Extra kgs

I was taking my usual morning walk today. I have not been excersising since fasting month and I am feeling guilty. People are supposed to loose weight during fasting month but instead I put on weight, not much, only one kg but it is still extra fat hanging on my body. So I am back on my normal life at my place trying to keep fit, hoping I would loose at least 5 kgs. Fat hope!! Seems like the extra fat refuses to leave my body, particularly my stomach, thighs and bumps. It clings on desperately - as desperate as I want to get rid of it.

Imagine, just about 10 years ago, I was a shapely slim lady who wore size S or M. Slowly I graduated to size L and now I fit only size XL. Is it going to be size XXL soon. Oh God, please spare me the horror! I know a lot of people share the same story but I was skinny when I was young. I had to take weight-on and appetite-inducing tonic to help me eat. When I gained one pound, I was so proud and the whole world would know it. The middle-age spread began after retirement, not during my menopausal period. Suddenly I found myself bloating, the meter of the weighing machine went up, I was shocked and in denial. I told myself this is temporary - fat hope, ha, ha!!

One thing I realized, I am not in denial anymore. This is my life. I am not fat actually but a little bit 'berisi'. But I am OK. I still look good. So my exercise now is not so much to loose weight but to take care of my heart, my knees and all the muscles in my body which thereaten to get stiff if I don't use them. Thank God that I still can climb 8 flights of steps without collapsing, walking at fast pace without gasping and hoolahooping as long as I want it.

At the same time, I take care of my food, though most time I succumbed to temptation. Internet information helps me in looking after my glaucoma. I worked hard in lowering the eye-pressure and syukur I have been quite successful so far. My doctor wants me to lower it further so that I don't have to go for surgery. I take vegetable juice faithfully every day with food supplements, avoid meat and fried food but char kuey teow is my weakness. So I seldom go out to eat. Most important, I am allergic to stress. Stress, tiredness, anger, frustration and worry are the worst culprits that cause me headaches. That's bad for my eye-pressure. So I lead a more relaxed life and work hard to avoid any form of stress. I do self-hypnosis almost every night to calm my mind.

So what if I have four or five kgs hanging on my body like a leach sucking my blood and refused to go. I am healthy, so far, and have a good life with Allah's blessing. I don't know about tomorrow. Who am I to complaint?

Nobody can remain stagnant. Change is a part of life.