Mok again

Yesterday was quite a devastating day for me. I was in despair. Izrin told me that Mok might be blind. Ika noticed that Mok was not able to blink or close his left eye even when sleeping. I was shocked as he was perfect when I last saw him. Dr. Netto, the vet, asked a lot of questions which I answered 'normal', even to the question whether he had any hard knock on the head. He suspected Mok may have glaucoma! I almost fell out of my chair with surprise - I am the one having glaucoma, why Mok??? He wrote a letter referring Mok to UPM animal clinic for further checkup.

In the car to UPM, I recalled that Ika thought he knocked Mok while reversing her car but the vet in PD, proclaimed him OK. I guess, this is an after-effect of the accident. Dr. Chan of UPM diagnosed a grim picture. The nerves on the left side of his face are affected and he was numbed around the left eye and face. He has to be on medication for life. She requested that we paid close attention to his behaviour for fear of other problems. Later, Ika SMS me that she noticed Mok would struggle to get up and wobbled sideways when walking. Oh God, that reminds me of stroke patients when I was working with NASAM.

I remember another beloved cat of ours, Muffin Senior, as beautiful and lovable as Mok, hit his head on a running car in a rush to come home. His eyes hang out and he was in great pain but we wanted to save him. The vet did a major operation on him and we didn't mind a blind cat as long as he lived. But unfortunately he died due to severe injury. Out hearts broke and for some time we refused to have pets but cats are our weakness. We started adopting again and later Mok was born.

I faced a number of challenges in preparing for this Haj. I maybe leaving with a heavy heart but I know Mok is in good hands with Ika and Izrin caring for him. Ika was really upset and I don't want her to be so, in her condition now.

I have cleared a number of issues before leaving though some hearts were hurt through my harsh words. I don't mince words when it comes to something that I feel not right. Forgiveness comes from the heart and I have done so. As far as I am concerned, I have voiced my displeasure and if someone gets hurt, that's too bad. I have forgotten and forgiven and my life goes on as usual. I don't waste my time and energy keeping grudges. If anybody bears grudges, that's not my problem. They have to deal with it. So, issues with FSKPM, Haj package, bounced cheque, family day and book publishing are cleared and I am happy with the outcome.

I know there are some more challenges I am going to face while doing my Haj. That would be huge tests for my patience and tolerance which are low and my great weaknesses. Ya Allah berilah aku kesabaran menempuh dugaanMU semasa menunaikan Haji. Sharipah and I have a pack, that we are going to remind ourselves over and over again and focus only to Haj, insyaallah. Being seniors, with a number of ailments, we are armed with medications and supplements. It really tickles me to think the great difference when performing Haj when I was in my thirties with the present. I guess everyone will go through this.

Ya Allah, please help me and my friends, Sharipah, Sofiah and Omar performing our Haj and grant us Haji Mabrur and allow us to come back to our families safely on 28 Dec 2009.