Rest in peace, my love

I felt a part of my soul is buried together with Mok today. We buried Mok in the garden in my flower patch near to Raisa's grave. Izrin came to dig the grave and we bade a simple farewell to him. I caressed his luscious hair on his dead body, watched by Rania on my lap. Rania didn't know that she was seeing Mok for the last time. My beautiful Mok, my companion, my listener who never judged me and who had delighted me and the family for 15 years. When I was in Kuching for more than 6 years, Ika took care of him with Izrin's help.









When Raisa died last year in June, Izrin crumbled and that was how Ika and I felt today. I have not got over the pain and the regret that I could bid a better farewell before he left us, that I should realize that he was bidding goodbye when I visited him yesterday.
Maybe some people may not understand why I was so upset, sad and depressed over a dead cat. Mok is not just a cat. He was a family member and lived with us full time for 15 years. We could never find an adorable cat with such placid temperament as Mok.
I have no mood to make his grave pretty today and I don't want his trays and food bowl to be taken out from his toilet. When I see those trays and bowl, I feel Mok is coming back. He just went away somewhere for a break.






Rania adored his photos hanging on my wall in the room and kept calling Mok and pulled at the photos. Mok is there somewhere knowing that he is very much loved and missed. Only those who have strong attachment to their pets will understand my emotion and feeling now -pain and a sense of loss and I still cry.
Mok bonded my children and me. Wherever we were together Mok and Raisa were the topic of our conversation. We saw him grew from a glistening tiny kitten to a big thick hair grown cat who was housebound and loving. My students used to say when they see a picture of Mok in facebook, they know it was me. I felt so proud showing him off as he was such a beautiful cat. Almost everyone we met wanted to hold him and rub his thick hair. Mok didn't know how to bite or scratch and he enjoyed being cuddled.
Ika reminded many times not to adopt any more cats. Beside being a long term big responsibility, the emotional turmoil seeing the pet cat sick, injured or die is so great. We have gone through this many times and Mok was the most tortured experience, I have ever felt as Mok has a special place in my heart.


I am having a hard time to tell Rania that Mok is gone forever. How do I tell an 11 months old little girl this?










Rest in peace my adorable Mok.