!'

Finally the intimidating 600 credit hours you have to fulfill, seemed not a big deal after all. I have told you, when you focused on the number. it became a burden. Now you have sailed through and gained so much experience which lecture halls couldnot give you. I see all of you have turned to be confident individuals and a few have secured jobs even before your convocation. Congratulations. I am definitely proud of you!!! I am addressing this blog not only to the 28 students I supervised in Semenanjung but also to all of you who did your intersnhip in Kuching. Don't forget to say a big thank to your supervisors there whose aimed was to help you get over this 'insurmountable task'. Like me, your supervisors also gave a sigh of relief, that it is over. They experienced stress too just like you did.

For my 28 interns in Semenanjung, we had a last group meeting in Selayang Hospital on 8 May 2009. Thank you to Fazlin who organized our group meetings in MMU (with Adneeda), in BMI (Fazlin) and in Selayang Hospital (with Faridah and Noraini). Eja led the group meet on sorting out issues, giving support to everyone and sharing information on job openings. The purpose of this meeting for me is to fulfil the following intents:

1. To check whatever reports that I have not been able to check.
2. To provide a place and time for everybody to finish the unfinished business.
3. To give opportunity to bade farewell.
4. To convey my hope and good wishes.

Believe me, after supervising all of you, I am so proud that you did well. I received so many favourable compliments about your performance from your site supervisors and some worked hard to get you absorbed into the organization. As for me, I saw everyone developed from a student, very unsure of himself/herself into a young man and woman who is confident and knows what he/she should do and could do.

These are the gists of my message I delivered for all of you.

1. A piece of paper, that is, you degree doesn't mean the end of your learning, in fact, it is the beginning of your leaning - about real life. Continue your education, read and sharpen your skills.
2. You are trained to understand and empathise feelings. Keep away from hurting and destroying other people's happiness. When you hurt people, think what you would feel if you were in that person's position.
3. Take care of your self-dignity or maruah diri. Once you did something stupid out of lust or desire, the guilt or shame will follow you right to your old age.
4. Never allow anyone make you feel small. You have self-respect. Evaluate your relationship. if it is toxic, keep away.
5. Respect yourself. Behave as you said other people should behave. Avoid preaching for other people to behave right but your behaviour is contrary to what you preach. Your attitude 'I am holier than thou' is not commendable, in fact it is disgusting.
6. Please do not make a mockery of our religion and use it as an excuse for your unacceptable behaviour.
7. Believe in yourself and hold on to your personal and professional ethics.
8. Do not just wait for government jobs, work and grab opportunity available and make it a success.
9. Be committed to your jobs. Respect time and make your positive behaviour and attitude as role-model for other people to emulate, especially for young people.

Good luck and May Allah Bless you all. I am also bidding farewell to Unimas counselling students. This is my last supervision. I need to enjoy my retirement. With much love from me.

My secrets (PRS and vege juice)

On 5 May 2009, En. Kamil, counsellor Sekolah Menengah Vivikananda came to pick me up from my house in PJ to Taylor's College in Sri Hartamas. It was quite a rush day. I just came back from supervising student at Darul Kifayah, Sentul. I was requested to talk to 100 PRS from schools in Bangsar Zone. Of course I cannot say No to request like that. PRS program is in my heart forever. Anyway it was a pleasure interacting with young people and to see fresh faces. Having young people around me makes me feel young as you transmit your energy to me which strengthen my stamina. I just hope you, PRS, understand my message and make this country a better place to live in your time. Thank you to all the PRS, especially the counsellors who nurture their PRS. Good luck.

As usual, I was asked many times how do I keep my stamina and my complexion in good condition, considering my age. Honestly, I don't have any secrets. As at this moment I am so grateful to God for giving me good health and good life. At my age, good health becomes the primary goal. I am good now but I am not sure about the near or distant future. I leave it in Allah's hand. Really, though I look energetic and healthy, I do feel tired sometimes, particularly when I pushed myself and I become stressed. I know it's not good for me, so I'll do all I can to get away and destress myself. Staying quietly in my apartment in PD is therapy.

It started when I was in Kuching. Cooking has never been my favourite past time. I avoid the kitchen if possible. But living alone, I have to cook as buying cooked halal food in Kuching was not so easy. I know my body needs nutrients from vegetables. So to fulfill the need I juice whatever vegetables available in my fridge. My friends from KL who came to visit used to tease me how lazy I was. Yes, I am lazy to cook and cooking is such a hassle. So, short cut - juice the vegetables and lived with bread or a simple meal.

Hence, drinking vegetable juice has become a habit. Because of my glaucoma, I make sure I have carrots and spinach as well as cabbage. I juice the veges almost everyday but I supplement with fiber such as oat in the morning. In one of Oprah Winfrey shows, Dr. Oz advised the audience to drink a glass of vege juice for good health. Hei, I have been doing the right thing. It seems it pays to be lazy to cook!!

