Eidilfitri 2008

Selamat hari Raya to all my friends, relatives and all Muslims in general. This year is another happy raya for me. I am blessed by Allah with a good life. As I said before it doesn't take much to make most parents happy. It doesn't take much for my children to make me happy and they did make me a happy mother this raya. I missed Maz and Hazri though. Maz called early raya morning from Terengganu to wish me happy raya and asked for forgiveness. There were no reluctance or excuses from Ika and Izrin. With Justin, my son-in-law, they willingly followed me visiting my relatives.

After raya prayer in the morning, we did the same routine - salam and asked for forgiveness for mistakes they made towards me. Of course, I willingly forgive them as for me they have done nothing wrong. I am a mom. It's the job of a mom to love their children to death. I will love them no matter what. Yes, I get hurt sometimes by their thoughtlessness but I forget it the next moment and life returns to normal. Anyhow, I still missed the fun of this salam routine when my parents were still alive.

I visited my first cousin who lives nearby in Port Dickson. This is the first time my children and his children met - all grown up with children of their own. I just hope, at least, when they meet the next time they know they are related.

The next visit was the yearly must-do-thing - a visit to Rembau where my youngest aunt lived with his schezophrenic son. My aunt has passed away but we still go there every year, at least to see our cousins. I am so pleased Justin came along and see for himself what I told him about this side of my family. The village is still isolated, only 2 families live there - my cousins. It doesn't seem so desolate anymore as there is a narrow tarred road leading to the rubber land further inside. Thank you to the government for doing this. The jungle is no more a jungle where tigers used to roam free but rubber trees. I am so pleased also to see one or two neices and nephews still faithfully visit this side of my family on their own.

I still own a few pieces of land there as I am the oldest of my mother's daughters. Being in a matriarchal system (adat Perpatih) it falls naturally to me and my sisters. It doesn't bother us, My aunt wanted to live there, we are happy for it and that was my mother's wish as well. All my mother's sisters have passed away. My other first cousins have moved away and lived in cities like KL, PJ, Subang Jaya, Shah Alam - just like me. Some return sometimes but many do not. I have even forgotten my cousins, some I have not met for ages. So, now my personal mission is to find as many of them as possible so that we could meet again.

We (I) drove to Malacca to visit my younger sister, Ani. I marvel at this sister of mine with her soft and kind heart. She is taking care of her stroke/diabetic husband who is bed-ridden, inspite of the abuse and the misery he inflicted on her during his healthy days. I have always felt disgusted of this brother-in-law and could never accept him for what he has done to my sister. I wonder why didn't his young second wife take care of him when she purposely destroyed my sister's happiness by marrying him. Isn't it time now that she should care for him if she loves him as she proclaimed when she married him.? Why is she abandoning him and the caring goes back to my old sister? I think she is one heartless and useless woman that has prostituted herself for her sexual desire. But the choice was my sister's. I can't say anything. So, I went there just to meet my wonderful sister but I do not admire her at all. I didn't even have the desire to say 'selamat hari raya' to him.

The next stop was my sister-in-law whom my youngest brother divorced after she retired because he married another heartless young woman who wanted him for his position and money. This is another of my family member's case that disgust me. Ju is lucky as she demanded divorce. My brother is not young anymore and he has retired. If he is ailing then this present wife's duty to care. To me any woman, divorcee or single, who grabbed another woman's husband is just like a prostitute who offered sex for love and use religion (Islam) as an excuse to get married. I have seen this in many cases. - ordinarary people, film stars, singers etc. To me they get happiness out of another women's misery. Isn't it cruelty? I know of one case where this young divorcee had a sexual affair with her own close friend's husband and demanded marriage. I am sure there are many cases like this. I liken such behaviour as prostitution because she prostitutes herself in the name of love by offering sex and then turn around and gave the excuse ' sudah terlanjur'. So to wipe out the dosa (sins) they must get married. My religion (Islam) is being made a mockery by these people. I respect prostitutes more, at least they offer sex for money, with no hidden agenda.

Anyway, I salute Ju. She is retired and she blossomed into a successful dignified lady. She is happier and able to do what she wants to do. Her contribution to education is recognised and she earns more than before. Her children have grown up, become professionals in their own right. she is a young grandmother and doing her own things. Good for you, Ju. No matter what, you are always my sister-in-law and a family member. Anyway, I don't care to communicate with my brother.

My apology to my older brother (Mahir) and sister-in-law and my nephew (Yan) and wife for not being able to go to their houses. We have met in Rembau earlier and time was getting late. Ika, Justin and Izrin have to go back to PJ. Mok and Raisa were left alone in the house with enough food and toilet trays. But they need fresh food and water. Ika will not let Mok be miserable and Izrin will not let raisa miss him. My two cats' comfort is most important. I miss my fat, cuddly Mok and my Queen Mother, Raisa.

We paid a visit to my father's grave. After Yasin and Fatihah, we drove back to PD. I hope Justin learned something about my family and raya. Feel sorry for him too. I am sure he felt out of place sometimes because our conversation was such a mixture of Malay and English - fast and excited. I know it is hard to follow but I think he can make out something. Though this is his second raya as a Muslim, this is his first visit to my side of the clan. I am glad I have a good mat saleh son-in-law who is curious and interested to learn new things.

What a day - a real raya. I thanked Ika, Justin and Izrin for making me so happy. May God bless them.

Happiness is to see those dear to my heart are happy.