I met a Malay lady vet the other day. When I told her I live alone, she went all sad pitying me. She told me that I should have somebody living with me. I let her talk and just smiled. Finally I said, though jokingly but was serious about it. 'Please, you don't need to pity me living alone, you are just wasting your time and energy. I CHOOSE to live alone and be alone. I am perfectly happy living by myself. I love me and I enjoy my own company.'
I don't know what goes on in some people's mind - they judge and assume that by living alone, you're lonely, unhappy and should be pitied. There is such thing as being alone and aloneness. You can have wonderful husband/wife and children but you still feel alone and experience aloneness especially when you feel unfulfilled. Aloneness can overcome you even when you're in a crowd. It's a state your mind and feeling. You can choose to be alone and not experience aloneness. It's how you think and how you feel.
So I don't want to waste my time explaning my preference in my living style. She has made up her mind that I am lonely. Am I lonely? At the moment I don't even know what loneliness is. I have no time to think and feel about it. My head is full of things I want to do. My time is full with things that I do and have little time to whilst away. What I know I am perfectly happy as I am. I don't even want to live with my children, adorable as they are (sorry my loves, the three of you are the light in my life but mummy chooses this life). What I feel great about is, I don't have anyone who can make me mad or hurt me. I am my own master - I do what pleases me, make my own decision without the need to ask permission, scoot off somewhere whenever I feel like it, buy what I want without feeling guilty, etc etc etc. So, am I lonely?
Frankly I feel sorry for those women and men who seem to have somebody who is supposed to care for them but they feel lonely, uncared and experience aloneness. I have seen so many married men and women in my life who are lonely and they strayed. In the process they hurt people around them. Married men and women have affairs and the children become the victims.
So those singles who live alone, enjoy your life, love yourself, feel good about yourself. Whoever feel sorry for you they are the ones who should be pitied, not you! Just take care of your safety.
Life is what you make out of it.
4 comments:
Respect your thinking about aloneness. People outside always think what they look generally, but you only knows your life. Sometimes, we are free when we stay alone. No need to think about others such as housemate, roommate, even spouse. But everyone have their choices. As i know you so far, you have a lot of things to do to avoid aloneness.Go ahead!
I used to put a great deal of emphasis on loneliness. I've never like being alone and saw it as a weakness. But once I got over it, I learned that it is only a state of mind. You can be in a crowd and feel lonely. There is nothing wrong with living alone (I know I've had great times living on my own with zero irritation!)
Hello Auntie,
Let me give you my virtual hugs and kisses. For some reasons, I really miss you. Thinking of you wherever I go, and finally I get my lazy hands to type somethin in your blog. Thanks to Najidah- teaching you how to write ur blog. Love to hear from you. hehe...Time flies so fast..I read your blog now and then and rarely write you..I apologize. xoxoxox...Miss you again..I am in internet cafe somewhere in the mall. Now feel tired...huarghh... (yawning)..still jet lag. will call you later...xoxoxoxo~amalia.
Hi Ama
Nice to know you surf my blog. I read yours too. just learned how to write comments. I think you remember the state I was in with computer when I first joined Unimas. That's the price you pay when you have somebody to do things for you. But thanks to you, you helped me at the initial stage everytime I was stuck.
So you're back in Kuching. Enjoy your vacation home and the very best in your research.
Auntie Zu
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