I suppose this is the answer to all the questions asked. I just had my blood test done and syukur alhamdullillah, everything is OK. Dr.Othman asked how I keep myself fit. The answer - vege juice, plus a bit of exercise of course ( I have not been excersing for months since internship!). Believe me I do have aches and pains here and there due to the aging process. Can't help it.

So, if you want to try why not but most will react unfavourably by making faces. Yes, the taste is yukky but it isn't so bad actually. Simply close your eyes and swallow.

This is what I do.

Cut any vegetables (greens are good). Put a thumb size ginger and one or two garlics (optional). Cut an apple - a red one for sweetness or green one for sourish taste. I prefer the red apple. Juice it and drink immediately. No sugar.















Cut mixed fresh vegetables.


















Put in a juicer and juice it.










Don't throw the husk. Compost the hampas. It can be good fertiliser for your plants or flowers.

Enjoy trying.

So happy juicing vegetables.

New Zealand North Island 6 (Matamata)

29 March 2009, we left Rotorua early in the morning heading towards Matamata for a farm stay. On the way we stopped at Skyline Skyride in Fairy Springs Road in Rotorua We rode the gondolas to the top of the mountain overlooking Rotorua City and paid NZ$26 for each person.

From the top, we could see the distant geysers on the foot of the sky. It was a bright sunny day. Since Chom and Indra were so absorbed in shopping in the souvenir shop, I went walking alone, taking photos and exploring the sights.









I met a 60 year old man who encouraged me to go for a lug ride. Lug ride is where you got onto a kind of scooter and manouver it downhill on the track to the foot of the mountain, then take a chairlift up the mountaing again. I was debating whether to get a lug ride but the chairlift up the mountain intimidated me. I still remember falling down the chairlift in Queenstown, NZ South Island in 2002. So the fear was still with me. Now I do regret for not trying and overcoming that fear. Fear can inhibit you from doing what you want to do.







The intimidating chairlifts.













Overlooking the lug route down the mountain.











Auntie and niece in Skyline gondola going up the mountain.








The drive to Matamata was not as interesting passing through flat land all the way. In Matamata town we enquired at the Tourist Information Centre about a trip to Hobbotton. It costs NZ$58 each for that trip and we decided against it. Hobbotton is where they filmed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. The remnants of the original Hobbotton Village is still there. Since none of us is a fan of Lord of the Ring stories, we didn't miss a thing. Honestly, I didn't have the faintest idea what the story is all about and was never interested to watch.

Looking for Sue and Gordon Mckenzie Farmstay was quite a hassle. There was no signage or direction indicating the farm. We found ourselves lost but lucky we met nice and helpful people there. Finally we arrived at the farm during lunch on time. We wanted to make sure that we weren't late for lunch. Unfortunately there was a misunderstanding with the agent who arranged our stay. We weren't supposed to have lunch there. Had we known we could visit other places first and arrive later, get sandwiches or salad at a cheaper price in town. But since we were there, we were too polite to decline. But Sue, the host was a bubbly red-head and a friendly lady. We shared some amusing conversation and really had a fun getting-to-know-you session. Sue and Gordon have been hosting visitors in their farm for almost 8 years and have met many people from different countries. They have hosted Malaysians but this was the first time she hosted 3 talkative fun-loving travel-the-world lady senior citizens!!

Sue and Gordon have 2 children, Bradley and Lisa (16 & 15). They have quite a vast property including a farm in the south island. I like their farm - quiet and peaceful with clean unpolluted air.



Sue and Gordon McKenzie's farm house in Matamata.















Th.e barn











At dawn. The poles are lights for the tennis court.,











It was a fun farm stay. At 4pm we fed the farm sheep. It was thrilling even though I have fed sheep in Wales before but this time we could hug them, pat and play with them. They rushed for their food eating from our hands and we screamed and laughed like little kids. Their wool was hard and thick. I tried to ride on one but failed because he fled and my shirt was smeared with sheep saliva. I love the little lamb (remember, Mary has a little lamb) It was exciting!! I just wish the farm has more to offer like milking the cows, sheering the sheep, organis vegetables, fruits etc. We met Gordon that night when he returned from his work.




The thrill of feeding the sheep.












Chom and I playing with sheep.













Hei, Look at my perfect profile!!








We left the McKenzies the next morning. Sue and Gordon strongly recommended that we went to Gloworms Cave. I have seen these gloworms in Hokitika in NZ South Island but they said this gloworm cave is the biggest. So we decided to detour our route and visited the gloworm cave.

