Introducing my siblings 2

He was the gentlest and the good-looking member of the family. This second brother of mine is an angel who doesn't know how to get angry and always has a smile. He warked in Radio Malaysia before he retired and lived in Subang Jaya but later relocating to Batang Tiga, Melaka with his family.

Bang Pudin married young after he finished his Senior Cambridge and worked a while.

His marrieage was not a match-making process for he met and fell in love with a school girl, Maimon. It was taboo to establish any kind of relationship with the opposite sex at that time. So he asked my mother to see her family for her hand. She was about 15 years old. They got married and had 6 children. She had to quit school to be a wife - at an age when girls still play with little dolls.

I was not able to acess my memory about my relationship with him as a child because of the age different. I remember I used to spend my time visiting him when he lived in Kuantan and Segamat. They had an oldest son, Saiful Akbar, our first nephew and my mother's first grandchild. Saiful was such a beautiful, fair and chubby baby that everyone would fight to hold him. We used to take him back to Tg. Kling for a few days and spoilt him rotten. To us, Saiful was the angel God sent. All the uncles and unties just doted on him. It must be hard for my brother and sister-in-law to let people take away their first child even for a few days but we didn't understand then. We thought it was our right!

Being an obedient son, I remember him being so gentle with my father and mother and never talked back, even if he was scolded or my parents showed their displeasure towards his action or bahaviour. I know my mother had a soft spot for him. But he was matched with a stronger personality and always at the back and call of Kak Mon. To me, Bang Pudin is a very patient and tolerant man to the extend that his ideas and decision are voiced through his wife's mouth.

The attention given to Saiful eased a little bit when he got two other brothers, Kahar and Ari, who were just as fair, chubby and adorable as Saiful was. I used to cuddle Ari and carried Kahar around when I visited them in Segamat and Kuantan. These nephews of mine were such a delight but I didn't remember much of my nieces, Ani and Yah and another nephew, Anuar as at that time I was already busy with my life at University Malaya.

They had a nice house by the sea at Batang Tiga, Melaka, next to Kak Mon's heritage house which belonged to her mother. Unfortunately they decided to sell the house and I didn't know about the heritage house which housed old traditinal design and knick-knacks. The last time I found out, it was left unattended and was in ruin. It's such a pity that our Malay heritage was not really valued and has lost our culture by modern influence.

I was married on June 15, 1968 at their old rented house in Kg. Melayu, Petaling Jaya, in a very simple ceremony. Since Bang Pudin was the only married brother who lived in KL/PJ at that time, the responsibility to hold the ceremony fell on his shoulder. I was doing my Diploma in Education at that time at Universitry Malaya. It was a 'Nikah Gantung' ceremony and the actual bersanding was postponed until I completed my Diploma and reported for duty the next year. The ceremony was held at my old house no. 3735C, Tg. Kling, Melaka on 2 July 1969 which was more for the villagers than anything else. Zubaidah Abdul Rahman and Rosenah Ahmad, my old faithful friends from university days came to become my bridesmaids. Thank you Bang Pudin and Kak Mon for making the ceremony possible for me. I supposed at that time time, they had no choice but to accept the responsibility. We took it fot granted without even consulting them whether it was OK. It was just part of our culture that the oldest member of the family take responsibility more than the others. Come to think of that, I feel sorry that they were not given the choice to say No.

As my brother was such an angel, he valued peace and harmony in his marriage. When my mother was sick and was hospitalised at Malacca General Hospital, again he took the responsibility to take care of her and took her to his house to recouperate. He was the one who cleaned, bathed and fed her but after about 3 days my sister-in-law insisited that she should be sent back to her own house in Tg. Kling which is about 15 kilometers away alone. It saddened and pained my heart when my mother in her little way recounted how my brother shed tears when he took her back to her house as she had not fully recovered yet. He faithfully cycled everyday to see my mother to clean, bathe and feed her and returned to his house in the evening. I know my mother had never healed from the hurt of her daughter-in-law's treatment of her. At one time, when I was taking her back to PJ to my house in my family van and I stopped at my brother's house, she simply refused to get down and insisted to sit in the van even though it was hot. No matter how much I, my brother and my sister-in-law coaxed her to come down, she didn't budge. She was really hurt. She never talked about it after that. When she was sick at that time, all her daughters were in KL and didn't know the extend of her illness.

My younger sister, Anah, later insisted taking her back to her house in PJ, when she fell unconscious alone in her old house again. She stayed with Anah for about 6 years but passed away in my house. Thank you Anah for taking care of mother and thank you Kamaruddin for being such an understanding son-in-law and took care of her as well. I know it was hard to take care of old people for it tested your patience. May God bless you both.

That's my brother, Ahmad Saifuddin Abdul Rahman and still as gentle and patient as before. I just hope his children will be kind to him and Kak Mon in their old age and take care of them as they should. I believe children will treat you as you treat your parents.

Bang Pudin, I love you as you can calm me down when I am in anger.

Picture taken in May 1968 in my graduation robe with my mother, Saiful (left) Yah, Ani and Kahar.