Aidilfitri 2010 for Rania

Friday 10 September 2010, Selamat Hari Raya Puasa, my 'jantung pisang' Rania. This is your first Raya in this real world but you are not aware of it yet, being just almost 5 months old. Your mom dressed you in sweet pink, then our family, including Mak Uda, Angah and Su Kamalia went to visit my third oldest brother, Fuad, at his daughter's condo in Mont Kiara. This is the first time we had the opportunity to beraya with Tok Lang after so many years. Usually he spent his raya with his in-laws.







Your Tok Lang is diabetic and his right leg has been amputated. I know he felt restless and frustrated, not being able to do things on his own, especially driving his car to anywhere he fancies. Now he has to depend on his wife and daughters to take him to wherever he wants to go, if they agree to do so. Above all, they control his food intake - no more sugar. He hates it but I know it is for his own good.
As your Tok Lang grows older he looks more and more like your Tok Moyang, my father. Your Tok Moyang would love to see you and would dote on you as I am. Your Nek Moyang also would feel the same, would spoil you rotten. They would be so proud of you as they had with all their other grandchildren. I went to visit your Nek Moyang's grave yesterday morning at Bukit Kiara, before Raya day. I did this almost every year to avoid the congested crowd at the grave site when relatives would come to pay respect to their loved ones who have passed on. Surprise! So many other people have the same idea and the place was just as crowded. I hope when I am gone, you will be able to visit my grave and read me yassin and al fatihah. Perhaps you could persuade your mom to do the same. You would also try to keep my grave attractive with pretty flowering plants as you know I love plants - green and flowering ones. You can see at your garden now, I have planted pots of colourful flowering plants and make the garden more cheerful. That's where I take you to almost every morning to listen to the birds. And I love to see you smile when I sing 'Lompat si katak lompat' to you. Your smiles, your babbles and your shrieks really make my day.
You have a 3 months old second cousin there, Adli or Gibon as he was nicknamed. With a mohiccan hair style he looks so cute but to me you are the cutest of all. Ok, I know I am biased!!










Your Mak Yang playfully salam and asked for forgiveness from your mom, her older sister. Looking on are your dad and your auntie (Tok Lang's daughter, Ailin)









We did the ritual of salam raya asking for forgiveness with my brother ( being the oldest there) as the head of the clan, then me and Mak Uda. We had such fun time arranging everybody according to age taking turn to salam raya. The little ones collect duit raya - not much but it was fun. Your aunties forgot about you, being so little, but your nenek reminded them of you.
So you were included in the ritual of receiving duit raya and promptly you chew the envelopes. I always like this ritual which your Tok Moyang insisted so that all his grandchildren from 11 children know one another. I tried to keep this practice intact but it wasn't the same. I hope your mom and dad will continue this ritual once I am gone.
You were the star attraction being so marvelously well- behaved - no crying or whimpering. Instead you were wide-eyed curious to see so many people wanting to hold you. You smiled so charmingly and tried to soak in the different faces around you. On the little swing your auntie put you, you promptly lulled yourself to sleep.
When the time came to go home, you were wide awake again. Being a tall guy, your dad carried you so effortlessly to the car and again you felt asleep easily once the car started to go. It was quite an adventure for you today. I am so proud of you.
You will always know my 'jantung pisang' that your grandma loves you to bits.
May you have many, many more happy hari Rayas my love.