Vision Impaired

Hope is ongoing, just like the fine sand attempting to make a pattern on an unpredictable beach.

In the course of my work, I met different kinds of people, with variety of issues - personal, emotional, work-related etc etc. Listening to them verbalise their concerns make me feel more humbled and grateful to Allah for what He has given me this far in my life. Whatever deep fragile feelings buried inside me seems so trivial.

I met a young man the other day. He is a young good-looking 25-year old but vision-impaired due to glaucoma. Life is tough for him adjusting to his sudden loss of vision. Abviously he was not prepared for this. Looking at him, nobody will ever believe that he can't see, with his eyes wide and alert. But you have to look at his eyes carefully, then you will notice how hard he is trying to focus to the sound around him. Listening to him expressing his bewilderment, frustration, disappointment and fear, I try not to feel sorry for him. I believe he has what it takes to face this challenging world minus his sight. Only at this moment, he is finding his way. With lots of support, he will get over his frustration. He just needs faith, patience, determination and plenty of help - at the beginning.

I don't want to feel sorry for him. It's not pity that he needs but support and believe in him. I will hate having people pitying me if the time comes for me to loose my sight as I suffer from glaucoma too. Only time will determine when my sight will go. But if it does, do not pity me. I can do without pity, thank you. What I need is help so that I can adjust as fast as possible to the world of darknes. Loosing your vision doesn't mean loosing your dignity. I don't want to be dependent on anybody, including on my own children. This is my way of protecting myself from hurt and disappointment especially when the ones you think would care for you let you down. This is what that young man is going through - hurt that his family members are reluctant to go out of their way to help him when he is groping his way through. He cried as I would cry too. Nobody can make me cry now except my children. So help me to adjust to a new way of life and never feel sorry for me. But I am quite optimistic that I would still enjoy the beauty of the world for many more years to come - I hope and pray.

I have a number of caring friends around me. Zaitun Hussin, a former colleague in Unimas, went out of her way to find me the eyebright herbs in Australia and had it posted to me. Another friend made sure I went to see a homeopathy doctor that she knows. Bill and Kak Nor made appointment for me to see a glaucoma specialist in Adelaide but unfortunately my schedule was tight when I was there and failed to keep the appointment. Bill suffers from glaucoma too for several years and now in his 70s but still active traveling around. So I am hopeful. I am working hard to keep my eye pressure down. Stress is my worst enemy.

Good luck and all the best to the young man. I notice he has good friends at work who care for him but I hope they will help him to be independent, not dependent.