On the way, we stopped at Otorohanga Kiwi House. It was a good decision. There were other birds to see but in small scale but the attraction is the kiwi bird. Here we were able to see the birds more clearly as the show place was not so dark. Then only we realised that kiwi bird is polka-dotted and always busy pecking for food. This is the only specie that we saw.











In serious conversation with a bird at Otorohanga Kiwi House.






We left Otorohanga for Gloworm Cave but we were a little bit late and therefore have to wait for the next group tour. Visitors are not allowed to go alone. The cave is huge with a hall that can accomodate about 200 or more people. They have special private shows there too. The echo is good for opera singing, I guess.

We boarded a boat to cruise the river where the gloworms are. I was really in awe looking at the bright shining little stars on the roof of the cave - millions of gloworms stuck at the roof making it glittering. They are magnificent!!!! Hokotika cave was not as magnificent as this. In pitch dark, the park ranger manouvered the boat by holding on to a rope, turning the boat a few times for us to enjoy the fascinating sight. Only that particular stretch of cave roof the gloworms are found in abundance. Unfortunately photo-taking and videoing are prohibited.







This is the exit of the cave after the gloworms tour.









Happy, we left Gloworms Cave to proceed back to Auckland and passed quint Otorohanga town. The rows of shops were lined with hanging baskets of colourful impatients flowers.










The drive to Auckland was uneventful to me. Again I sat at the back and promptly fell asleep. We checked in Oakwood Manor again for the night. That night we were busy packing our bags and hoping it would not exceed the 20kg limit imposed by MAS. It was fun shopping but packing was always a problem. I still abide by my philosophy - minimize belonging and so didn't do much shopping except for some souvenirs. Since things were double in price compared to our RM, I think I spent buying souvenirs which I could do without. But tht was what travelling is all about.

30 March 2009, we left Oakwood Manor to the airport early and returned the rented car. At the airport we did more shopping. To our frustration we found things in the airport were cheaper than in regular shops in towns. I was so pleased that I found Bilberry and Eyebright supplements there and bought 2 packets which could last me 2 months. By the time I decided to buy another 3 boxes they were gone. I couldn't find this supplements in Malaysia and it is more expensive. Thank God, just recently I found Billberry and Eyebright supplemets in PD but at RM 74 per box it's definitely more costly. But it doesn't matter, I need these for my eyes.

Arrived KLIA safely and Chom's sons took me home. It was a really enjoyable holiday and I really like beautiful, clean NZ. I might go there again, to travel the part I have not covered, insyaallah. Thank you Chom and Indra for your company.

New Zealand North Island 5 (Rotorua)

28 March 2009, we were in Rotorua, a city famous for its tourist attractions. The road to Rotorua was narrow and winding going down the mountain with spectacular view of mountainside and pine tree forest.



Before reaching Rotorua city, we stopped at Arataki, a honey producing centre and bought a few jars of NZ honey. Manuka honey is rather expensive and famous. I thought Manuka is a brand name and was surprised that it is a name of a kind of flowers where the bees get the honey. The flowers are white and so small. The bees must make thousands of trips to get honey from these tiny flowers. I like the taste of Manuka honey but I enjoy more of Pohutukawa flowers, NZ national flower, found in abundance in Bay of Plenty. This is another eye-opening for me - not to take honey for granted!








We stayed 2 days in Rotorua but still, there were many places we couldn't visit. There was a special kind of smell in Rotorua - scent of sulphur due to many geothermal hotspots found in many places in the city, even in the park. There are bubbling hot mud pools, geysers and warm pools and the air was smokey with sulphuric substance. Rotorua is really something different, no wonder it is so famous.
















Rotorua Tourist Centre is already a welcome sight, unique in design. We checked in Cleveland Motel, a family owned motel with geothermal pool. That was the attraction. I wasted no time but quickly got into the warm pool at night when everyone was resting. The pool was mine alone. I felt like soaking my tired body for ever in there. The temperature is constant and so pleasant. It seems the geothermal pool is good to prevent meningitis. But Indra and Chom said they felt their bodies heavy and unsteady when they went in there and they got out fast. I didn't experience that effect but really enjoyed the warm temperature in a cold weather.







Rotorua Tourist Centre from the lake.














In this motel compound I saw 2 NZ national birds which are blue in colour with red beak called Pokeko. It's quite common and we saw a number along the road we travelled. From far I thought it is black but bright blue actually. There were a lot of roses too, blooming with variety of colours and of course my camera was full with roses taken at this motel.








That evening we spent our time at Rotorua Lake, clean and beautiful. I love to see the black swans swimming gracefully, sometimes they flocked together to get food thrown by visitors. There were so many different kinds of ducks - white, black, grey etc with generous number of seagulls. I was so fascinated by the scene and thought of Shah Alam Lake. The local authority, I heard, introduced a few ducks in the lake for people to enjoy but they disappeared the next day. I bet those ducks were sold and already on someone's plate. That's some Malaysian attitude - so selfish


and uncivic minded.






