My Sibling 5

Ahmad Mahir as a young man.

Brother and sister, 1997.

BangMahir, Kak Nun, Nini and Yanti at family gathering 2005.

Brother and sister in 2007.

Looking back at my childhood, brought back so much fond memory and appreciation of my experience living in a traditonal Malay culture in the 50s and 60s. I'll try to describe it when I talk about my childhood in the next blog. My immediate older brother is Ahmad Mahir and my relationship with him when we were young was quite tumultuous - one minute we were friends and the next minute we were arch enemies. I always envied my brothers, for their freedom of being boys. They could do anything and played all the boys' games without any sanction from my parents. They were also free to go roaming the village as and when they pleased (except at night, of course). While I, as a girl had to stay home and do everything that a girl was supposed do. I haaaated this!!!

Bang Mahir just loved teasing me, getting me into frenzied temper and made me cry, then he would run outside leaving me furious. He urged and dared me to do boys' activities which my parents forbid, like climbing trees and hooking my legs on a branch to swing, just like a circus trapeze, playing guli and gasing with the boys. I was good at all those activities. I always thought if my brothers could do it, I could too if not better. The moment my father came home, he reported my activities to him. As I have been warned to stay at home and be a girl, my father would cane me. As I remember, my father caned me only on my feet, never on my body but it was quite painful! Bang Mahir sniggered and jeered at me behind my father's back. It angered me more.

As children, it was quite an intense sibling rivalry but as we grew up and Bang Mahir went away to join Bang Ifin at the Royal Military College, life was peaceful. I remember, while he was in High School, Malacca, he didn't like going to Quran reading class in the village and always played truent. But I was good at it and khatam Quran twice, so my father gave me the responsibility to tutor him for Quran reading after school. I wasn't succesful and he never khatam Quran. While teaching him to read, he diverted my attention by offering papayas, and titbits which he brought back from school. We ended up eating and talking and when the hour was up, he learned nothing!

At the Military College, he had to keep up with my 4th brother, Ariffin who was very disciplined, hard-working and meticulous while Bang Mahir was a devil-may-care person. He landed himself into some trouble with the college hoping Bang Ifin would rescue him. He did not. So to channel his excess energy, he got himself involved in boxing and took part in competetion. Where study was concerned, he was too playful to achieve excellence - a stark difference with his older brother, Ariffin.

As a young man he has a quick temper and at one instant he slapped my nephew, Saiful or Kapul leaving a red mark on his plump cheek. Immediately after that he was sorry and tried to coax Kapul with his attention. Everybody was angry at him for slapping the favourite boy of the family but nobody dared say anything fearing his temper. He was rebellious as well and often disregarded my parents' wishes. My parents had quite a tough time dealing with him for he refused to listen to anybody.

As I grew up to become an adolescent, we became closer and friendlier. He would introduce his friends to me and we used to go out together. I got to meet all his girl-friends too, including my sister-in-law, Zainun Ali. They met while she was in Maktab Perguruan Prempuan Melayu Melaka at Durian Daun. She is from Terengganu and settled in Malacca now. Bang Mahir was proud of his sister for I have made a name for myself in Malacca - as a good student and Malacca state's speaker in Malay speech contests. My friends were also interested to be friends with me because I have a good-looking brother. When I was in form four at the Methodist Girls School in Malacca, he bought a scooter. That was his mode of transport to go to school to teach. I learned how to ride a scooter with him and he was patient enough to teach me though it displeased my parents.

Bang Mahir is a friendly and amicable person and has many loyal friends who called him Mat Mahir. As Malacca is a small state, Mat Mahir was quite well-known. When I was working as an officer in the Ministry of Education, his friends always refered me as Adik Mat Mahir, even though they knew my name. So I was Adik Mat Mahir to all his friends and Zuraidah did not exist.

He retired from education service when he was working as an officer in Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri Melaka. His wife, Kak Nun is also retired as a school teacher. Now as he grew older, he became more placid, pious and thoughtful especially after he returned from his Haj. Bang Mahir has 4 children whose youngest daughter, Yanti, just got married on last 29 November. I used to spend time with him and Kak Nun and my nephews and nieces when they were young. Kak Nun used to say that her daughter, Nini, exhibits a lot of my personal traits. She is lecturing at a private college in KL. I just hope she picks up the good ones and disregards the nagative ones in me. I told my students the same thing when they said they wanted to be like me. I am not a good role-model in certain behaviour, especially my temper. Pick up my strengths, please.

My niece, Nini and her daughter.

Zainun Ali, my sister-in-law ,as a young teacher trainee in th 60s.

Now everyone is married with families of their own and we meet occasionally when there is family gathering such as wedding or family get-together.

I don't have his photos when he was young but will try to get them when I visit them one day soon.

Bang Mahir and Kak Nun, thank you for being my friends. May you have a good life in front of you.