Grown-up

Mother and son on Hari Raya 2008.
















Haidi with her parents at family dinner on 1 March 2009.








Hurray!!!! My son, Izrin, has grown-up. In my eyes he is still the young rebellious kid that had given me so much challenge in raising a boy, just like I did to my mother. He has turned into a dedicated worker, committed to his job and responsibility, to the extend that he seems like a workerholic. I am very proud of him actually. The little boy whom I fought a lot has turned into a caring young man.

He is getting engaged!! My brothers and sisters were quite pleased to hear, finally, at 31 he wants to commit himself to this 3 years girlfriend of his. I thought he would never get himself tied down to any girl for a long time yet. I told him once that he should think of marriage only when he is 40 because he doesn't seem to like responsibility, let alone taking responsibility over another person. He took it with so much humour and I think all of us still think that he is a little boy.

So I met Haidi's parents at dinner last week. The meeting is doing away with the traditional practice of merisik etc. I don't have time to go through all that and lucky, Haidi's parents think the same way. We sat down discussing the process of tying the marital knot between the two of them and the usual preparations, like the engagement date, the tentative wedding date, the hantaran bertunang and kahwin, the mas kahwin, the rings etc, etc. Like any modern day relationship, both Izrin and Haidi have already discussed these between them and just conveyed their wishes to us. We were there just to formalise what has been agreed between the two of them. That makes things much easier. The only thing that I reminded Izrin is never start a marriage with wedding debts hanging over their heads. I think both of them know that and have plan of their own.

They want to get married next year, just after Haidi finishes her studies. So Izrin is saving for the wedding - no new car, no unnecessary additional computer parts and no lavish spending. That's good - that means he is learning to be responsible with his money. But he still insists to go to UK for his holiday in May - talk about saving!

What surprised me was, Izrin told me that he decides to marry Haidi because I approve of her and he would not choose a girl whom I don't like. Beside that, Haidi really cares for him. I was touched that inspite of his rebelliousness he still wants his mom to say OK. I feel important and I like that feeling. In our relationship as mother and son, we had quite a few conflicts, so much so, I steel myself from any pain he would cause me. I left him alone to have his own life with as little communication as possible. I am happy to see that he has become calmer though there is occassional burst of temper when he is agitated. As a mother, I do worry over him for not taking care of his health - junk food, soda, poor sleeping habit, smoking and no exercise. I have stopped nagging him over that.

I pray for Izrin's success and happiness and hope he will make Haidi happy. I hope he is aware in his mind and his heart that his mom loves him to death.