A scenery of Lake Rotorua, NZ.













Lake Rotorua inhibited by ducks of different species.
















Graceful black swans in Rotorua Lake.









The next day we spent our time at a Moari Village - Te Puia. We followed the free guided tour by Hannah who poked on us to pronounce the extraordinary long Moari word at the meeting spot. Here, when we introduced ourselves, 2 guys behind us said they are Malaysians, so we had a conversation. These 2 young guys are MAS staff on holiday in NZ - one is Mahathir, a pilot and the other is Hussin, an aircraft engineer.
















Te Puia is an amazing place.I was fascinated by its geysers, mudpools and the pungent sulphuric smell. It didn't bother me. I remember visiting Yellowstone Park in Wyoming, USA. witnessing the spurt of Old Faithful every 3 or so minutes. Old Faithful is a geyser which has not let visitors down and faithfully shoots out every 3 minutes at the dot. There are a number of geysers in Te Puai but they spurt out 3-4 times within an hour. It's really exciting hearing the hissing sound when they spurt out - one after another.

Hannah showed us the manuka plant which amazed me, for I can't imagine how the bees managed to suck the honey in such tiny white flowers. No wonder manuka honey costs a little more than the others. At the area where geysers, mudpools and hotsprings were, there were cemented platform where anyone can sit or lie down and feel the warmth of the geothermal activities underneath. We lay down comfortably.
















A geyser spurts out at Te Puai.
















Chom and Indra at the geothermal hotspots.









At the Moari stage show which we paid NZ$45 each, I salute those people in charge for being firm towards tourists. I think they have a lot of experience dealing with stubborn tourists who refused to follow instruction. A group of Chinese people seemed oblivious of the instruction to not rush and push. They rushed and pushed and made so much noise. Everybody was told to take off their shoes and the men were to sit in front seats and ladies at the back. Repeated instructions were given, they disregarded it, so much so, the staff got annoyed. I would too.

According to Moari custom, a leader of a group has to come forward at the welcoming ceremony. An Irish man was appointed to represent the group of tourists. After the ha, ha ceremony, they rubbed noses and welcomed us in. That was where the rushing and pushing happened whereas there were so many seats available. I have watched Moari dances on TV and so it wasn't so extraordinary to me. I wished they could offer more!








The Moari show wasn't spectacular but I volunteered to get on th stage to dance a Moari dance. It wasn't bad actually and I had fun!










Indra doing the Moari dance at the storing house.













The Moari dance show at Te Puai.








Our day 0n 28 March in Rotorua was full of activities and fun. Immediately after Te Puai we decided to go to Paradise Valley Springs to see lion - feeding. I wasn't excited to see lion -feeding actually as I have seen it in Indonesia and feeding tigers in The Lost World of Tambun, Perak. So, I thought it was nothing to shout about. But I was in for a surprise. Feeding the lions at Paradise Valley Spring was something you have to see. There were 8 lions with one dominant male and a very old lioness. The keeper threw lumps of meat over the fence and the lions scuttled to get it. Of course the huge male lion had control. I felt sorry for an old lioness who hid herself and didn't go for the food. Everyone was concerned. But this old lioness had a strategy. She let everyone scrambled and fought for the meat first and she just watched patiently. Finally when every lion was full, she quietly went for it. Smart girl!! These lions need 30 kilos of meat everyday.














Paradise Valley Springs itself is a paradise. The park is cool and green with exciting plants and animals. We saw 2 boys with 2 huge trouts. In the park, there were plentiful of rainbow trouts swimming in the clean, clear river. They were so big!! The park doesn't allow fishing but outside the park, the river offers abundant trouts.




















There are many other animals for visitors to enjoy. This ram is cute. He followed us expecting food and he loved eating from our hands.














With a ram at Paradise Valley Springs Park, NZ.

The walk in Paradise Valley was heaven. There are different types of ferns there but the ferns there were hard and stiff, not like ours. At one look, one may say it is plastic. The ferns grow so well and healthy.
















Feeding the black swans in Paradise Valley Springs.









Sheep herding demonstration at Agrodome.

We left Paradise valley Springs to go to Agrodome Park but unfortunately it was late and almost closing time. We managed to see a demostration on sheep dog doing his work - herding sheep in the pen. The dog was smart and agile, trained to thrill the audience. After the show he came straight to the people to be pat or be admired until his owner whistled for him to heel. This sheep dog is adorable and amazing. It would be great fun to see a real sheep dog at work.

It was a full day for us. I was tired but happy and satisfied with the experience and the fun I had. We went back to Cleveland Motel and I soaked myself again in the geothermal pool there, feeling relaxed and fresh.