Forever in my heart

I can't stop my tears streaming down my cheeks. I felt so heart broken and sad that my cuddly fat Mok died at 8.55 pm at UPM Vet Hospital tonight due to critical renal failure. Dr. Nurul, who knows Mok, called to say that Mok has stopped breathing. My world crashed. I was hoping to bring him back after he gets well and I was optimistic that he would make it and returned home for Rania to play with.









Rania is calling 'Mok' everyday and every cat picture is Mok to her.
We found out that Mok suffers kidney failure after Raisa died of the same ailment on 15 June 2010. Izrin was crushed and we mourned her. We brought Mok for blood test after that and the doctor confirmed that Mok is suffering from renal failure too, at a critical stage. We were ignorant of feline renal problem, not because we didn't care. From then on Izrin, (with Haidi's help), Ika and I took turn to take Mok for dialysis twice a week. We wanted him to live forever.

For 15 years Mok brought joy and pride to us. To me, he was my therapist - a superb listener who accepted me and empathized silently with my woes. He loved to be cuddled and used to sleep with me with his head resting on my chest. He knew my bed is his kingdom. But when Rania came, Mok was 'neglected' a bit as attention was focused on Rania but Rania loves him. In fact Rania's first word is 'Mok'.
I visited him at the hospital this afternoon. He was supposed to be discharged today but Dr. Ong said he needed to stay longer for further treatment, maybe for blood transfusion as other alternative. I okeyed it as long as Mok recovered.
His condition was heart wrenching. Mok couldn't get up. He urinated while lying down on the towel - too weak even to lift his head. When I came, I sat down, patting and scratching his neck as he liked it, talking softly, begging him to eat and promising that I would take him home once he is OK. I knew he knew that it was me talking to him. He lifted his head, looked at me and meowed. According to Dr. Ong, Mok never meowed, very silent and sick. Dr. Ong advised that I should visit him everyday so that he would be motivated. I promised to do that. I never realized in a million years that Mok meowed to say goodbye to me. My heart ached as I wrote this. I wished I have known and I would have stayed longer and talked more to him, assuring him that he would be OK and that he was very much loved. The phone call from Dr. Nurul crushed my heart, Mok is gone forever but he will always live in my heart.
Ika, Izrin and I planned to visit him tomorrow morning. Yes we are going but only to bring his carcass back for burial near Raisa.
I have to put my 3 eye drops but I don't know whether the drops help to lower my eye pressure - they were diluted with my tears.















Farewell my lovely Mok. Thank you for the joy you brought to my life and to everyone in the family. We love you so very much.