Kak Long, my oldest sister

My sister, Zawiyah as a young girl.

The age gap between me and my oldest sister, Zawiyah, is big - around 20 years. I vaguely remember her in my childhood. She got married and moved away to Muar. I remember spending much of my teen years with her, watching her washing mountain of clothes by hands, her family's and her step children's. Most of her time was spent in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning and washing - almost all day long. She tackled her tasks calmly and patiently with no help from her step children who were old enough to do so. Whenever I paid her a visit, I was no help either. Being young, I prefer to play or hang around with my niece, Chom, who is just a little bit younger than me. We became close friends. To me this sister of mine is an angel, faithfully taking care of her large family, no matter how hard life was then. I am so glad and so proud that my niece treats her and takes care of her so well now. She deserves a good life in her old age.

This is my sister Zawiyah as a nurse at Malacca Hospital, with her friend, Gracie.

My sister, Zawiyah with her oldest daughter, Umi Kalthum (Chom) and my Bang Taufik's wife, Kak Timah in Muar.

So in actual fact, I have 11 brothers and sisters. Her mother has died when my father married my mother at a very young age. At the time when it was taboo for Malay girls to go to school, my father sent her to an English school. She became a nurse and that was how she met her husband. Her career ended. I am sorry, Kak Long, for repeatedly say that there were 10 in the family. I am just thinking of my brothers and sisters with the same mother. I love you as you were like a mother to me when I was little though I don't remember much of it.

I am sorry also for neglecting you so long because of work and living in Kuching. Now that I am free from any ties, I plan to see more of you in JB. Even though she is well over 80, I find her memory is still intact and she faithfully reads newpapers and watches TV for news. She can remember details of her young age and is able to recall names and places - something I am weak at.

With niece, Umi Kalthum Samsu at her Jalan Joned, Muar house.

I salute Chom for being a good daughter, and her husband, Jaafar for accepting a mother-in-law living with him since he married my niece. Allah blesses you in many ways, Chom, for taking good care of your mother and making her life comfortable. I was amused to hear from my niece that even though she is in wheelchair now she insisted to go to the kitchen and cook at least once a week -old habits die hard! But her wish is a command.

Now that another niece, Edah, has retired, she also helps in taking care of my old sister. Kak Long complaints of aches and pains, of things she is not happy, of how she is treated etc etc but that is what old age is. Her long-time carer, Yam, has to patiently bear her grumbles as well. Every time I visited her, I like to see how happy she was having me around and urged me to stay longer. It reminded me so much of my mother when she was ailing. I regretted for being impatient with her. I could be a better daughter.

The black and white photo below shows my oldest sister, Zawiyah, on the left with my childhood friend, Zainun in front of her. On the right is a neighbour, my sister's friend Zaimah, with me in front of her. Don't I look cute! This was taken at the old wooden house for staff at SITC, Tg. Malim. The old house is gone now. Hurei for old photos!!!

Old memories are recorded in photos. They are like time - once lost, it can never be recovered.